Jonathan Luff

     Signed from upper no-hopers Westminster Celtic during the close season, Luffy was a bit of a gamble on behalf of the gaffer. On hearing of the transfer, referees around the Thames League organised root canal work in order to avoid a vocal mauling from the pint-sized cider drinker. Regulations were scoured for a basis on which to exclude player imports from the West Country, but Thames league bylaws, the Bosman ruling and the Locarno treaty fell unforgivably silent on the matter.
Luffie was in!
       Demonstrating an uncanny ability to  be able to talk a big game without actually playing one, Luffie found himself an instant hit with the fans, and was awarded a regular starting place, despite his teammates finding him totally incomprehensible.
      Next year Luffie departs the leopards after an unpopular decision by the board to flog him to Egyptian giants Allah F.C., but Luffie insists he will have fond memories of the Leopards. In an exluisive interview with Vogue (see April 2109 edition) luffie said, 'arrr, i tell ee, s'been furkin marrvellous...drink up ye cider. Vogue have issued a statement asking a west country farmer to translate

Luckily for Luffy, Allah United have agreed to build a replica west country for him