By Nick VDA He came. He saw. He scored. Three times. Never in the field of Leopards football has one man flown so far and scored so many. Prior to Thursday's game, there had been rumours of a Leopards' "striking crisis". With two former award-winning strikers plying their trade in the US, and their "midfield general" (who we know regularly contributes goals from his all-too-secure slot in central midfield) out with a sore shoulder following his rapacious antics in Cambridge, it was hard for the Leopards to anticipate where the goals were coming from. With a sense of timing clearly learnt from the US cavalry, the Leopards' former no. 10 arrived to help put the Fowlers to the sword. The match started in typical Leopards fashion - with 9 men and big Stevo making frantic phone calls from the sideline (in fact contributing far more towards a Leopards' victory than he ever has done on the pitch). With the careworn experience of Paddy "spring chicken" Inglis and Ethan "you're only as old as you feel" Kline marshalling the defence and midfield respectively, the Leopards concentrated on repelling the Fowlers' persistent attacks. For ten minutes the Leopards held firm, and were then encouraged by the sight of Heneage arriving - the first of Big Stevo's last minute recruits. We continued to be encouraged as Heneage began a lengthy warm-up, beginning with his eyebrow muscles. We then became frustrated as ten minutes later he moved onto the muscles that control his earlobes (as he told us later, there are over 50 muscles in the face alone). Finally we became angry, as he somewhat idly began stretching his neck. But still the defence held firm - our nine were more than a match for their eleven, the only question was would we ever find out how good our ten were? Finally Heneage entered the fray and answered the question with his second touch - firing a low right foot shot into the bottom right from 20 yards. With ten men, it became a more even game, with the Leopards enjoying their share of possession. The more attack-minded players started to play more of a role: Irvin showed glimpses of the wing-wizardry that was to baffle the Fowlers in the 2nd half, and Nick was allowed to cross the half-way line by Ethan. These two then combined to put Ethan through on the keeper, and watched as the former Captain of his US College side coolly chipped the ball into the net. Meanwhile, Dave Legg, the second of Big Stevo's last minute recruits, had arrived, but having learnt from the Heneage experience, and remembering that Heneage and Dave had met at Oxford playing football, our hopes were raised only as far as wondering whether he might play a part in the latter stages of the 2nd half. In fact, so distracting were Dave's complex exercises that our mesmerised defence allowed the Fowlers to waltz through, and pull one back. Halftime came, and with it the usual words of encouragement from Paddy, this time accompanied by the gleeful, disbelieving tones of one who has forgotten what its feels like to be up at halftime. We began the second half with eleven and, for the first time, there was fear in the Fowlers' eyes. As the defender who was marking me said at the end, we gave them a footballing lesson. First Irvin broke clear before putting a world class cross on Nick vdA's right foot five yards out at the far post. The quality of the cross was only matched by the look of shock and horror on Irvin's face as Nick managed to miss the ball completely. But five minutes later he made amends: the now very warmed up Heneage and Dave combined to send him through on the keeper, and he calmly slotted the ball between the keeper's legs and into the empty net. This clearly encouraged Irvin, as shortly afterwards - sent clear by William - he took it to the byline, and picked Nick out at the nearpost. One touch (left foot, William) was all the four times golden boot winner needed, and it was 4 - 1. By now the Leopards were dominant all over the park. Our defence was outstanding, based on the rock that is/was Ned's goalkeeping. Ethan and Heneage were excellent in midfield, and Dave brought an extra ingredient to Leopards forward play (upper body strength + [please fill in]). Sadly, complacency set in, and from a harmless freekick, the Fowlers pulled another back. As William pointed out, some of the older Lepoards had not put their hearing aids in that day, and had not heard our keeper's instructions. Meanwhile, Big Stevo was doing on the touchline what he does so successfully on the pitch - being outwitted. Time and again he fell for the Fowlers' manager's jokes. But this was to be the Leopards' day: Irvin broke forward again, found Dave Legg, who again unselfishly put Nick through. The hatrick was a formality. Enough time remained for James to use every part of his anatomy to find the back of the net (again from a cross by Irvin), to give a final score of 6- 2. So the Leopards find their feet and notch the first win of a hopefully successful season. The only remaining and unanswered question is how many trips NvdA will need to make this year to secure the golden boot?he ball completely. But five minutes later he made amends: the now very warmed up Heneage and Dave combined to send him through on the keeper, and he calmly slotted the ball between the keeper's legs and into the empty net. This clearly encouraged Irvin, as shortly afterwards - sent clear by William - he took it to the byline, and picked Nick out at the nearpost. One touch (left foot, William) was all the four times golden boot winner needed, and it was 4 - 1. By now the Leopards were dominant all over the park. Our defence was outstanding, based on the rock that is/was Ned's goalkeeping. Ethan and Heneage were excellent in midfield, and Dave brought an extra ingredient to Leopards forward play (upper body strength + ability). Sadly, complacency set in, and from a harmless freekick, the Fowlers pulled another back. As William pointed out, some of the older Lepoards had not put their hearing aids in that day, and had not heard our keeper's instructions. Meanwhile, Big Stevo was doing on the touchline what he does so successfully on the pitch - being outwitted. Time and again he fell for the Fowlers' manager's jokes. Perhaps Alex laughed along a little too jovially, as it was not long before his mental master posed an unexpected question: "er..I'm not sure how to put this, but there's a rumour going around the league....is it true that the Leopards are a gay team?". This, Alex assures us, was not a joke, though doubtless anyone listening would have been pissing themselves as Alex gave his faltering answer. But this was to be the Leopards' day: Irvin broke forward again, found Dave Legg, who again unselfishly put Nick through. The hatrick was a formality. Enough time remained for James to use every part of his anatomy to find the back of the net (again from a cross by Irvin), to give a final score of 6- 2. So the Leopards find their feet and notch the first win of a hopefully successful season. The only remaining and unanswered question is how many trips NvdA will need to make this year to secure the golden boot? |