A tribute to Paddy
The wizard of the touchline
While there is no question that mistakes have been made in this calamitous season (the failure to secure short-term replacements for Brooke and van den Arend as goal-scoring machines springs to mind), at times like these it is important to remember what Patrick "honestly, I'm not that old" Inglis has done for the Leopards.  It seems like several years ago that he began playing, and getting injured, for the Leopards - indeed he scored the Leopards very first goal, five minutes after pulling our first collective hamstring. 

He was the first Leopards manager to figure out that email might mean not having to 'phone round furiously on a saturday morning having to secure the one-time striking services of William's best mates' cousins' pen pal (who happened to be visiting London from Rio). He was also the first Leopards manager to guide the club unerringly to a championship and promotion.  And let's not forget, he was the first (and last) Leopard ever to turn up to a game in the depths of the East End in leather trousers, driving a 60s Triumph convertible.

I would like to say something about his footballing prowess, but sadly it's several years since I last saw him play (but apparently his family has some b&w cine film of him playing for Trinity in the seventies).  In any case, his footballing ability was always left gloriously in the shade by his unbelievable wardrobe.

For me personally, this is a very sad day.  Firstly, it means that to secure my place on the starting sheet, I'm now going to have to change tack and be nice to Ricky B and Ethan (who incidentally are two of the coolest and funniest people on the planet - Ricky B hasn't got a nasty bone in his body).   Secondly, it appears that like Ipswich, the Leopards will be playing first division football next year.  However, as David Sheepshanks recently said about the Town, the Leopards FC hasnever been in better shape.  Thanks to Paddy, we have a very long email
list, a referee we can always call on, and a pitch on which to play. Riches indeed.

Without doubt, he can retire as captain with his head held high with our profound thanks, knowing that not only he has gone down in history as the most successful Leopards manager so far (and what legends preceded him!), but also that he has given us immense amusement by donning garments not seen on a manager since the glory days of Malcolm Allison in the seventies.  If Beckenbauer was "the  Kaiser", then Patrick Inglis is "the clotheshorse".

May the reign of Bryant and Kline be both as successful and as aartorially stupid.
From Nick VDA
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