Sunday Morning Sermon

Preached by John Gaines at Leonard Street Church of Christ

June 15, 2003

1. Text: Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV) And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Fathers have a God-given responsibility to bring up their children in the right way.

2. It's tough to be a man in today's world.

a. Movies, television, and other media have few groups left about which they feel free to ridicule. They don't dare ridicule ethnic or racial minorities. They would get themselves in hot water by perpetuating stereotypes of women. They must be careful not to offend this or that special interest group. But men are still easy targets. The stereotypical man is portrayed as primitive, dumb, abusive, incompetent, unreliable. If you judged all men by what you see in the media, you might be excused for thinking we should all be locked up and the key thrown away.

b. Obviously, there are some men who deserve all the criticism they get.

(1) Violent abusers of wives and children

(2) Deadbeat dads who refuse to support their families.

c. The actions of a few should not reflect on the character of all men. Men have a very important role given them by God as leaders of their families. Think with me about the four "L's" of being a father.

I. FATHERS SHOULD GIVE THEIR CHILDREN LOVE.

A. Love causes us to want what is best for our children. [Proverbs 3:11-12 (NKJV) My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.]

B. Love causes us to discipline our children [Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV) He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.]

1. It's obviously easier to let children misbehave and not attempt to impose discipline on them. Conflict is avoided and few parents enjoy shouting matches with their children.

2. However, a father's failure to discipline his children shows HATRED rather than love. Children need discipline and control whether they want it or not.

3. Our babies cry when we taken them to the doctor or the health department for immunizations. But we subject them to the pain of a shot because it will keep them from getting measles, mumps, polio, or some other disease. Good parents must do some unpleasant things to their children for the good of the children.

C. Love causes punishment to be tempered with mercy.

1. Old cartoon of father whipping his son, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." I don't know whether or not that is true, but it ought to hurt a father to have to punish his child.

2. Legend of Greek king who decreed that thieves should have eyes burned out. His son was caught stealing. Justice demanded a price; love demanded mercy. The king had one of his son's eyes burned and one of his own. That's a fine illustration of grace. Fathers need to show grace in their dealings with their children.

3. When we love our children, we know how they feel. We understand the frustrations our children feel as they deal with the problems of growing up. We don't let them get away with bad behavior, but we mix tender affection with strictness as we bring them up in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

II. FATHERS SHOULD GIVE THEIR CHILDREN LEADERSHIP.

A. We lead by teaching God's truth to our children. Fathers have a responsibility for spiritual leadership in the family [Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NKJV) "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.]

1. Children living under the Law of Moses needed to be taught the precepts of that law.

2. Children today need to know all the Scriptures . . . including the saving gospel of Jesus Christ.

a. Our children need to know what to do to be saved . . . even if they don't yet fully understand the concept of sinfulness and their need for forgiveness from God.

b. Our children need to be taught about Christ's church and the importance of faithful discipleship.

c. They need to have imprinted on their minds the fact that Christ rules in the life of a child of God. [Matthew 6:33].

B. We lead by showing the way a Christian ought to act.

1. It's almost a cliché to speak of a father being a role model to his children. But it is so very true. Children pattern themselves after what they see in their parents.

2. A loving father sets many needed examples for his children.

a. Daddy praying

b. Daddy being a kind, understanding husband -- boys get ideas about how to treat women from watching how their father treats their mother.

c. Daddy working hard to provide for his family's needs. [I know we live in an age when moms often share the responsibility of bringing home the bacon. Still children need to see their fathers be responsible in the earning and spending of money. ]

III. FATHERS SHOULD GIVE THEIR CHILDREN VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS.

A. Humility -- show children how to say "I'm sorry."

B. Responsibility -- show children that every person must be accountable for his actions.

C. Doing Right -- children always have the opportunity to sneak by and not get caught. They need to learn to do what's right no matter what.

1. Be honest.

2. Be truthful.

3. Be kind.

4. Treat others as you want to be treated.

D. Working hard

1. Jewish fathers usually taught their sons a trade. Joseph evidently taught the trade of carpentry to Jesus [Mark 6:3 (NKJV) "Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?" And they were offended at Him.] Paul was a tentmaker . . . it's a reasonable assumption he learned that trade from his father although noting in the Bible says this.

2. Children today need desperately to know the value of work. When every desire is satisfied too easily, there is no appreciation for the efforts required to make those things possible. Parents who are determined that their children will "have it better" than they did often end up spoiling their children and denying them the opportunity to experience the thrill of earning what they get by their own effort. [2 Thessalonians 3:10 (NKJV) For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.]

IV. FATHERS SHOULD GIVE THEIR CHILDREN A LEGACY.

A. The word "legacy" usually suggests an inheritance. There is nothing wrong with leaving money and material possessions to one's children. However, there is nothing particularly good about it either. There are far more important things for fathers to leave their children.

B. The legacy we bequeath to our children ought to include:

1. A good family name [Proverbs 22:1 (NKJV) A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.] The Jews were proud of the fact that Abraham was their father [Matthew 3:9].

2. A history of service to God

(a) Faithful church attendance . . . Christians ought not to forsake the assembly [Hebrews 10:25]. Children are fortunate when they think back on their lives and never recall a time they didn't attend church services. "Our family was always there. . ." is a wonderful legacy.

(b) Evangelistic efforts . . . going around the neighborhood inviting other children to VBS or Bible classes . . . when older taking them on Bible studies. The church will never grow until it is made up of people teaching Christ to others. Showing your children that you love the souls of people is a wonderful legacy.

(c) Visiting the sick and needy . . . taking the Lord's Supper to the homebound, cutting widows' lawns, doing handyman chores for someone unable to do the work themselves or pay for others to do it. There are so many ways we can do good . . . showing our children the importance of these "servant deeds" is extremely important in their growing up experience.

(d) Fathers, help your sons develop their talents to take an active role in worship. Help them learn to lead prayer, lead singing, prepare devotional talks, and other ways where they can help the church. Every boy is nervous doing these things but having Dad behind him with encouragement and support is a tremendous help.

CONCLUSION

1. Fathers are essential to the proper functioning of the family. It's the way God designed it.

2. Not all fathers live up to their responsibilities. Men, rise to the challenge. Be the best father you can be. You won't be perfect. You will make mistakes. But you can do better if you try harder.

3. Older men, take advantage of ways you can mentor younger men who need to be the best possible fathers to their young children [Titus 2:1-2 (NKJV) But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: 2 that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience;]

4. On this 3rd Sunday in June, let us honor fathers and express our appreciation to them.

5. Invitation