The Religion

                     Welcome to the Revolution

   In the beginning of time, man found he would be in a battle with his spiritual self. Man lived for millions of years trying to find the purpose of his existence. None was ever found. Beliefs of the populace changed through time, and yet changed again, and then again, until the factor of uncertainty only remained in the souls of those who practiced religion. No particular religion casts the answers that all are in search of. In the midst of the 21st century, the believes of 5 estranged parishioners bound together to form the dominant regime of what is to become an epic of grace and enchantment. While walking through the mountain in search of the right place to climb, they stumbled upon the piece of concrete that cemented their hearts, minds, and souls to a religion that they became chosen to lead. Found by the dolly-llama himself, he reads the contents of this stone to his fellow Leprecock mates:

The religion: Jesu Cristo
The purpose: To make known that religion is only as good as the people who follow it.
The founders: Leprecock
The members: Anyone who isn't afraid to challenge what they are forced to know. To believe what you want to believe, because there's no way that all religions are right, so why devote yourself to something that anyone could have made up. In other words, they are no better than us. Take heed and follow Leprecock, for you will be saved!!!

The dolly-llama held the stone over his head, fell to his knees, and the hymns started to overshadow the silence that existed. "Hmmmmmmm, Hmmmmmmmm", the first chant that ignites the religion to the state that it is today commences:

With the power of Jesu-Cristo (cristooooo)
And the glory of Espirito-Santo (santooooo)
He will cum again to saaaaave us (saaaaave us)
Aaaamen

A rock that comes crashing from the air hits the dolly-llama as the song finishes knocking him senseless. His fellow parishioners attend to him, pick up the stone, and find the commandments of the newly formed religion in which they must follow.

Jesu Cristo - 10 Commandments

1.         Thou shall masturbate profusely and consistently.

2.         Thou shall not use the word "cock" in vain, rather caress it..

3.         Keep the holy day cummin'

4.         Thou shall honor your hand, your lotion, and all of its graciousness.

5.         Thou shall Erect a monument in honor of Jesu Cristo.

6.         Thou shall never suffer from awful and fatal diseases (e.g. blue balls)

7.         Thou shall persist climbing the highest mountain until Everest is finally within thy grasp.

8.         During Pent, thou shall not eat meat on Friday's, rather beat meat.

9.         Thou shall honor anything wet, for it is holy.

10.       Thou shall be fully initiated and baptized into Jesu Cristo and/or Leprecock after the whipping of the holy belt and permission of Leprecock's founders.

Thus, the religion made its initial impacts. The commandments were set, the beliefs were set, and the disciples are ready to preach the word of Jesu. Be prepared for judgment day for when it cums, will you be Leprecock and free or will you be uncertain and doomed? The answer lies within thee. Farewell, and may Jesu bless you.