Paradoxes of Christian Teachings
The Parable of the Debtor
This is one of the favorite parables of Christians. The parable goes like this:
Imagine that there are two men, both owe rent to their landlord. the first owes the landlord $200, while the second owes the landlord $500. Now, if the landlord decides to waive off their debts, who will be more greatful?
The punchline is that the one who owes more money is supposed to be more greatful. the moral of the parable is that Christians should try to convert heavy sinners, because when they are pardoned they will be most grateful.
I argue that parables are philosophy by seduction. We are given one narrow example which is tailored fit and asked to make a broad conclusion from it. Parables, when thaught exclusively, are the idiot's guide to teaching morality. Let us trouble this parable.
Well suppose that the man who owed the $500 dollars was Bill Gates. He would just shrug his shoulders when the debt is lifted. Suppose that the person who owed $500 had an ongoing debt with the other man to see who could owe the most rent before getting kicked out. Let me offer you another parable: the debt was lifted and neither of the men cared.
My point is that teaching in parables is fool's gold. You make your hypothetical situation, I can make my own directly in contrast with yours. Do not try to seduce my reason with your false dilemmas! Give me pure logical reason instead. Save your bed time stories for the pre-schoolers.
The Sheep Methapor
Christians love this one. They exclaim "the Lord is my sheppard! he leads me away from the wrong path, takes care of me, etc etc." I always laugh, how awkward are their methapors. It is odd, sure the Lord is their sheppard. But do you know what happens when the sheep are fattened up?
The sheppard eats them!!!
Do Unto Others
Christian cite this quote claiming that it shows Jesus's genius. they remark that Jesus took the rule of "don't do unto others as you would not have them do unto you" and made it into a positive statement by saying "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
I think Christians have more than lived up to this, in fact they have greatly perverted it. The odd thing is that after being persecuted for quite a bit before Rome acknowledged Christianity, Christians then invoked their beloved principle. They did unto others what had been done unto them: They persecuted many peoples for centuries.
And If the Blind Follow the Blind
This is my favorite quote from scripture. Jesus said " and if the blind follow the blind, both shall fall into a ditch." Christians happily agree with this and say that it applies to everybody else. I think the following story shows that they are wrong.
I was once debating a christian over the falliblilty of the Bible (?). I explained to them what I believed to be a contradiction in the Bible. This believer could not refute my claims. They simply said: "I know that it is true in my heart." I know that in my heart the earth is flat, therefore the earth must be flat, isn't it? The eyes of reason cannot see, it might be said, but the eyes of the heart do. Bullcrap. Reason, no matter how long it takes it, will eventually lead us to the truth. Faith can never be certain, it is a blind dart throw. Christians claim that where reason and faith contradict, reason must be discarded. In effect, you should blind yourself. Jesus teaches that if your eye causes you to sin, then pluck it. I think he would agree that if your mind causes you to sin then pluck it too. I say pluck him.
Christians are not so much taught that there are no contradictions in the Bible as much as they are taught to FEAR the Bible having any contradictions. They are taught that IF the Bible has any contradictions, THEN God does not exist. So they think: the Bible can't have any contradictions or else God will not exist. Its the classic appeal to force fallacy. And so, they close their minds to any reasonable arguments.
It is for this reason that ardent Christians are seldom converted after they have come of age. They have been disciplined to turn off their minds. To flee from sin rather than to try to resist it as Paul teaches. If you reason with them, they become blind. If you reason with their leaders, they in turn become blind.
but remember, if the blind follow the blind both shall fall into a ditch.
Conclusion
Analyzing Christianity is a fun endeavor. You never know what they'll come up with next! Its especially fun hearing one debate against Mormonism. How do Mormons know their word is inspired? they ask. I say, for the same reason you know your is. The conclusion escapes them, but for those that are not mind-impaired it is obvious.
