Cat: Fucking bitch, fucking bitch, fucking bitch�
Paul: Well I did get my wish�
Siobhan: & I got mine�Ringo, you can climb that tree, can�t you?
Ringo: Yeah! Let�s go!
Paul: No, I�ll go! Geddown Ringo!
Ringo: No, she doesn�t like you!
Paul: Yes she does! All girls like me!
Ringo: My ass!
Paul: You short little imp! Why, I�ll�
(Paul tries to chase Ringo up the tree but is a clumsier climber than the drummer.)
Cat: Ass! Fucking bitch ass, fucking bitch ass, fucking bitch ass�
Siobhan: Uh, Paul, Ringo, you don�t have to fight, �coz�
Sarah: Silence! It�s really rare that there�s free entertainment, & you�re screwin� it up!
Siobhan: But the tickets to the Conan O�Brien show were fr-
Sarah: SILENCE!
Brian: I never thought they�d be the ones to kill each other!
Cat: John, can you teach me any more new words? Please?
John: Yeh, okay, here�s a word all talking cats should know; the �word monkey-butt�.
Cat: What�s a mon-kee-buuutt?
(John points at George who is busy watching Paul almost fall out of the tree & hit his nose on a branch instead, bloodying it, then gaining Ringo�s pity so that he gets close enough to grab & drag kicking & screaming out of the tree.)
John: That, my dear cat, is a monkey-butt.
Cat: I thought that was George!
Brian: Same diff! He doesn�t know, so long as you don�t tell him.
(Paul continues a string of insults while kicking the barely conscious Ringo.)
Paul: �& may you be trapped in a bed with Brian as you die! Siobhan, get outta that tree, NOW! It�s over, so yer safe!
Siobhan: Anywhere within a mile of you is dangerous, you bloody sex-crazed bastard! Whoa, did I just use my British accent while talking to a Brit?
Sarah: Yeah, you did. Hey, look! It looks like those seventh grade preppy people from school moved to the New York wilderness!
Beatles except Ringo: OH SHIT!
(Save for the prostrate Ringo on the ground & Siobhan up the tree, they all dive into the bushes.)
Sarah (whispering): What would my mother say if she knew I was hanging out in the bushes with 4 guys?!
John (whispering): Congratulations?
Paul: For the love of god, Siobhan, don�t come down!
Siobhan: Go screw yer mother!
George (whispering loudly): Ssh! Those kids are too close; they�ll hear you!
Leader: I�m sure I heard voices around her-there see? I told ya!
Ringo: Wha-oh hell, not now!
Lackey: Okay, I give up. Besides, we get to tear this one apart now, & I�m sure we can make him beat the death-scream record from last time.
Siobhan: Hey, you can�t do that! He�s my-oops. Uh, heh heh, just-just pretend I�m not here, �kay?
Lackey: Hey, there�s a chick up there! Let�s get her too!
Leader: you do it! I�m tying up this one.
(The Lackey & Siobhan briefly scuffle, Siobhan loses, of course, Siobhan curses a bit, then both Ringo & her are bound & marched away in the prisoner-of-war style.)
Sarah: Siobhan! DAMMIT! FUCK! SHIT! FUCKIN� BITCH! UNCLE FUCK! PISS! FUCKING A! (etc.)
Paul: I think you said that perfectly.
John: No use cryin� over spilt milk. Brian, make yer wish & then we�ll hope Ringo & Siobhan are still alive & intact when we go to rescue them. I mean, someone�s always got a plan.
Brian: I don�t know what to wish for!
Cat: I�m still fucking hungry, bitch!...monkey butt!�ass!
George: Anyways�
Paul: C�mon, man!
Sarah: While you hesitate making your wish, I�m getting some help.
John: Sid?
Sarah: Naw, better than that psycho hose beast. See ya!
Cat: Hey look, the hand is making a peace-sign.
Paul: Brian! Make your wish!
George: Yeah Brian! Do it!
Brian: I�d wish that you & George would shut up forever, but-
John: Ah ha! The middle-finger went down! That�s your wish! Ha ha ha ha ha!
(In an exploding, swirling cloud of smoke & mist, George & Paul find themselves voiceless & are too shocked to kick Brian�s ass. Only the pointer finger remains up on the hand. Sarah returns with Lauren, Justine, Darrell & 3 figures with bags strapped over their heads.)
Sarah: I�m assuming Brian wished & we can go now.
(The Cat flies to George�s shoulder.)
Cat: Hey monkey-butt, do you have anything I can eat?
(George mouths expletives & obscenities at the Cat.)
Lauren: Why isn�t he talking? & whose kitty is that?
John: Brian wished Paul�s voice away too, & it�s my cat.
Justine: Can I be your cat too?
(John makes a face, the moves Paul between them.)
Darrell: Where did you take us anyway? Why a forest in New York?
(George & Paul shrug their shoulders.)
Sarah: Never fucking mind! Siobhan�s been kidnapped by demented preps. We have to rescue her & the short fugly drummer.
(Where Siobhan & Ringo are being led to the prep�s hideout�)
Siobhan: HEY! He�s not fugly!
Ringo: Who are you talking to?
Siobhan: Sarah called you fugly. I don't think so.
Ringo: How can you hear her?
Leader: Shut the hell up!
Lackey: Yeah, you prisoners!
Ringo: Piss off! I�m talking to my-
(The Leader kicks Ringo in the thigh [major muscle groups hurt like all hell] & he begins to limp.)
Leader: Shuttup! Bejeezus�
(Back to the others in the woods�)