Cracks
in the Mirror
Written by: SugarMe
Chapter Two
Phil cleared his throat
before beginning as he looked at Joe wanting
desperately not to see
that pain and emptiness on Joe's face. "Joe
and I have been friends
for a number of years and I can say with no
hesitations that I have
never seen him look at a woman the way he
always looked at Emily.
She became a part of his soul and forever a
part of his heart. I
knew this was so when I first met her. She will
always be a part of
him in death as in life, as she will always be a
part of us all. Even
though she is no longer with us in body, she is
with us in spirit and
in our hearts." Phil looked over at Joe before
continuing. "Joe, she
has touched us all and I know she would want
all of us to remember
her not in sorrow but in happiness. Remember
her as she was, not
as she is."
Phil lowered his eyes
taking a deep breath as he fought for control
of his emotions. Stepping
down from the altar he once more sat beside
Joe and squeezed his
shoulder for comfort. "Thank you Phil." Joe's
voice cracked with the
pain he felt in his heart and his eyes shone
with the emotion of
his soul. Viv, Sav and Rick made their eulogies
and Joe felt emotionally
drained by the time the ceremony was over.
As the last of the mourners
left the church, Joe stayed behind
sitting in silence with
his head lowered silently mourning his
beloved Emily. Joe sighed
and stood up placing the crutches under his
arms as he walked toward
the casket for one last time.
Laying his hand on the
smooth surface he began to walk away his hand
slowly pulling away
feeling as if he were losing her all over again
as his fingertips fell
from the casket and laid limply against his
side. Phil and Sav were
waiting outside by the time Joe came out of
the church. "How are
you doing buddy?" Sav tried to sound cheerful
but he felt anything
but. "Can you take me home please? I suddenly
feel very tired." Phil
and Sav watched him walk away and they looked
at each other exchanging
a glance of concern wondering if Joe would
be able to rise to the
surface or drown in a river of pain and
sorrow.
The ride home was quiet
and when they finally got back home Joe
immediately went to
his room and shut the door. "Phil do you think
Joe will be alright
in time?" Sav looked at Phil wanting to hear one
answer but knowing that
it would not come. "Only time will tell Sav.
I think we should go
Sav. We can come back in a couple of hours to
check on him." Phil
and Sav looked at the closed bedroom door as they
left and prayed that
soon Joe would be able to heal, but they also
knew that there would
always be an empty place in Joe's heart that
would probably never
be filled again. Joe heard Sav and Phil leave
and he rolled over clinging
to the pillow that Emily had slept on
every night, it still
smelling of the perfume she always wore &
closed his eyes as he
silently cried himself to sleep.
It must have been several
hours since he had first laid down for when
he woke, the room had
begun to cast shadows on the walls as the light
from the sky faded into
blackness. Joe rose and walked into the
bathroom and turned
on the light. He looked at his reflection and
didn't recognize the
face in the mirror. His eyes were puffy from all
the tears he shed and
his face heavy with the pain of his loss. He
turned on the water
and splashed cold water on his face the coolness
of it soothing to his
tired eyes. After drying his face he turned off
the light and walked
toward the living room. Laying his crutches
against the sofa he
spied a note on the coffee table. Sitting down he
began to read it. "Joe
we came back a few times, but you were still
asleep, so we thought
we would go home. Please call us if there is
anything you need or
if you need a friend to lean on. Signed Sav &
Phil. Joe placed the
note back on the table & felt the room begin to
close in on him.
He had to get out of
here. He felt as if he were choking. He stood
up and went to the bedroom.
Emily's presence was everywhere. He
could smell her perfume
in every corner of the house and could see
her face in every mirror
he passed. He went to the closet and took
out a large suitcase
and began to pack. After throwing some clothes
A tear escaped and landed
on the glass of the frame and he wiped it
away with his thumb.
Photos and memories were all he had left and it
was tearing him apart
that he could no longer kiss her lips when he
came home from being
on the road for days at a time and could no
longer tell her how
much he loved her and could no longer hold her
and comfort her when
she felt sad. He set the photo back on the night
stand and picked up
the suitcase and left the room turning off the
light as he went. He
felt as if he were shutting off a part of
himself as he walked
out of the house and placed his suitcase in the
trunk.
