It should be clear by now where my argument is heading. The left-footed midfielder has until recently been an object of some suspicion, tolerated out of necessity but never really welcomed into the midfield fold. Small things - a sidewood glance in th changing-room, a neglected easy square ball, the regular failure to wash only the No 11 jersey with consequent decomposition of the armpits - have until now been the currency of the Leftie's everyday life.
But times are changing; a fresh wind blows through the stale recesses of the football establishment. There is a new player in town (Para 3 - and still no word of Les) and his magic boots sing a tune that demands to be listened to. Those of the public lucky enough to have seen the Leopard's winger in action will have witnessed a transformation of the left touchline from a cul-de-sac of frustration into a footballing freeway - junction one on the edge of the Leopards' six-yard box all the way to junction six at the back of the opposition net, via a kind of Newport Pagnell service station known as the central midfield. His tricks and manoevres have so far defied the concerted analysis of the scientific community. Whatever laws his charmed feet obey they are certainly not those of classical physics. A group in MIT are even arguing that in this winger we have finally found a macroscopic manifestation of the bizarre and counter-intuitive laws of quantum physics, the holy grail of 21st century science. Others claim that the explanantion is more straightforward - good old-fashioned sorcery. Whichever camp you fall into, the effect on many an unfortunate right-back is pure fear.
To many the scent of change will not be a welcome one. The powerful right and centre-right lobbies have plenty of vested interests around the centre circle, and such raw talent is bound to put a few less brilliant noses out of joint. However Rome was not built in a day and histroy teaches us that such barriers tend to crumble in time in the face of reaason. So let us celebrate the renaissance of the left and perhaps by our support of the left-footed miracle even make our own small contribution to the cause of the inevitable winner - progress.
Olando Swayne: I always like to leave Les's report to last, don't ask me why. As I have mentioned in end of year reports before, I very much feel that Les has been on this learning curve, getting off the Physics and on to the Football. Les has now left this curve and is on the road to becoming a fully active member of the Leopards squad. He has scored one of the goals of the season and is now learning to pass the way you are facing. He does still have a slight problem with heading, who can forget does legendary squats followed by a leap into the air, only to find that the ball has gone past him.
Mark: B-