Faint Hearts and Beatles Fans
page 22
You have to be strong to be a true Beatles fan. You have to be able to stand and wait for them in freezing rain and cold; you must be able to push and shove all the other kids in the crowd. You need good lungs, so that you can scream your heart out whenever you see them. Elbows and knees are very important, too, for using on whoever uses theirs on you first. And you must have a good loud, clear voice so's everyone else can hear you screaming.
Now you would think that any normal teen-age kid would be able to do all this, wouldn't you? Well, dig this: there have been as many as ten faintings at some Beatle appearances! That's right, ten girls who have not been able to stand up to the requirements of Beatle fanship.
So that you will never be embarrassed in front of your friends, as well as thousands of strangers, we suggest the following: at least twelve hours sleep the day before; a check-up by your family doctor a week in advance; a good dose of throat spray every four hours for a week; a half hour's practice with your kid brother's punching bag; twenty-five push-ups and twenty-five chinnings; sing the chorus of "Stout Hearted Men" twice a day; bring hot chicken soup.
Personality Table of Contents