He looked one last time
at the house before getting in the car and
driving away. Joe didn't
know where he was going but it was hurting
too much to be in that
house. As much as he loved Emily he couldn't
bear to be in the house
surrounded by the memories of her that he
feared would soon fade
as time went by. He just had to go somewhere
and think. He thought
if he could clear his head he would be able to
come to terms with the
fact that Emily was gone. Joe knew it was a
lie though, although
he knew that he would never be able to accept
it, at least not now.
Sometime later he pulled into a parking lot of
a motel that had a flashing
vacancy sign. Stepping out he grabbed his
crutches and went inside
to get a room.
Joe walked up to the
counter and seeing no one around rang the buzzer
to announce his presence.
Joe smiled at the elderly gentleman that
came out of the backroom
when Joe had rang the buzzer. "Can I help
you?" The man looked
at Joe over his wire rimmed glasses smiling
briefly. "Yes, I would
like a room please. I have been driving for a
long time and need some
sleep." Joe felt the long drive catching up
with him and felt exhausted
even though he knew that sleep is the
last thing he would
be getting. "What is the name and how many nights
do you need?" The man
looked at Joe awaiting his response.
"I'm not sure yet, but
at least tonight. I will let you know if I
plan to stay longer.
The name is Joe Elliott." The man looked at him
in surprise. "Hey you're
that young man from that rock group. The one
all the ladies talk
about that come through here." Joe had to smile
at that one. This man
knowing who he was. "Yes I am in a band. Def
Leppard." The man looked
at him like he had spoken a different
language then went back
to typing in the information. After he had
checked in he drove
through town in search of a store. Pulling into
the parking lot of the
local grocery store Joe got out and began to
walk inside when he
spotted the liquor store next door.
Going inside he immediately
went over to the section where they kept
the whiskey and picked
up a half gallon of Black Velvet. After
paying for his selection
he put the bottle in the car & went inside
to get something to
eat. Joe put the food he had purchased in the
tiny refrigerator that
was in the room and sat down and opened the
bottle he had purchased.
Pouring some in a glass he downed it in
practically one drink
& poured himself another. A few minutes later
he was completely numb
from the amount of alcohol he had consumed but
it had not ceased to
ease the pain he felt in his heart. The bottle
half empty he stood
grabbing the bottle in his hand walked toward the
bathroom. Looking at
his reflection he no longer knew the man that
stared back at him,
that man no longer existed.
The man that stared back
at him had bloodshot eyes and dark circles
from the lack of sleep
that had plagued him since the night Emily
died. This reflection
also showed a man that no longer had a reason
for existing. He had
been drowning in a sea of sorrow and pain when
he met Emily and now
he was back in that ocean of pain the current
quickly pulling him
under. This time though he wasn't sure he wanted
to be rescued. Joe stood
staring at his reflection and feeling the
pain of losing Emily
consuming him.
His face contorted in
an expression of anguish as hot tears began
falling from his eyes
and running down his cheeks. His shoulders
shook as the tears spilled
fourth and landed in the sink below
trickling down to the
drain before disappearing. Wiping the tears
from his face he brought
the bottle up to his lips and drank deeply
trying to dull the pain
that went to the very core of his being. He
could feel the amber
liquid warming his throat all the way to his
stomach. He caught a
glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, but
what he saw was not
his image, but Emily staring back at him, begging
him to help her. His
hands began trembling as he tried to comprehend
what he was seeing.
"No that's not Emily. Emily is dead." He stared
at the reflection still
seeing the image of Emily in the glass. "Stop
that Joe, that is not
Emily."
He shut his eyes hoping
that when he opened them again he would once
more only see the man
that he was beginning to recognize as the man
he was becoming. A man
half empty without the only woman he ever
loved and a man that
would give anything if he could have Emily back
even if for only a day.
Joe opened his eyes and the unknown man once
again stared back at
him. Lowering the bottle from his lips he
brought his arm back
then forward releasing the bottle from his hand
sending the bottle flying
across the room. The bottle landed against
the glass and the mirror
cracked and then shattered sending glass
everywhere. Without
looking back Joe left the motel & got in the car
disappearing once more
into the darkness.
