Ringo: All you need is...leather pants & sequins!
George: No, all you need is-FUCK! Gettem!
Joey: Die, 60's idiots!
Justin: Word!
(A brawl ensues & Ringo takes on Chris, George fights J.C, John challenges Joey, Paul swings at Justin who yells "Word!" & Brian stares at Lance, who stares back.)
George (in a headlock with J.C.): Brian! Help us beat the shit out of <ack! > these Yankee bastards!
Brian: Lance...
Lance: Brian...
(A gay-guy kiss ensues...)
All: Ugh!: Disgusting!: Word!: Eew...: etc.
Paul: Will you stop with that "word" shit?
Justin: Word!
John: BRIAN! I'm not queer, I don't return yer feelings, but I liked it better when you were trying to hit on me. So I'll have to stop working for you if you don't stop...
Brian: Wha-yulk! Gerroff, you damned, unkempt, stupid-
George: Very stupid. Okay, Brian, carry on with the insults now.
Lance: Fine! If you feel like that, you can be a girl & I'll hit on Justin again!
(Lance kicks Brian in his <ahem> genital regions.)
Announcer: Look, from flirting to fighting! Let's hope there's some more action!
Chris: Hey guys, I got a good idea. Gather 'round.
(N*suck assumes a huddled position.)
Chris: Just attack one at a time, starting with shorty!
Ringo: I heard a reference to meself. AAAHHH!
(Ringo is lifted & held by the throat, & socked repeatedly in the face. Ringo blood oozes everywhere.)
Audience member: Yay! N*sync is gonna kill him!
John: Ringo's had enough...
(John kicks Joey from behind, Joey drops Ringo on to Chris, & Chris faints from a kick in the face & 139 extra pounds dropped on to his pinhead.)
Ringo(gasping): I saw <pant> me life flash before me <pant> eyes! Most of it was <pant> injections, IV units, & a <pant> drum kit <pant> though...
Joey: Who kicked me?
Paul: Hello audience! I'm going to get you to chant with me. N*SYNC SUCKS! N*SYNC SUCKS! N*SYNC SUCKS! N*SYNC SUCKS! N*SYNC SUCKS! Join in anytime now! Oh, good. George, get yer favorite food & a weapon!
George: Okay, I'll be back!
(George runs away.)
Paul: Oi Ringo! Why don't you pay back your friend 'ere?
John: How's he-shit, take that you bloody little faggot-how's he supposed to do that?
Brian: Remember when he got is shoe stuck up your a-
John: SHAAUUURRRUUUUP!!!!! That's private!
Ringo: But it's a good idea. Here, Chris, eat my big black Beatle boot!
(Chris assumes a pained stance because of the shoe up his ass & George returns with a chainsaw & jellybeans & duct tape.)
All except: Ahh!: Put that thing down!: Word!: Why duct tape?: Don't peg those at me!: etc.
George(with a mouthful of jellybeans): Y'know, I wasn't 'bout to <gulp> Wasn't 'bout to use this on anyone, but, well, eh heh heh heh heh!
(George loudly revs the chainsaw into action & Lance pees his pants from fright.)
Paul: Look Brian, someone got taken short!
J.C: Man, yellow's not your colour! Oh god! The guy with the chainsaw's after me!
George: & after I slice you in two, I'll knock off yer 'ead & use it as a futbol!
Ringo: Soccer to you Americans. Hey, I know who those two girls are!
Siobhan: Why am I here? All I see is N*suck &-hey, I see Ringo!
Sarah: Great, that means the others are here some-oh, there's George.
Siobhan: Where?
Sarah: Trying to cut J.C. apart. On the left.
Siobhan: How gear! Lauren, Darrell, do you see them? Justine?
Justine: John took off his shirt! <sigh> I hope he throws it way.
Lauren: John's talking! Shut up, I want to hear! Shh!
John: Ha! Now I'll whip everyone with this shirt, & they won't be close enough to slug me back! Whoa! Put me down!
(Lance & Joey pick up John.)
Ringo: No, not in me drums!
(Crunch, pop, crash, and bang.)
Ringo: Ha ha ha! Y'missed the bass, with our logo! Yikes! George, put that damn thing down!
J.C: Yes, please do!
Justin: Word!
Joey: Or let's take it from him & cut their hair!
Paul: What, you'd rather I look like Mr. Holliday, with big shiny helmet instead of hair?
Sarah: How'd he know about that?
Darrell: Everyone knows about that. Duh!
Justine & Lauren: Look, his pants! <giggling>
Sarah: Pull those up, John!
George(turning off his chainsaw): Hey, I heard Sarah! Pull those up John; there's no toilet seat here.
John: I'll keep my undies on until I solve that then...
(John walks offstage wearing only his "undies".)
Justin: Word!
Chris: What are they talking about? Toilet seats & undies? Perverts!
Paul: I'll go get some censor strips. Don't scream when he comes back.
(John returns with a toilet seat around his neck & censor strips covering what shouldn't be seen. Lance, Brian, Lauren & Justine giggle plus some of the audience.)
Brian: Er, I mean...
(The audience begins to cheer & some [Justine] squeal. George has crawled on his belly to the edge of the stage.)
George: Hello Sarah! You wanna go backstage and m-
Sarah: Ugh! No, you perv! Go away & leave me alone!
George: But I-
Sarah: I don�t care! Don�t you get it? I DON�T LIKE YOU!�no, you don�t get it. Not one guy on the entire Earth gets it, oog!