LIFE
Interviewer: So you've been relegated how does this affect you?
Lowe: money
Interviewer: How much money will you lose?
Lowe: OH that beautiful new swimming pool I was going to buy how can I afford it now? I know I'll put ticket prices up AGAIN. Mwuhahahahaha.
Interviwer: Right well will you be selling your best players?
Lowe: Only if we get reasonable money like the �8 mil we wanted for Beattie (no chance). I mean I got an offer from Liverpool for �15 mil + Steven Gerrard for Nigel Quashie. I said 'no chance what a rip off - Do you think I'm stupid or something?' Bloody scouses always stealing peoples money.
Interviewer: What do you say to fans who want you to resign?
Lowe: I thought about it but I got so much support from people telling me to stay on. Yesterday Bryan Robson whoever that is phoned me up saying how good I am.
Interviewer: How much money are you going to give Harry Redknapp?
Lowe: Who? I'm not giving my money to any old random tramp who comes up to me talking like a zombie, except saying "druggggggggs" instead of "brainnnnnnns"
Interviewer: You know Harry Redknapp the saints manager hes the one who keeps trying to kill Milan Mandaric and gets very depressed.
Lowe: Ohh you mean that Harry Redknapp. (starts sweating a lot) Yeah hell have all the money in the world. All he has to do is find a player he likes who meets basic requirements.
Interviewer: Requirements?
Lowe: Yes he must be 10 foot tall and have 5 pet alligators. He nationality must be Iraqi and his wife must be called Princess Leia. He has to like broccoli and he must have purple hair. My research has told me this is a typical championship player.
Interviewer: Congratulations.
Lowe: On what?
Interviewer: For getting Southampton relegated for the 1st time in 31 years.