Meghan's Story

My name is Meghan. I am 36 years old and consider myself a survivor. I am not very familiar with posting things on the internet and such, but I figured it couldn't really hurt.

I am currently in a very loving and tender relationship with a woman with whom I have loved for over ten years. Ten Years! Although it seems like a long time, time flies, as we all know. I owe her a lot. She has been there for me thru all sorts of trials and tribulations and I am eternally grateful. I know it has not been easy.

I was abused by my older brother for many years. My parents left me in his care after school, while they were both working. My abuse was both sexual and physical. He would hit me if I would not do the things he asked me to. He would tell my parents that I had behaved badly while they were away as a way to "control" me.

I never dared to tell anyone for the longest time. I truly believed that my parents would not believe me. And I didn't really think any of my friends would either. It was safer to keep things hidden and try to deal with things in the best way I could.

I hated my brother with a passion. It was all I could do to even look at him when people were around. This was when we would pretend that we were a normal brother & sister and everything was fine. It used to make me physically sick to even think of the lies and the untold truths.

I found out when I was in my teens that my brother had also been abusing several girls in the neighborhood. It's amazing to me how long things can remain a secret ... and then, one day, just one person says something and all the little truths come spilling out.

I tried talking to my parents about it as an adult, and they didn't believe me at first. Actually, I guess they really didn't "want" to believe me, and who could blame them? He was their first-born. I knew it would be hard for them to hear, but I needed them to know. Because I knew I needed help.

I knew I was a lesbian when I was about 13 years old. I have never dated a man and I never will. I know my abuse had nothing to do with these feelings. I am a lesbian through-and-through and very proud of it. I do know, however, that I have certain issues that I still need to work on and it will probably be something I will spend the better part of my life doing. That is fine with me, because I look forward to healing.

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