Paul: Maybe you should get up George. George?
M. S: Well, I wouldn�t expect him to after falling into a pool of ether. Just move him & he�ll eventually come out of it.
John: How do you calculate our pay anyhow?
M. S: Secret formula. It�s definitely too complex for you to understand.
John: Try me.
M. S: Er�okay so I don�t have a formula. It�s hourly. Don�t worry about it. If you don�t damage anything, it should come out to quite a lot.
John: So I sez to Ringo, I sez-oh wait, were you saying something? I was talking to Paul see�
M. S: Forget it. Who�s next for another experiment, eh?
(John pushes Paul forward.)
M. S: All right then. Let�s go over here to this contraption. Paul, I want you to get up onto this platform & lean against it�s adjacent backrest. Now where are the Ringos?
Ringo 1: Over here! I was just talking with me other me.
Ringo 2: Me too.
M. S: So you have worked out your, uh, un-differences? Good. Now, you two & John strap in Paul, & I will calibrate the equipment.
John: No!
M. S: Why not?
John: No reason.
Brian: I�ll help.
Paul: No you won�t!
Brian: You know, your stereotypes are hurtful.
Ringo 2: Look, don�t even worry about it. Me & me will do it.
(The Mad Scientist puts a large metallic helmet on Paul�s head, which has a bunch of wires & tubes coming out of it attached to a large machine, with more wires coming out on the other side & into another very small helmet, on the head of a rabbit in a cage. Finally all the precautionary stuff is out of the way. Everyone�s a bit confused as to what is about to take place except for the Mad Scientist.)
Paul: Uh, what exactly is going to happen to me?
M. S: See that rabbit over there?
John: Whuh-oh�Yeah, what about it?
M. S: Do you know what rabbits like to do best?
Ringo 1: Yep, & that�s disgusting. Please don�t elaborate any more.
John: Poor bunny�Are you switching their minds?
M. S: I�m transporting some of the natural brain criteria into the cranium of this young fellow.
Paul: Okay, that�s not so bad.
Ringo 2: Yes it is, but it probably won�t make much difference since this is Paul we�re talking about.
John: What part of his brain are you transporting anyway?
M. S: The instinctive part.
Brian: Eeew!
M. S: Turn it on.
(A humming noise begins to emanate from the machine & Paul�s face becomes unusually serene.)
John: �20 says nothing�s different.
Ringo 1: Yer on! I say he starts hoppin� around & craving carrots.
(Paul is unstrapped from the machine & he stumbles off the platform unsteadily.)
Paul: I�m hungry.
M. S: Paul, I have just taken brain mass from a rabbit & implanted it into your mind. You may experience dizziness, nausea-
Paul: Hey, any byrds �round these parts or what?
John: Well that�s no different. Hey Shorty, buck over with that pretty polly!
Ringo 1: Wrong Ringo. It was him!
Ringo 2: No, it was him! I�m not stupid enough to make a bet with you!
Ringo 1: Yes you are!
Ringo 2: Grrr! Say it to my face you shminking waffle!
Paul: Eeek! I�m s-s-scared of f-fights!
(Paul runs behind John & Brian for safety.)
John: George! Loud noises scare bunnies too! DON�T THEY PAUL?!!
Brian: Asshole.
M. S: Will you please stop those two from fighting?
Brian: But it�s funny because neither of them has 10 fingers!
M. S: Well are you happy now? One of them has a carving knife.
Paul: Nooo! I�m too cute to die!! I think my heart is gonna explode! Oh no!
(Paul runs through the lab into the back-room, then quickly returns.)
Paul: There�s a girl-thing back there.
John: She�s not a virgin anymore, huh?
Paul: I left her alone. Am I allowed to though? Please?
George: Lemme see her, we�ll decide after.
(Everyone but the quarreling Ringos go to see the girl in the back-room. She is starved-looking, bound, gagged & sleeping. Something doesn�t look quite right about her & the Beatles seem to vaguely recognize her.)
John: Why�s she all tied up?
Brian: When did George awake?
George: I dunno. Why�s she look familiar?
M. S: You know this creature? She has physical appendages that-
John: Say no more! I do know her! Wake up, you!
Girl: Mmmm?
Brian: Oh it�s Zoraa�the mateless, specieless freak who lives between insanity & heaven.
M. S: If you can get her to speak with you, I�d be more than happy to let you un-gag her.
Brian: Okay.
Zoraa: Don�t expect an ass-raping civil word from my mother-fucking mouth, because that dumbnut scientist seems to think I�m his idiotic humanoid lab-rat!
John (whispering to Zoraa): If I let you go, will you take me to Sid?
Zoraa: No chance, dickweed!
M. S: I�m doing a study on this odd specimen. Especially why she reacts so aggressively to everyday stimuli�
Zoraa: Maybe because you tie me up for days then poke me with your theories so you can get a name for yourself in the scientific community or some other shminkingly retarded shitterific reason like that! Why don�t you just ask, you nerdy, emotionless, useless unesjemm?!!?!