Joe screeched out of
the parking lot at a break neck speed and onto
the road sending the
car fish tailing and Joe almost lost control as
the cars
tires squealed on the pavement before finally gaining
traction. Joe gripped
the steering wheel trying not to let the car
skid off the road and
after the car was back under control he stepped
on the gas pedal and
ripped down the road his speed increasing for
every tree he passed.
Joe was oblivious to his surroundings as he
sped down the road not
knowing and not caring where he ended up.
After driving for awhile
his head began to clear a little and the
haunting image of Emily's
face in the mirror faded a little but was
still just under surface
waiting for the chance to emerge.
Joe's tears dried and
anger soon replaced it. He was angry at himself
for being the one driving
that night. He was to blame for Emily dying
and for that he would
never forgive himself. His mind was full of
what if's and guilt
for the accident that took Emily's life & he had
to get away from everyone
and everything around him. He felt as if
Joe continued pressing
his foot to the gas and fast approaching was a
sharp corner. Joe not
slowing down rounded the corner tires
screeching, and was
immediately blinded by the headlights of an
oncoming car right in
his path. Joe took his foot off the gas and
immediately started
slamming on the breaks. Joe could smell the
burning rubber of the
tires as he tried slowing the car and swerving
into the other lane
to avoid a head on collision with the oncoming
car. The other
car blaring its horn started sliding out of the
control and both cars
were heading right for each other. Joe jerked
the wheel around and
swerved out of the way just seconds before
colliding with the other
car. The back end of the car fish tailed
landing in the gravel
sending rocks flying everywhere before finally
screeching to a halt.
Joe looked up & saw before him the answer to
ending the pain
in his heart.
Sav and Phil pulled into
Joe's driveway and was surprised to see his
car gone & the house
dark. "I wonder where Joe is." Sav suddenly
felt uneasy as him and
Phil stepped out of the car and walked up to
the house. "I
don't like the looks of this Phil." Sav was about to
knock when he noticed
the door ajar. Frowning Sav and Phil stepped
inside and the house
felt deserted. "Joe, are you here buddy?" Phil
walked to the bedroom
to see if Joe was there & gasped when he saw
the room in disarray.
"Sav you better come in here. " Sav came
rushing into the room
and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the
room.
There were clothes strewn
everywhere and the bed looked as if it had
been through a
war. Blankets were crumpled up in a ball and the
sheets were coming off
the mattress. Sav looked over at the dresser
and there were clothes
hanging out of every drawer and also clothes
all over the floor.
"Oh Phil, I don't like the looks of this." Sav
went to the closet and
saw that Joe's suitcase was gone. "Phil I
wonder where the hell
he is. His suitcase is gone." Sav pointed to
the closet and Phil
peeked in and looked around. "Well where ever he
went he went in a hurry."
As they were looking around the room the
phone rang. Sav
thinking it might be Joe picked it up. "Hello." Sav
said into the phone.
"I s Mr. Elliott there?" An older man said on
the other end. "No he's
not, may I take a message?" Sav grabbed a
piece of paper to write
down the information.
Meanwhile Joe some miles
away sat looking out the window staring at
the solution to all
his problems. It would be so easy to do. All he
had to do was step on
the gas and in a split second all the pain he
felt and all the grief
that was plaguing him would be gone, but then
again so would he. He
didn't want to go on without Emily. His soul
reason for living the
past ten years died in that hospital room one
week ago. "Just
do it, no thinking just do it." Joe put the car in
gear & stepped on
the gas. Putting his foot all the way down, he
gained speed quickly
the car heading straight for the cliff just
ahead of him.
Sav's expression grew
more concerned as he listened to the man on the
phone. "I am looking
for Mr. Elliott because he was staying at my
motel and he broke a
mirror and I want him to pay for it. I am not
angry. He seems like
a nice young man but is very troubled by
something. I was in
the office when I heard a crash and I went to
check on him and he
was gone and the mirror broken." Sav began
panicking as he realized
that Joe's state of mind was worse then they
had originally thought.
"Where is your motel
located Mr. .... " Sav trailed off. "It's in
Limerick on highway
101. Turn off at the first exit and follow the
signs." Sav wrote the
information down and handed it to Phil. After
saying goodbye he hung
up and looked at Phil. "Joe is in Limerick. He
broke a mirror in his
room but he is nowhere to be found. " Phil and
Sav hurried out the
door making sure to shut it behind them and
headed for Limerick.
