Chapter 262: Danny XXIV—Anything
Cecile had not come to the game today, and Danny would be lying to himself if he said that it didn’t hurt his feelings. He couldn’t understand how she had no interest in hockey, or would get no thrill out of possibly seeing him score a goal, for her. He knew she cared, but why didn’t she care enough sometimes?
Worse than that, really, was that they lost the game in such an obviously horrible fashion. Patrick had allowed a handful of goals in a handful of minutes in the third period, blowing their lead and blowing the game. Danny didn’t really want to blame Patrick, after what had happened to his family yesterday, but it just weighed on his mind. The goalie should not have even been in the game.
Cecile had not been there. She was alone somewhere. She had told him that she was thinking of going to church today and just meditating there. After the trauma she had been through, Danny chided himself, how could he deny her a place where she would find the spiritual healing she needed.
His cell phone rang in the parking lot as he was getting ready to leave. Danny dropped his bag of gear and fumbled with it. “Yeah?”
“Danny,” it was Cecile’s voice, soft, almost stilted and distant. His heart jolted.
“Cecile, baby?” he answered.
“Danny, I need to see you,” she said. She sounded exhausted.
“Are you okay?” he asked. He hurled his gear into the car and slid in. “Where are you?”
“I’m at the Sakic house.” She replied. “It’s important that you come.”
Danny swallowed. “Is your mother there?” he asked, and he wondered if there was to be another repeat of heartbreak and denial.
“No,” Cecile said. “Please come.” She hung up.
Danny was
almost in a nervous frenzy as he drove to Joe’s mansion. He knew the Sakic’s
and a bunch of other players were due at the
When he got there he was met at the door by Joe, whose expression was pale and his mouth was tight. Danny could feel the panic again. What had happened? “Hi Cap’n,” Danny said, feeling guilty. “I just…. Just…”
“She’s upstairs with Debbie,” Joe said. “Go on.”
Danny swallowed and gave Joe a weak smile. Within the moment, Joe’s legs were covered by the twins and little Mitchell was hugging him.
His knees felt weak as he slowly went up the stairs. His hand trailed along the cool wood of the railing and he kept licking his lips. It couldn’t be something horrible, that horrible, could it? What could have happened?
He heard light female voices, he recognized Cecile’s and he recognized Debbie’s. It did not sound as if there were any tears, however. Was that a good sign? He swallowed and peeked into the bedroom. He had never been up into this part of the Sakic house. They had strict rules concerning nannies and their paramours, and Danny normally was not allowed up here. Danny peeked into the room. “Cecile?” he whispered.
Cecile was sitting on a soft, large bed, her arms were crossed over her belly and Debbie was standing in the middle of the room, a serious expression on her face. They both looked at him, and Danny felt completely unsure and out of place. “Hey?” he said.
Debbie smiled tightly and she leaned over Cecile and gave her a quick hug, she then turned and as she was leaving the room, she patted Danny on the arm and smiled again. She didn’t say anything, however, and she left.
Danny looked at Cecile, her face did not seem as badly injured as it had last night. A lot of the swelling around her eye had disappeared and even the bruising was lessened. She must be an incredibly fast healer, Danny thought. “Honey?” he asked. “What’s going on?”
Cecile closed her eyes. “Danny, my mother is gone.”
Danny’s first inclination was fear. The way Cecile had said it, the finality in her words, and the lack of any light emotion bothered him. What would she say next? “She is?” Danny asked.
Cecile opened her eyes; he felt no warmth from her. He could not see the want that he would always note in her expression when she would look at him. His normal urge would have been to hold onto her and kiss her. But he suddenly felt cut off.
“Yes,”
Cecile said. “She left a half hour ago, for the airport. She’s going home to
She’s cut me off? Danny thought. Cecile was not smiling; she seemed as if she had had vinegar forced down her throat, as if someone was twisting her arm behind her back to force words from her mouth. She seemed as if she were someone about to deliver news they just did not want to accept. The fear and anger filled him, why would she seem that way unless….
