General comment: Score!
Mark: C
Player most like: Jason Lee (without quite as good a haircut)
B. Crewe: I wasn�t there for Ben�s wonder goal, but congratulations. A regular player for the Leopards this year, Ben has demonstrated his sound defensive abilities, as well as a superb, �crewe� cut. Last year I lambasted his capacity to get forward, and I�m pleased to say it seems my words have hit the spot as is heart stopping forays into the opponents half are now a regular feature. In fact the moment he steps into that uncharted area that is the opposition�s half, gentle Ben, the attackers friend becomes Crazy Crewe, makes the defenders poo.
General comment: Good, although crossing from the byline is proving far too much of a rarity.
Mark: B-
Player most like: Silvinho (too obvious)
M. Morris: Having not been there to witness Michael�s heroics in the third match of the LT Chips trilogy, I find it difficult to write his report. Thus his report will go upon a very different line, namely trying to work out a new nickname. With Schmeichel having retired from the English game, �Michael Schmeichel� no long seems appropriate. Several thoughts have gone through the mind, Michael �Dan Garrod�s� saviour closely followed by, Michael, �Ed Fenn-Smith�s� saviour were very near to the top of the list, however they were beaten into 2nd and 3rd places by, wait for it, Eminem. The line, �you don�t want to fuck with Shady, cos Shady will fucking kill you,� is yet to be heard on one on ones, but why not?
General comment: From what I�ve heard, Eminem has had some fine matches
Mark: B
Player most like: Richard Wright (an esteemed honour)
R. Coltart: The scourge of Nick VDA, Rupert�s scoring record is extremely impressive. However, what I�d like to talk about is penalties, and more specifically, how to take them. Attempting to gain kudos from your team-mates by smashing your penalty top left, sending the keeper the wrong way and then wheeling round and jumping into the crowd is fine, but familiar? I don�t think so. Slicing your penalty, which somehow manages to get just as far as the goal line only to hit the crossbar and bounce over, is far more Rupert�s style, especially in a six-pointer.
General comment: Really good season, only marred by one, how shall we put it, unfortunate incident.
Mark: A
Player most like: Gareth Southgate/Stuart Pearce/David Batty
M. Larkin: Almost an ever present, Mark has had a really good season. It would be an exaggeration to say that he was a natural finisher, showing the emotions in front of goal one would suspect Nicole Kidman to feel on seeing Penelope Cruz have a baby, except of course in his own area, where he shows the emotions expected of Cilla seeing her deceased husband Bobby. No-one will forget the bullet header that led to a fantastic own-goal against the Fowlers.
General comment: Excellent season, although lack of penetration going down the left is limiting options.
Mark: B
Player most like: Les Ferdinand facing the wrong way.