"I hope Joe is okay. At least physically. I
already know he is not
in a good state of mind." Phil's expression
grew grim as they drove
as fast as they could to go find their best
friend hoping he was
okay.
Joe's heart raced in
his chest as the cliff fast approached and he
gained speed. "I cannot
live without Emily. I don' t want to live
without Emily." He stepped
on the gas even more as the cliff loomed
in front of him. As
the cliff grew closer and closer he began
thinking of all the
wonderful times he and Emily shared and all the
laughter. God how he
loved her. With only seconds away from certain
death he suddenly heard
Emily's voice in his mind. "Joe please don't
do this. I know you
are hurting & I do know how much you loved me,
and I love you and I
always will. I will always be with you in your
heart and your memories.
Please Joe I am begging you don't do this. I
love you Joe." Joe suddenley
jerked the steering wheel turning it
hard sending the car
into a spin and screeching to a halt sending
clouds of smoke into
the air stopping just before the tires reached
the edge of the cliff.
He laid his head on the steering wheel and
began sobbing uncontrollably.
Sav and Phil were driving
as quickly as the slick roads would allow
scanning the road and
the sides of the road for any signs of Joe's
car as they headed toward
Limerick. "God I hope he's alright. I am
very worried about him."
Sav turned the lights on bright in hopes of
being able to see better.
"Me too buddy, but Joe is very distraught
right now. He is very
grief stricken. All we can do is be his friend
an be there for him."
Phil looked out the window into the darkness
wondering if Joe was
hurt or worse. He didn't have to tell Sav his
fears, for they were
both thinking it.
A few minutes later they
reached the outskirts of town and began
looking for the motel.
"There it is just ahead." Phil pointed out
hoping to see any sign
that Joe had returned. Pulling into the
parking lot Sav and
Phil got out and went into the office. Sav and
Phil approached the
counter Sav smiling at the man figuring he was
the one he spoke to
on the phone. "Hello, I talked to you on the
phone earlier. You called
about my buddy Joe." The man looked up from
his books to look at
Sav. "Yes, I did. I hope I didn't alarm you. I
know something must
have happened. He seems like a nice young man,
but obviously troubled."
Sav nodded. "Yes he just recently lost his
wife in a car accident.
He loved her very much. " The man's
expression became grim.
"I'm sorry to hear it. Let me show you his
room." Sav & Phil
followed him out the door wondering what they would
find.
Joe didn't know how long
he sat there the tears flowing freely down
his face as he was shaken
back to reality by what he had almost done
and by the sound of
Emily's voice begging him not to go over that
cliff. Joe raised his
head wiping the tears from his eyes and taking
a deep breath he put
the car in gear moving the car away from the
edge of the cliff and
headed back to town. He needed to clear his
head. A few minutes
later he found himself in front of a diner just
on the outskirts of
town. He sat down on the stool & ordered a cup
of coffee. He smiled
thanking the waitress that would soon become a
very important part
of his life.
Joe sat sipping his coffee
in silence as he went over in his mind
about what he had almost
done and shuddered when he realized how
close he had come to
death. He now knew how stupid it was and it also
scared him to death
that he came within inches of leaving his friends
and family forever.
He was also furious with himself for almost
taking his own life
that would have left his friends and family
grieving for him because
he was too caught up in his own grief to
realize he was hurting
not only himself but the one's he loved.
Setting the cup down
the waitress walked over giving him a refill.
Joe looked up and smiled
his thanks briefly noticing her name tag
that read Laura. "You
look like you need a friendly ear to listen. My
guess is you have lost
someone very dear to you recently. Am I
right? " Joe looked
up to her as if waking up from a trance and
seeing her for the first
time since he walked in. "Yes, as a matter
of fact. I just lost
my wife. We were in a car accident." Laura
looked down at Joe's
leg. "I thought something must have happened
when I saw the cast
on your leg." Joe's expression became solemn as
he thought back to the
night of the party and how happy he and Emily
had been that night.
"What was her name?" Laura sat the coffee pot
back in the coffee maker
and walked around the counter & sat on the
stool next to Joe's.
"Her name was Emily." Joe's hand shook making
the cup rattle against
the saucer as he tried picking up the cup.
