Ringo: It�s a courteous gesture! Be like a Japanese crowd!
John: Yes, do please be nice to the people who were too cheap to get the seats in front. George?
(George begins to play an acoustic version of �All You Need Is Love�.)
Brian(talking on his cell-phone): Okay�Yep� All right� I�ll tell the guys�Yes� We�ll be there� Ciao!
(The song finally ends, The crowd goes nuts again.)
Brian: Guys! Guys! We�ve got a photo shoot, pronto!
George: But I wanna sing!
Paul: Sing the shortest song you know.
George(singing): Twinkle, twinkle, little Starr�
Paul: This is one of those things you should�ve asked us about before you said yes.
John: Yeh, & where is this thing? Cuba?
Paul: Oh I hope not.
Brian: New York, New York, & it�s tomorrow so we�ll have to cut this concert short.
George(singing): How I wonder what you are�
John: What are you doing, Ringo?
Ringo(on his belly on the edge of the stage): I�m talking to me girl! Wot�s it look like, y�bugger�
John: Actually it looks like yer humping the ground!
(Later on in the car�)
Ringo: You guys could�ve just asked me nicely to come, you know, you didn�t have to drag me by the ankles all the way to the parking lot. I was busy, anyway. Now I�ve got a rash on me stomach.
John: It wouldn�t be as fun if we did that.
Paul: Oh no it wouldn�t. & shut the hell up; you bother me & you�re too short.
George(still singing): Like a diamond in the sky, twinkle, twinkle little St-
Ringo: STOP MAKING SHORT JOKES YOU JELLYBEAN SUCKING RETARD!!!
(Everyone in the car whirls around to stare at Ringo, who blushes, then digresses the conversation.)
Ringo: Are we driving to New York or what?
Brian: We�re headed to LAX right now.
John: Hey Brian, if you have to take a shit with a little help from your medicinal friends, you can just tell us. I mean, we are four of the biggest potty-mouths known to man!
George: & it�s not like we can�t spell.
Brian: Spell antidisestablishmentarianism, then.
George: A, N, uh�fuck!
Brian: I�m sorry, A-N-uh-fuck is not the correct spelling. Plus, I said L-A-X. The LA airport?
All except: Oh�
Paul: Ooh, look the beach! The beach is where all the girls wear bikinis & play with guys! I�m gettin off ere.
(Paul breaks through the window with his chin & is yoinked back by the seat belt.)
George: Even I�m not daft enough to pull something like that.
John: Look, you twit, that�s only a billboard for ciggies or something like that.
(Everyone has a good laugh at Paul.)
Ringo: You know, we should write down the stuff like that, especially when no one has a camera. Then one day we could write a story or make another movie.
Paul: What happened?!
(A concrete wall comes in place of the �sexy billboard�.)
Brian: That�s American highways for you. Oh great, traffic. We�re almost there, too.
Paul: Oh, this is sort of scary.
Ringo: Yes, I think I�ll be sick now�
George: No, please don�t!
John: Not in the car!
Paul: Can�t you hold it or something?
Ringo: Uhh�<stomach growls loudly>
Brian: That�s disgusting. Ah, we�re here! For some reason though, the writers of this story decided we�re low on cash, so we�re taking coach. Glasses on, collars up, you know how it goes.
(After the ridiculous processes of national travel, the Beatles wait for their plane to take off. They sit four abreast in the middle column, with Brian a row behind.)
Paul: Ugh! The stews are quite nasty here.
Ringo: Keep your voice down, we don�t need a shitload of screaming fans in such a narrow space.
George: Brian, how long is this damned flight going to be? Is it non-stop or what?
Brian: Lemme see�this flight goes to Tennessee, which is like, 5 hours, then we rest there for 2 hours, & then we go 3 � hours to New York, so that�s�10 � hours in total.
Beatles: Shit.
(The Beatles suddenly become devastated &/or tired. After a bit, the plane takes off.)
Stewardess: Hello! Would you like some drinks?
Paul: Helloooooo nurse! Would you like some of me-
George: A couple hundred of anything with alcohol in it, please.
John: Ditto on that!
Ringo: Yes, what they�re having.
(Later on in the flight, the Beatles are either wasted &/or asleep in the usual manner of the British traveler�)
John: Paul, you awake?
Paul: <snore> �no� <snore>
Brian: You can talk to me.
John: George?
George: <sob> me grandnan�<sniff>
Ringo: Shurrup�<snore>�we all give in a mellow bumble flea�<snore>
John: Brian, how many more hours?
Brian: About 30 minutes John.
John: I�m goin� sleepy-bye�
Brian (thought): I wonder what Tennessee is like�
FIN!