“And you will be joining her soon?” Danny said, looking at the ring still twinkling on her hand. How could she? She promised!
Cecile shook her head, her bottom lip crinkling some. “No,” she said. “I won’t be.”
Danny had never felt so unwelcome a presence in his life. He pressed his palm into the doorframe, and he felt like a stranger. Her eyes were not welcoming him; they were not urging him or calling to him like they usually did. “I don’t understand.” He said.
“I spoke with her today,” Cecile said. “I went to the church, and then I came here, that’s why I couldn’t come to your game Danny. I needed to do this, it had to be now.”
Danny curled his fingers, he saw it now. It was a flicker of ache in the corners of her mouth, a pale want in her eyes. “Yes?” he said.
Cecile nodded, the flicker of emotion leaving her again, and steeling her face. “I told her everything,” she said. “I told her about us, and our decision and our love. I told her.”
“And what happened?” Danny whispered.
“And she…” Cecile closed her eyes, “She’s insane Danny. That’s the only word to describe it. She’s gone mad.”
Danny took a step into the room, “What?”
Cecile looked at him and he could see disgust written in her expression. He was beginning to understand, she was replaying her meeting with her mother in her head, over and over. “She’s mad, Danny,” she said, and her voice sounded scratchy. She cleared her throat. “All of these years there have always been something not right, and I saw it today, delusions, anger, and hate. I did not see my mother, but this… this creature. She was not my mother.” Danny took another step closer to her, but he still did not know what to do or feel welcome to touch her.
“She gave
me an ultimatum, either I go with her now to
“You’re not alone, Cecile,” Danny said, feeling somewhat put out. “You’re not stranded, there was a purpose for your decision, I will always be here for you.”
Cecile’s lips pulled into a smile, it was a soft one, and he saw the glow of her affection, finally he saw it. “Of course,” she said. “I know that. I just… It’s just odd knowing that you’ve reached a point of no return. Somehow, I was hoping that maybe she would meet you and things would be different. I feel so bad.”
“No!” Danny exclaimed and he knelt down on the floor and grabbed her hands, he felt the cool gem on her finger. “She’s been making you feel guilty for years for even breathing, you don’t owe her a thing, don’t feel bad for making a decision that you deserved.”
“Is it what I deserve?” Cecile asked. “Happiness with you? Danny I went about this wrong and I see it now, only now! Why only now? You should have seen her face. It was full of hate and hurt once she realized that I have been deceiving her and lying to her for three years, betraying her trust. Everything she thought I was, and led her to believe…I was the one in the wrong. I led her to believe all of my life that I would form easily into the mould she would have me fashioned in. I should have listened to you a long time ago; I should have introduced you to her and let her see your beauty instead of selfishly keeping you to myself. She can’t ever forgive me now; it was too much of a shock for her to learn.”
Danny at that point noticed the red smear on her cheek, the discoloration that he knew was the broken capillaries of a slap. He pressed his hand into the side of her warm, slim neck, “She hit you?” He knew that the bruising had not come from yesterday, last night he had drank in every detail of her smooth face, he had memorized everything.
Cecile swallowed. “Danny, just go,” she said. “Please, I needed to tell you now. Just go. I can’t function; you deserve to see me as I love you, and smile to you. You deserve better than me as I am, right now.”
“No,” Danny said trying to hug her, “Cecile I won’t abandon…”
“Just go!” Cecile cried and there was venom in her voice that he had never heard in her before. He jumped back from her as if burned. Cecile’s eyes were rimming with emotion, pleading. “Just go,” she whispered. “I love you but just go.”
Danny backed away from her and then she spoke again.
“Not once did she say she loved me,” Cecile said. “I would have given anything if she would have said she loved me. Anything.”
Danny left the house quickly; he paused before he started the car. He should be feeling elated, he thought to himself, now that he finally had Cecile all to himself. But he was simply confused. He did understand what her eyes had told him however. She had silently communicated to him, whether she realized it or not, that “anything” meant she had been that close to giving him up forever, for three simple words from her mother. And that left a hurt in him that he wasn’t sure could ever completely go away.
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