Laura reached out her
hand gently putting her hand on his. "That's a
beautiful name. You
must have loved her very much." Joe's lip
quivered as he fought
for control. Clearing his throat he went
on. "Yes, I loved her
very much. We were married ten years." Joe
turned his head to look
at her and saw that she was looking at him
with concerned eyes
that seemed to understand what he was going
through. . "I too have
lost a loved one. My husband passed away about
two years ago. He was
on his way home when he was hit by a drunk
driver. He never saw
it coming. The man had fled the scene of a
previous accident that
he caused.
He ended up killing two
people that night, a woman and her 8 year old
daughter. The police
chasing him when he hit my husband head on."
Joe's eyes grew moist
shaking his head. "Oh god, I'm sorry. What an
awful thing to happen."
Joe sighed running his hand through his thick
mane of blonde hair.
"Thanks. I still miss him. That's something you
will always do, but
there comes a point when you move on. I am
guessing that it hasn't
been that long for you. I can see the grief
is still fresh on your
face." With the gentleness of a feather Laura
brushed his cheek with
the back of her hand wiping away the single
tear that had escaped
and run down his cheek leaving the skin wet.
"It happened a week ago."
Joe looked back at his coffee avoiding her
gaze. He felt selfish
putting his own grief on her when she suffered
as well. "I'm so sorry."
It may not seem like it now but it will get
easier. Each day it
will hurt a little less and you will heal a
little more. The most
important part is that you will always carry
her right here." I placed
my hand on his chest feeling the beating of
his heart. "I know it
will eventually get easier, but right now it
feels like the end of
the world." Joe stood and walked to the window
looking out at the night.
Laura cleared the counter of his cup
putting it in the kitchen
then went to where Joe was and stood behind
him.
"Listen I have to lock
up, is there somewhere you want to go talk?"
Joe turned to face her
smiling warmly. "Sure but I had better call my
friends first. They
are probably going out of their minds with
worry. Where's a phone
at?" Laura pointed to the corner of the
diner where there was
a pay phone. Joe walked over and put some
change in the slot and
dialed Sav's number. Not getting an answer he
tried Phil's. Reaching
his answering machine Joe left a short message
and hung up. "Hmm, there
wasn't anyone home. I guess I can try later.
I'm sorry I never introduced
myself. I'm Joe." Laura shook his
hand. "I'm Laura."
Laura
locked the door and they were just about to
leave when Sav &
Phil pulled up.
Sav & Phil got out
and came rushing over to Joe. "Thank god you're
okay Joe. We were worried
about you buddy." Sav ` expression softened
when he saw Laura standing
there. "I am sorry I worried you guys. I
guess I was so caught
up in my own self pity that I didn't stop to
think of who I was hurting.
I never meant to scare you." Joe decided
not to tell them about
what he almost did. At least not now. "The
important thing is that
you're alright." Phil patted Joe on the back
and smiled. "I'm sorry.
Phil, Sav this is Laura.. These guys are not
only great musicians,
but great friends as well." Laura reached her
hand out shaking both
of their hands. "It's nice meeting you Laura."
Phil and Sav said together.
Joe chuckled softly. "Nice meeting you
too Sav and Phil"
"Listen Joe and I were
just getting ready to go somewhere and talk.
Do you guys want to
tag along?" Sav looked at Joe and shook his
head. "We better not.
We need to get a room somewhere. I don't want
to drive back this late
in the snow." Joe nodded. "Yes not a good
idea Sav. Listen I will
call you guys in the morning and we can have
breakfast before heading
home." Phil & Sav both agreed and waved to
them as they headed
to the car. "Are you sure you're okay Joe?" Joe
waved them away grinning.
"Yes I will be fine. I will fully explain
myself tomorrow I promise."
After they had gone Joe turned to
Laura. "Shall we go?"
Laura smiled and they got in her car and headed
down the road.
Some minutes later they
pulled into a driveway and at the end of the
driveway sat an old
abandoned house. The place looked homey enough
but was run down &
weeds grew up through the wooden porch. Joe
looked at the house
then to Laura puzzled. She laughed. "This is
where I used to live
as a child. I lived here from the time I was
born to when I was 12.
After we moved out they turned it into a bed &
breakfast but the owners
went bankrupt and skipped town and it's been
abandoned ever since.
I come here a lot to think. This house means a
lot to me." Joe looked
up at the house bringing back memories of
his own childhood home.
