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| Barney: Acting as translator throughout the trip, it was with some surprise that Barney told us that all the locals had called him our best player. Our surprise was only alleviated when we saw Barney escorting the locals back to their cars and chastising the forgetful guide dogs. He was brilliant in organising the tour, and his play on the pitch, with several important goals, complimented his ambassadorial abilities expertly. Duncan�s rock like qualities manifest themselves in many additional ways to his physical resemblance to Diana�s former butler. His presence unsettled the continental opponents on more than one occasion, and he can show a surprising turn of pace for a big fella � solid throughout, despite his penalty miss in the semis, he also remains perhaps the only player ever to be complimented on his football abilities by David�s father. His enthusiasm for integrating with the locals, particularly those of the fairer sex endeared himself to our hosts, though unfortunately for him, his much repeated catchphrase �they don�t like it up�em� applied in equal measure to both the male and female frenchies he encountered over the weekend. David has many qualities as a football player � most admired for his long throw, (which was loudly cheered by all the spectators when it was unveiled to immediate effect in our second game), his tough competitive edge (his shirt, torn in disgust in the final may disagree with me on this one), and his goal-scoring ability (to my dismay he ended the tournament with the golden boot) stand out, but for us his most valuable asset on this tour was his superb series of saves in the penalty shoot out in the semi finals and the quarter finals. However, there is one area of his game, which sadly rather lets him down. David can and must learn from our continental hosts, that before he can consider himself the complete article, he needs to work harder on his pre and post match consumption of beer. Goal of the Tournament � a cracking drive from 20 yards out whilst being chopped down which resulted in a goal and a red card simultaneously. Andy: The Leopard with the worst disciplinary record selected for the tour, Andy was exemplary on and off the pitch. His work rate and pitch coverage was outstanding and much commented on by the old French codgers on the touchline. Many of the local flair players were thrown out of their stride by his jeu de pressing. Always willing, it�s a joy to have Andy on the pitch with you, especially when your legs are starting to wilt in the heat. Although his distribution of the ball is one area that could perhaps use some work, he also distinguished himself by bringing a pair of loyal leopard supporters to cheer us on. Tim�s command of the French language, and friendly and easy going manner greatly helped the leopards in their mission to win not only a trophy or two but also the hearts and minds of the hosts. His car, as well as his body, were pushed to the limits by the physical exertions of the tour, and his wise head and advice was invaluable in the pre tournament selection committee. Highlight of the tour � Tim announcing that he owned a house in Normandy, seconds after one of the locals had been loudly bemoaning the fact that the putain d�anglais were buying up houses in Northern France and ruining the country. Lowlight of the tour � two penalties in two minutes, Tim takes over from Andy as the Leopard with the worst disciplinary record, even though he didn�t get booked. Wills, drafted in at late notice as our secret weapon and as our flair player in the number 11 shirt, delighted the locals with his close control and ability with the ball at the feet, and was certainly the favourite leopard with the French players and fans, though a crueller man than I would suggest that this is mainly because �prince arry� as he quickly became known, most closely resembled our continental hosts (ie, would never beat a man just once, when twice would do, and was easy to knock off his feet in the penalty area, but terrifically hard to knock off the ball and his feet outside the area) Tour Highlights - Being chased to the halfway line by Abdul, the 6 foot 2 tall hard man from Zodiaque, cursing him and his family (his mother got a number of particularly vitriolic mentions, which shall remain untranslated), having been wrestled to the ground by the keeper and winning a penalty to keep us the quarter finals. Nodding in a header from David�s long throw to the delight of the beery crowd in our epic 6-3 win on the first day. 100% record in the penalty shoot out. Wills can be proud of his contribution to the tour, though his finishing off the pitch needs some work, as he was unable to convert a simple opportunity when introduced as prince harry to princess stephanie � you don�t get many more open goals than than this�. Charles (pronounce the French way) : Unflappable under pressure, Charles frequently found himself in situations where a lesser man would be thrown off kilter � unfazed when the groundsman confidentially imparted the knowledge that French television was overrun by Jews and that the nazis had it right, he also turned in a number of unruffled defensive performances, though he did manage to fluff his potential moment of glory with, what proved ultimately to be an unimportant penalty miss. We won�t be too harsh on him though � even the best strikers occasionally fail to convert crucial semi final penalties. He bridged the gap between youth and experience in the team, and managed to come up with a beast of a car, without which we would have been stuck. Top marks to Charles. Paddy: The elder statesman and most senior leopard of the tour, Paddy somehow managed to finish the tournament with a negative goal difference, (For one, against two) though his calm penalty in front of a baying local crowd to put out the hosts ranks as a redemptive moment alongside Stuart Pearce and his penalty against Spain (sadly absent the pumping of arms). Paddy shackled some very tall and very quick and skilful opposition throughout the tournament, and his confidence in defence inspired his teammates and manager. His voluble presence unsettled opponents, referees and the crowds alike. His previous experience as manager and his suggestions with regards to formation and team selection gave us an edge which we didn�t relinquish until the final. Highlight of the tour � right foot flashing volley that left the keeper with no chance with the score at 2-1 with seconds to go in the quarter final. Lowlight of the tour - right foot flashing volley that left the keeper with no chance with the score at 2-1 with seconds to go in the quarter final. Rob was selected, dropped and re-selected in the space of 10 minutes on Friday morning, and must be commended for his ability to drop everything and come on a weekend tour to France at literally a half-hour�s notice. He�s quite good at football too, and played extremely well in defence � very strong in the air and calm on the ball, his only weakness was supposed to be his finishing, but this was disproved by his ability in the penalty shoot out competition, as the longest lasting leopard. Rather unfairly, his miss is immortalised on video, which we will post to the Leopards site and replay endlessly until he has a Paddy Inglis moment. For all round contribution and consistent high standard of play, Rob gets my vote for Leopards player of the tournament. The Team The team was admired for many things over the weekend by the veterans of the AGSA football club � distribution de ball, fitness levels, work rate, fair play (unanimous vote from the referees for us), kit, French speaking ability, and generally all round good behaviour, but perhaps the most fitting tribute was when I attempted to introduce a pair of attractive young ladies to the team on Saturday night. The exchange went something like this Me � �Would you like to come and meet the team�? Them � Dissolve into uncontrollable fits of giggles for about five minutes�.�non merci�. |