Sarah: I�ll kill you too Paul! George, stop touching me!
(Siobhan stomps her foot & stands up over everyone else. Sarah calms down [sort of].)
Siobhan: Just shut up all of you! I�m fine!
Justine: You�re not fine! You�re older than you used to be, & now you�re getting married to rock star or something-
Siobhan: We haven�t even gone on a date, you FUCKING BASTARD!
Ringo: But we will go out soon, won�t we?
(Brian gags. Paul points urgently to his throat, implying the need to talk or sing or something.)
John: Damn you, Brian. See if you can bring their voices back, or else I�ll kill you!
Lauren: Violence is always the way�
Darrell: Siobhan, you�re getting to close to Ringo for comfort. Could you move as far away as possible from him? That�s a little too gross�
Ringo: She ain�t close enough. & don�t get any ideas about her!
Sarah: Oh well. Once again, alone. Anyway, when are we gonna get out of this dumb forest?
(George goes to sit near Sarah, who moves away quickly.)
Brian: Wait�if Paul & George can�t sing�AAAHH! We�re not going to get any money with no girly voice or cheese-brained guitarist for back up!
(Brian grabs the monkey fist & runs out of the bush. The rest follow the crazed manager until he gets to the bridge over the river Al Gore had fallen into. He holds the hand above his head as if to throw it as the rest catch up.)
Brian: I want another fucking wish, or I�ll throw you in! I swear I�ll do it!
(The Monkey Wish-Hand lifts its middle finger at Brian. He becomes enraged, to say the least.)
Brian: Die, you bloody hand! DIE!
(Brian is about to hurl it into the water when John grabs the hand.)
John: Brian, calm the fuck down! It�s just giving you another wish!
Brian: Oh�oh god�sorry. I guess I went a bit psycho there. I�m okay now.
Sarah: Its okay Brian, you�re gay.
Brian: Yes, yes I am!
Ringo: Make your wish then.
Brian: Okay. I wish that Paul & George had their voices back.
(The middle finger desists in flipping Brian off. POOF! In a swirling cloud of smoke & mist, Paul & George find that their voices have returned.)
Paul: Quite an improvement Siobhan! Now it�s legal, heh heh�
Sarah: Yeah, now it�s not statutory rape�
George: Hey Sarah, wanna get back together?
John: As if you were ever with her?
Sarah & Siobhan: Ugh, god!
Siobhan: Go the hell away, Paul!
Sarah: Desist in pointlessly chasing me, you fucking FUCK!
(Brian�s cell phone [why not?] rings annoyingly & he answers it.)
Brian: Shush, everyone. Hello?..uh huh�oh really? No, no! Of course�no, we�d be honored�really? Yes�at eight? Yes, we�ll be right there, bye! No you hang up! No, you hang up! I�m hanging up�okay�bye, you! Ha ha! Bye now.
(Brian hangs up. Everyone is either staring or snickering at him. They begin to walk towards the city again to catch a cab & get ready to leave.)
Brian: They want us in Washington DC so we can play in one of those memorials or something.
Darrell: The White House?
John: Whatever. I�m assuming you�ve committed us already? Don�t answer.
Cat: Does anyone remember me? I�m still here, & I�m still fucking monkey bitch ass hungry!
Siobhan: Yes, we know. But we�re busy now.
Ringo: Brian, how long from now do we have to be there?
Paul: Probably now, being historic last minute gig players. Why would you care?
Sarah: He wants to be with his lover.
George: That would be fun, huh Sarah?
(Sarah slaps George, then moves away.)
Lauren: How many days will you be performing?
Brian: One, but we might be there longer if we want to see any sights.
John: Yeh right.
Ringo: Is Siobhan going?
Brian: NO! STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!
Ringo: If she�s not going, I�m not.
Justine: Fine, she can go & I�ll just hate her forever.
Siobhan: Okay. I don�t care.
(Suddenly & out of nowhere, the demented preps surround the group.)
All: AAAH!
Sarah: Wait! Don�t kill us! We�ll make a real trade this time!
Leader: With what?
Sarah: Uh, them.
(Sarah points to the almost forgotten three with the bags over their heads.)
Leader: Fine! But what�s under the bags?
Lauren: You don�t wanna know. Please keep them on?
(The leader, being a dumb prep, lifts off the bags anyway. He is blinded permanently because the kids underneath the bags are Tim Segotta, Kevin Armentrout, & Ryan Hutchinson, the 3 ugliest guys on Earth. The Beatles & Co. run out of the forest, �borrow� a car, then drive to the airport.)
George: Adieu, Sarah, my sweet love!
John: Child, stay here. I can�t have you hiding in my luggage. I�ll look like I killed you. You too Cat.
Ringo: Siobhan�s coming with me, so bye, everyone else!
Sarah: You dumbshit, she�s staying here!
Siobhan: Bye, plane�s leaving, & we�ve gotta run!
Sarah: Dammit! SIOBHAN!
(So Siobhan ends up going to DC with her crush, coming to the best part of every parody!)
FIN!