Laura stepped out of
the car and walked around the car to where Joe
was standing. "This
is beautiful. No wonder you come out here so
often." They walked
toward the house their feet crunching in the snow
and their breath could
be seen in the chill of the air. The house was
a two story with a huge
front porch that had a big two seater wooden
swing hanging from the
porch ceiling. Joe stepped up on the porch the
stairs making a creaking
sound for every footfall. "I have always
wanted one of these
type houses. I kind of like the old style homes.
They don't make them
like this anymore." Laura walked past Joe and
pulled on the chain
of the swing to test how sturdy it was before
sitting down. The swing
made a loud squeaking sound from the sudden
weight and she patted
the seat beside her.
"Come sit with me. I
want to hear all about Emily and how you came to
love her." Joe's expression
clouded briefly and he walked over & sat
down beside her. "I
don't want to burden you with my problems Laura.
I feel bad enough putting
all that on you earlier when it's obvious
you have suffered a
great deal." Laura smiled knowingly and took
Joe's hand in hers.
"Joe you are not burdening me. I want you to
tell me because I know
it will help you feel better and it will also
help you begin to heal.
Sometimes it's best to get everything out in
the open so the healing
process can begin. Now I will listen and you
talk." Laura gave him
a look that told him he wasn't going to get off
that easily. Joe sighed
not knowing where to begin.
"Well I first met her
going on eleven years ago in LA. We had just
pulled into our next
gig and I was getting off the bus and I didn't
see her standing there
and ran right into her. When I bumped into
her she dropped her
camera and it fell to the ground shattering
instantly. I felt awful.
I replaced her camera immediately. I knew
then that she was the
woman I wanted to marry." Laura sat back
listening as Joe told
his story & held his hand in hers as all the
pain he felt in his
heart poured out into his words till he sat back
in the swing feeling
emotionally drained.
"Emily sounds like she
was a wonderful person." Joe looked at this
woman that he had never
met before tonight suddenly feeling like he
had known her his whole
life. She knew what he was going through and
understood his pain.
Sav Phil and the rest of the guys knew he was in
pain but couldn't relate
to it the way Laura has. "Yes she was. I had
never known anyone like
her. She was my life. My life before I met
her all became a blur
as if I hadn't existed. I felt as if I only
existed through her
and if I had ever lost her I would cease to
exist. I suppose that
sounds silly but I had never known love like
that could happen."
Joe looked into Laura's eyes and saw that she was
crying.
"I'm sorry. I knew I
shouldn't have burdened you. I've made you cry."
Joe took his thumb and
wiped the tears from her eyes. "Don't be sorry
Joe. The reason I am
crying is because I have never met anyone that
expressed himself the
way you do and never knew anyone who's love ran
as deep as yours. You
are truly pure of heart and that is a rare
quality Joe. Never be
ashamed of that and never regret that." Laura
reached out running
her hand along side his face smiling at the
softness she saw in
his eyes the kindness of his expression when he
spoke of Emily.
"Thanks. I will remember
that. I would like to hear about you. You
have listened to me,
now I am offering to listen to you. Tell me all
about your husband.
The way you speak of him he sounds like you were
very much in love with
him." Laura sighed looking out into the night
then back to him. "Perhaps
one day I will Joe but tonight is your
night and I am not going
to let you listen to my problems when your
pain is so much fresher.
This is your time and I am not going to tell
you my problems. What
do you say we make a pact?" Joe curious turned
to listen to her giving
her his undivided attention. "Let's make a
pact to come out here
every week if we can and share our stories and
heartaches. We will
be each others sounding boards. Joe looked at her
in surprise and smiled.
"That sounds good." They talked till the
sun rose over the horizon
& the shadows of the night disappeared.
The snow sparkled in
the morning sun making everything bright and
beautiful. "Well I haven't
stayed up all night since I was a
teenager." Laura said
laughing. "Yes me either." Joe looked at his
watch and saw it was
just a little past six. "Well we should probably
go. I am due to meet
Sav and Phil in about an hour." Joe stood and
offered his hand to
Laura to help her up. "Okay, I need to go to the
diner and open up anyway."
Laura pulled into the parking lot of the
diner and Joe looked
at it with renewed interest. "Amazing how
different everything
looks in the light of day. I feel like I have
woken from a long sleep.
