John: George went through that door & Ringo�s coming back in a sec.
Paul: Where�s he off to?
Ringo: I�m back! They have everything but what we need. Paul, your older self has enough emotional interviews to kill me!
John & Paul: Huh?
Ringo: I�m not kidding! Like this pile of interviews of Paul McCartney fell from the tower they put it into, & then, like all of those damnable tape recordings tripped me up, &-
John: Let�s go in. Unless you found-
Ringo: All I found was a shitload of mechanical pencils & a staple gun. But staple guns shoot, so I�m pleased�
Brian: We could use a staple gun for George�s face, couldn�t we?
(George shakes his head violently & distances himself from Ringo.)
John: In. NOW.
Paul: �Kay.
(They go inside & see the setup for a cartoon recording session. But, because Cow & Chicken is demented, we�re going to say that those characters are walking about rather than the dude who does the voices, because I�m being demented now! Ha ha ha ha!)
George: Thank all the high gods above & the lesser deities you got here! It�s crazy!
Brian: What�s that supposed to mean?
George: I dunno. I read it in a book & repeated it.
Ringo: This looks like a cartoon recording studio, complete with roaming cartoons�Oh dear, there�s a big, fat, uh, devil bouncing on his ass�Okay, I want out.
John: Actually, I think they call him Red Guy, so as not to upset the Christian fun-duh-mentalist mothers.
(Remember, we�re being demented here�)
Chicken: What the heck are they doin� here? This is �sposed to be a re-run!
John: We just, uh, accidentally picked these doors while looking for some duct tape & safety pins, &-hey, what the hell happened to you guys? Why not Brian?
Paul: We�re those stupid cartoon characters now! Goddammit, I look like a girl when drawn like this!
George: Yellow Submarine sucked for me! The damned motor electrocuted me.
Cow: Oh, Chicken! Look! It�s four new students to play with at schoo-ool!
Brian: What about me? Why am I normal?
Ringo: Actually, you�re not normal; you�re quite queer, to say the least�
Red Guy: You all need to act demented now, so GET MOVING!
George: �Demented� is too big a word for me. Could you define it?
Chicken: It means, oh stupid addition to the cast, effing CRAZY!
Beatles: Ah!: Duh.: My foot hurts like a bitch.: What did you think it meant, stupidass?!
Dad: Oh, hello! Are you some of Chicken�s friends?
Paul: Uh�
Mom: You!
Ringo: Me?
Mom: What happened to your foot?
Ringo: Some drums & a handgun.
Mom: Cow, go get a bandage for him!
Cow: Yes, Mother, I will, oh I will!
(Cow trots off, then comes back with a fake bandage. It�s invisible.)
John: That�s right Ringo. Put the widdle play bandage on yer footsie-wootsie.
Red Guy: Now rip it off!
Ringo: Aw, crap! Sod you-hey, the hole�s gone!
George: Cow�get me a bandage too, please?
Red Guy: We�re all out. SORRY SUCKER! But maybe if you did something. Ah. Let�s say, FUNNY AS HELL I could find one for you.
George: But I don�t know how to be funny as hell!
Paul: Then just be your usual stupidass self instead.
George: But I�m not feeling meself today.
John: None of us are, since we�re cartoons.
Ringo: There�s a cliff-allow me to show you something funny�
George: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA�
Red Guy: HA-HAW!
(Red Guy leans over the cliff & drops an invisible bandage.)
Red Guy: Here�s your bandage!
Chicken: Well I don�t know what NBC told you, but we don�t got no safety beans or duck tape.
George(angered): Ringo�
Ringo: Ugh! Not you again! BBLLEEE!...AAAGG�G-nothing left in the ol� puke tank. Thanks for reminding me of your ugly mug-AAH!
(George starts kicking Ringo�s ass.)
Cow: Violence isn�t permitted on television, especially in cartoons, unless it includes anvils or TNT�
John: We don�t give a flying FUCK!
(John starts to fight the others & they all get into a huge brawl.)
Brian: What�s this? An orgy? Count me in!
(Everyone slowly moves away from Brian.)
Chicken: Dad, what�s it called when a guy likes another guy, like Brian?
Dad: You guys better leave, I have to talk to Chicken.
Paul: Fine! Brothers to the skirmish shall we hence?
George: Oh, shuttup�
John: Oh, I�ll tell you what its called Chicken�
Ringo: Now John, don�t you think Chicken�s a bit too young fer that kind of talk?
Paul: Come on now John, nothing to see here�
(Paul & Ringo drag John off as he yells after Chicken.)
John: GAY! QUEER! ODD! FRUITY! HOMOSEXUAL! ARSE-BANDIT! BUTT PIRATE! A PROBE TO URANUS! PSYCHO! FLITTY! ETCETERA, ETCETERA!
Brian: I�m offended. It�s not wrong or even that bad to be-
Paul: Whatever! Moving on! We don�t wanna know! Too much information! & other such things!
Ringo: I�m not giving you that bandage now! Oh, my fucking-
Paul: Again, moving on!
Brian: Are we moving? I could swear we�re going around the same window & picture frame every few steps. Like we�re walking around in circles or something.