Situation: John, Paul, George, & Ringo are all hanging out in the latter two's flat. On a lazy Sunday, they all decide to do nothing at all, but at the spur of the moment, Ringo decides to start something that won't end for a long time...
(Ringo & John are in the bedroom, attempting to pull a large crate out from under the bed.)
Ringo(straightening up): Hmm...
John: Help me with this <rrr>Ringo!
Ringo(thought): Hey, I feel like kicking John in the ass.
(Ringo draws his foot back & lets loose.)
John: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! You kicked me in the-AAAAOAAAOOAAOOOAOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!
Paul(in the living room): George, did you hear John scream?
George: Yeah.
(Paul & George resume watching the TV)
Ringo: HEY! Me foot's stuck-sht-ah! There! Wait...where's me shoe? Eeew, John...
(John stumbles out of the room, bent over in a pained stance, and asks Paul an important question.)
John: Paul, what do you do when there's a shoe up an ass?
Paul: Hope he wiped his bum before you get it out, luv?
John: Please-help-me-ow!
Paul: Er, okay...
(John assumes a braced position as Paul attempts to pull out the shoe manually.)
Paul: Can't get a good hold on it...
John: Keep trying...
(George strolls in with a handful of jellybeans from the kitchen)
George(who stops in front of the duo): That just looks wrong. What's up anyway? Got a 'roid?
Paul: No, John's got a shoe up 'ere, an' I'm gonna pull it out.
(George peers closer at John, who looks of extreme pain.)
George: I think I'll watch. This is fun!
(Eats some jellybeans.)
Paul: RRR! I think I got it!
(Puts his foot on John's bum.)
George: Hey John, you want a green one? I like the purple ones...
Paul: GORRIT!
(Paul's foot launches John forward into George, slamming them both into the wall.)
Ringo: What was that?
John: Paul, launching a nuclear warhead at you. What did you think it was?
Ringo: That's my line! & why would a perverted dickhead like Paul have a nuclear warhead, y'cad?
Paul: It wasn't really a nuclear warhead or we would all be in hell now!
George: Correction, you would be in hell for murder and suicide, & we'd go to heaven by repenting.
Ringo: Shuttup! You don't know what you even said just now!
(Ringo walks into front room.)
Paul: Don't laugh, it's not funny.
John: By the way, where's that shoe?
Paul: My hand slipped. But it's partially out now.
Ringo: Ha ha ha ha! That's wot 'appened? Ha ha! Oh yes, John, I'm going to quit now.
(Flash of anger crosses John, Paul & George's faces.)
John: You would dare! First you get yer shoe up me ass, then you drop everything & run away!
George: By the way, why did you LAND ON ME?!
John: It woz Paul that slipped, so shut yer butt!
Paul: George shouldn't have been standing in the way in the first place.
Ringo: You just can't let it be, can you?
John: You flipping cow! If you hadn't kicked me in me arse we wouldn't be in this position!
Paul: Yeah!
(John and Paul start advancing on Ringo)
Ringo: Hey chaps, can't we all just get along? We can work it out, remember? AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
(John[still with the shoe in his ass] & Paul begin to chase Ringo around the flat while George resumes eating his jellybeans.)
John: OW! It's hard to beat up shorty with a shoe in my ASS!
(Ringo jumps over the couch, John follows & falls on his face, then Paul trips too & lands on John)
John: AAAH! Paul, you fucking looby, watch it!
Ringo(sneering): Aww, you make such a cute couple.
Paul: I'll get you, you butt-ugly elf!
John: Go, Paul! (thought): Gee I'm thirsty...
(John goes to the refrigerator & can only find prune juice amid moldy old leftovers & condiments.)
John: Why do we have prune juice?
George(who has just walked in): I bought it 'coz it was purple.
(John frowns at George, then glances at the juice, shrugs, & takes a long swig.)
John: This tastes pretty good...
(Starts drinking some more, while George sits on the couch & watches Paul & Ringo fight.)
Ringo: You can't catch me! Give it up!
Paul: C'mere, you little...
(Suddenly...[I'm not half the-] )
All: I'm hungry!
George: I'll just eat jellybeans now, even though I already was.
Paul: We'll continue this after we come back from Subway!
John: Bring me a six-footer with everything!
Ringo: Why don't you co-oh yeah, my shoe.
John: Yeah. Hurry up & GO!
(When Paul & Ringo have gone, John decides he's thirsty again.)
John: Uh, George, what's this purple stuff?
George: Prune juice.
John: Oh, okay. Wait, PRUNE JUICE?! WHAT THE-
George: Coz it's purple. You can have it.
John: Uh, okay.<chug, chug, chug>...
(When the others get back, they see a groaning, doubled-up John lying on the bed.)
Paul: George, what's up with John?
George: I dunno. He drank me prune juice & he-
Ringo: You're not talking about that 17 and a half year-old carton of prune juice, I hope? Aw, man he's about to blow up!