It feels great to wake up and finally see
how beautiful everything
is." Laura put her arms around Joe in a hug
and stood back smiling
at him.
"Well you better go or
Sav and Phil will send out the National Guard
for you." Joe laughed
nodding his head. "You are probably right.
Knowing Sav he would.
He's a good friend. Okay I will talk to you
later than." Joe kissed
her on the cheek then got in his car to go
meet Sav and Phil. When
he pulled into town he saw Sav's car in the
parking lot of the restaurant
they had agreed to meet at and he
pulled in beside him
and locked the door before entering the
restaurant.
Joe spotting Sav in the
corner of the restaurant walked up to the
booth. "Joe good to
see you buddie. Phil will be back in a minute. He
went to call the rest
of the guys to tell them we found you." Joe
shook his head chuckling.
"I had no idea I worried so many people. I
am sorry I put you guys
through that, but I am okay now." Sav smiled
sipping his coffee blowing
on it as it was still a little bit
hot. "It's okay Joe.
We know you have been in a lot of pain, but next
time don't be afraid
to come to us. We are always here for you." Joe
smiled gratefully. "Hey
Joe. Glad you made it. I have called everyone
and they said to tell
you that they are happy to know you are
alright." Joe looked
up to see Phil standing beside him. "That's good
Phil. I never meant
to scare any of you. I realize now how much I
was hurting everyone."
Joe took a deep breath & started telling them
everything.
"Well after you guys
had left I didn't wake up till several hours
later. No matter what
I did, I could see Emily every where. It was
just so painful to be
in that house. I felt the walls closing in on
me. I had to get out.
I just got in the car and started driving. I
thought by getting away
from the house I could escape the pain. Next
thing I knew I was in
Limerick and was at the motel. I then drove to
the store to get something
to eat and ended up going to the liquor
store. I started slamming
down the drinks one after another. Then
that's when I broke
the mirror and left. I was drunk and I was
hurting. Now I will
tell you the worst most painful part." Joe took a
deep breath and sipped
the coffee before continuing.
"I was driving not having
any idea at all where I was going and not
really caring. I was
driving around the corner driving a little too
fast when out of nowhere
there was a car. I almost didn't swerve in
time. Then I was sitting
on the side of the road when it completely
hit me. I no longer
wanted to live without Emily. I just put the car
in gear and stepped
on the gas. I was going to drive off the cliff
and end my pain and
suffering." Joe looked at Phil & Sav to guage
their reactions. "Oh
god Joe, I am so glad you didn't. I am so sorry
you were in so much
pain." Sav looked at Joe with concern as well as
sadness for his friend
who was hurting so much. "At the last minute
I could hear Emily's
voice in my head telling me how much she loved
me and begging me not
to do it. At the last minute I swerved and was
able to stop before
going over the edge." Phil ran his hand over his
face as he absorbed
what Joe had just told them not believing that he
had come so close to
death.
"Thank god you're alright.
Oh and if you ever try anything like that
again. I will personally
kick your ass." The three of them broke into
laughter easing the
tension somewhat. "After I had sat there awhile
telling myself how stupid
that was I drove back to town and that's
when I met Laura. I
had never met her before last night but it feels
as if I have known her
my whole life." Joe said smiling warmly.
"I am glad you found
someone you can talk to Joe. She seems like a
very nice lady. Sounds
like she may be the one that you will be able
to turn to in your time
of need." Joe nodded his head. "Yes I believe
so Phil. I am going
to meet her later. She took me out to this
incredible place last
night. It was a house she grew up in. The place
is abandoned now but
she holds a special place in her heart for it. I
am sorry guys if I have
ever shut you out. I know that you guys are
always there for me
and if I screwed that up in anyway I am sorry."
Sav patted is arm. "It's
okay Mate, we know you were in pain so
don't worry about it."
Joe smiled gratefully. "Listen I am going to
go meet Laura now. I
will catch up with you later." Sav and Phil
exchanged concerned
glances & looked at Joe. "Hey I will be fine I
promise. I will be home
either tomorrow or the next day. Please tell
Rick, & Viv that
everything is fine now. For the first time since
Emily died I feel as
if it really will be. Take care guys." Joe waved
and got in the car to
go meet Laura.
