Situation: The Beatles & co. get back on the plane, drink themselves silly, cringe at the ugly stews-er-flight attendants, & get off in New York, NY, where they finally arrive at 5:00 PM at Rockafeller Center to do their urgent photo shoot. The only problem is that they have no idea which floor, studio, or room the shoot takes place in, so they wander about aimlessly as they do�
John: Brian: What the fuck is going on?
Brian: Can�t you make a compliment or say something relatively good to me?
Paul: Hmm, no!
George: Hey, Ringo, will ya put me face back on?
Ringo: Oh my-<heaves a couple times in a corner>�BLLAAEEHHGGGGHGHH!!!
Brian: You puked again-why?
Paul: Brian, which one?!
Brian: They didn�t, uh, specify?
George: Guys-help! It�s falling off!
John: Fine, plastic surgery!
(John puts the piece of flesh on George�s face, then punches him. The face falls off.)
Ringo: <groan> BBBLBLEEIEAAIAEEAEAGHGHGHGHGHGHHH!!
Paul: Maybe we should ask around.
John: Well safety pins & duct tape fixes everything. We should ask for that too.
(They open a random studio door & stand in the doorway to watch a late night talk show host barely make his way through a dull monologue, where only one person [guess who] laughs.)
Brian(whispering): This isn�t it. Come on.
John: No, let�s stay. Sod the bloody shoot.
Conan O�Brien: Tonight we have a great, great show people. I know I always say that, but I really mean it this time. We have a�the one, the onlea, Al Gore!
(Forced applause from the audience.)
Conan: Then we�ve got my former sidekick, my good personal friend�(sarcasm)heh heh, a man who�s career has skyrocketed since leaving this crappy show, that�s right, Andy Richter!
Paul(whispering): Look! There�s Siobhan & that other girl!
Ringo(whispering): Where?!
George(whispering): Huh?
(Paul walks over to Siobhan, who sinks down in her seat & Ringo runs over & shoves Paul away, creating much discomfort with the audience.)
Conan: & over here is Max & the-hey! What�s going on? Ex-excuse me, who are you? Why are you disrupting my show?
(George goes over to Sarah & accidentally exposes his face.)
Sarah: Ugh, gross! Get away George! Ugh!
(Sarah is chased onstage & seeks shelter behind Conan.)
Conan: Hello?! I can�t believe this-Sir! Who are these guys?
John: The Beatles! & who are you?!
Conan: I�m Conan O�Brien, like it says on that sign.
John: Are you famous or something? I don�t think I�ve ever heard of you before.
Conan: Exactly. Hey, you two lovebirds just STOP! Wait a minute-oh my�the Beatles?! But-
John: I know it�s confusing but we�re here now.
Conan: It all comes back to me now�John, right? That was George I think I just yelled at. Paul! Um� short guy, will you leave that girl alone? My audience didn�t pay good money to come here & be bothered. In fact, they didn�t pay me at all. Ha ha ha ha! Heh heh heh�oh�
(Audience chuckles mildly, save for Sarah, who almost dies laughing. Paul antagonizes Ringo.)
Ringo: Hey <oof!> Don�t slug me you daft cow.
Conan: Well, can we have an interview maybe? Andy will understand.
John: Can we Brian, pretty please with the good stuff on top?
Brian: Well, when you put it so cutely Johnny�sure thing!
(The audience cheers like heathens for once in the history of the show. After everyone is all situated with microphones & whatnot, the Beatles stand & sit across from Conan at his desk.)
Conan: I don�t get it. John & Brian, how�d you return to the land of the living?
John: Well I thought to meself that the other three sounded like shit-can I say shit?
Conan: No you can�t but we�ll edit it out.
John: Shitty all apart, so we reformed the Beatles. No, see, we really don�t know how in the heck this is physically possible or whatever, but that�s just not for us to decide. We don�t question the process, we just process the question, so to speak, & continue to produce (making � � with his fingers) �quality� music.
George: Yes, �quality�.
Brian: Er, who knows?
Paul: It�s up to the writers, you see.
(Conan puts his hand to the side of his mouth in a secretive position.)
Conan: You know how writers are, Ah-heh!
(Audience cracks the fuck up, especially Sarah.)
Conan: So why are you guys all restored to youth, looking just like you did in the 60�s?
Ringo: I dunno.
Paul: That�s a hard one�
John: We don�t question the process, we process the question!
George: ��Quality��
(The audience laughs like a bunch of idiots, especially Sarah.)
Conan: What about you Brian? Any theories about what the hell�s going on?
Brian: Huh? Er, I was staring at John�
Conan: Moving on�
(Audience chuckles at Brian�s gayness.)
Conan: Okay, well, are you guys putting out any albums or playing any shows? Making any movies?
Paul: Well the last show we played was in LA-
John: We killed N*sync.
(Audience cheers loudly.)
Conan: Good, good, progressing music as we know it, I see.
George:��Quality��
Ringo: No John, you just ran onstage ass-naked.
John: Yes I did. What did you do?