Joe pulled into the diner
some minutes later and got out and opened
the door to the diner
to see Laura was busy filling all the sugar
containers. "Hi. Can
I be of service Miss?" Laura not expecting Joe
dropped the bag of sugar
onto the floor spilling sugar
everywhere. "God Joe
you scared me. Not nice to sneak up on someone."
Laura gave him a stern
look but upon seeing his face she immediately
softened her expression.
"Here let me help you clean that up." Joe
stepped into the kitchen
in search of a broom. After the sugar had
been swept up Joe helped
Laura complete her chores for the diner then
they locked up and went
for a drive.
They spent the rest of
the day going to some of Laura's favorite
little shops & having
lunch at a little roadside café. After lunch
they drove to her special
place that they now come to about every
other day & spend
hours talking sometimes serious & others about
nothing in particular
just enjoying each others company.
The next few months began
to come a little easier for Joe as he began
to pick up the pieces
of his life and was moving forward. Emily was
still always the first
thing Joe thought of when he went to sleep and
when he woke.
In the eight months since Emily's death Joe and the
guys had gone back into
the studio to record the new album that was
set to be released in
July. Joe and the rest of the guys dedicated
the new album in Emily's
memory. Joe had even written a new song
after her called Heaven
in Your Eyes. They recorded it but left it
off the album only singing
it in the privacy of his studio sometimes
in the middle of the
night when he was awoken by haunting memories of
that fateful night eight
months ago.
It was his song to her
and he always sang it alone because it was his
way of always keeping
her closest to his heart and he felt as if she
were there with him
when the words and music rang out in the
quietness of the studio.
Laura had been a godsend to him. When Joe
felt the pain engulf
him she was always there and they would drive
out to the place she
first took him when they met. The house has
long since been torn
down but they would take a picnic basket and a
blanket out there enjoying
the summer weather sometimes with no words
just two friends going
out for lunch. The next tour was due to start
in a month and Joe and
the guys had been booked for the next 18
months with dates all
over the United States including Europe.
Joe had come to a decision
when they pulled into the parking lot of
the venue where he had
met Emily almost 12 years ago that he was
going to play Emily's
song. It would be the first time and the last
he would ever sing it
in public. He wanted to do it as a remembrance
and to lay to rest the
ghosts that had haunted him the first six
months since he lost
Emily. "You okay mate?" Sav asked as they got
ready to depart the
bus. "Yes Sav I am fine. Thanks for your concern
buddy. All of you have
helped me so much by being there for me. I
don't know what I would
have done without you." Joe clapped Sav on
the shoulder & headed
to the arena.
The moment Joe stepped
off the bus he paused flashing back to the
day they met and he
momentarily expected her to be there camera in
hand bumping into
her sending her camera crashing to the ground. Joe
smiled and Phil came
up beside him clapping him on the back. "You
ready to knock them
dead?" Joe nodded and followed Phil into the
arena. The concert was
a sellout & when Joe took the stage he had the
audience captivated
when he went into Emily's song and a brief pause
of silence before the
crowd roared with applause the vibrations
echoing throughout the
amphitheater. As they left for the next venue
Joe for the first time
since Emily's death, he felt a sense of peace
& was finally able
to repair the Cracks in the Mirror.
~The End~
in the suitcase he looked
around the room one more time and his eyes
fell upon their wedding
photo. Picking it up he ran his hand across
her image and felt the
tears welling up as he stared at the photo.
Emily looked so beautiful
that day. He had felt like the luckiest man
in the world the day
he married her.
the eyes of everyone
that knew Emily were burning into him blaming
him for her loss.
Joe lost in his pain felt blind and he was in a
unfamiliar place stumbling
over everything in his path.
( ONE MONTH LATER)
The first date of the
tour would be the hardest for Joe since it was
the same venue where
he had met Emily all those years ago but also
the most memorable for
if not for Malvin booking that one extra date
he wouldn't have met
the love of his life. So now with only two days
till the start of the
tour Phil, Sav and the rest of the guys
frantically rehearsed
ten to twelve hours a day to perfect the new
songs that they were
promoting this tour. Joe packed up his suitcase
and helped Phil and
Sav load the equipment they needed onto the tour
bus and then they were
ready to go. Laura had come to say goodbye
with a promise to come
see them in one month.