OVERTURE MRS. JOHNSTONE Tell me it's not true Say it's just a story NARRATOR So did y' hear the story Of the Johnstone twins? As like each other as two new pins Of one womb born, on the self same day, How one was kept and one given away? An' did you never hear how the Johnstones died, Never knowing that they shared one name, Till the day they died, when a mother cried My own dear sons lie slain. An did y' never hear of the mother so cruel, There's a stone in place of her heart? Then bring her on and come judge for yourselves How she came to play this part. MARILYN MONROE MRS. JOHNSTONE Once I had a husband You know the sort of chap, I met him at a dance And how he came on with the chat TEDDY BOY Y' dancin'. I think you're a bleedin' cracker. MRS. JOHNSTONE He said my eyes were deep blue pools My skin as soft as snow. TEDDY BOY Lovely. MRS. JOHNSTONE He told me I was sexier than Marilyn Monroe And we went dancing. We went dancing. Then, of course, I found That I was six weeks overdue. TEDDY BOY Y' what !?? MRS. JOHNSTONE We got married at the registry. An' then we had a "do". GUESTS Bring on the Bevvies. MRS. JOHNSTONE We all had curly salmon sandwiches An' how the ale did flow. GUESTS Cheers. MRS. JOHNSTONE They said the bride was lovlier than Marilyn Monroe. GUESTS And we went dancing, Yes, we went dancing. MRS. JOHNSTONE Then the baby came along. We called him TEDDY BOY Darren Wayne. MRS. JOHNSTONE Then three months on I found that I was in the club again. TEDDY BOY I married a bleedin' rabbit. MRS. JOHNSTONE An' though I still fancied dancing. My husband wouldn't go. TEDDY BOY Get lost will y'. MRS. JOHNSTONE With a wife he said was twice the size of Marilyn Monroe. No more dancing No more dancing. By the time I was twenty-five I looked like forty-two. With seven hungry mouths to feed And one more nearly due Me husband, he walked out on me A month or two ago. TEDDY BOY Ta-ra. MRS. JOHNSTONE For a girl they say who looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe. And they go dancing. They go dancing. Yes, they go dancing, They go dancing. MY CHILD MRS. LYONS Hello Mrs. J. How are you? Mrs. J.? Anything wrong? MRS. JOHNSTONE I had it all worked out. With one more baby we could have managed. But not with two, the welfare have already been on to me. MRS. LYONS Twins? You're expecting twins? NARRATOR How quickly an idea, planted, can Take root and grow into a plan. The thought conceived in this very room Grew as surely as a seed, in a mother's womb. MRS. LYONS Give one of them to me. Please, Mrs. Johnstone. Please. MRS. JOHNSTONE Are y'....are y' that desperate to have a baby? MRS. LYONS Each day I look out from this window I see him with his friends, I hear him call, I rush down but as I fold by arms around him He's gone. Was he ever there at all? I've dreamed of all the places I would take him The games we'd play, the stories I would tell. The jokes we'd share, the clothing I would make him. I reach out, but as I do, he fades away. MRS. JOHNSTONE If my child was raised in a palace like this one He wouldn't have to worry where His next meal was comin' from. His clothing would be Supplied by George Henry Lee MRS. LYONS He'd have all his own toys And a garden to play in MRS. JOHNSTONE He could make too much noise Without the neigbors complainin' MRS. LYONS Silver trays to take meals on MRS. JOHNSTONE A bike with both wheels on? MRS. LYONS And he'd sleep every night In a bed of his own. MRS. JOHNSTONE He wouldn't get into fight.s He'd leave matches alone And you'd never find him Effin' and blindin' And when he grew up He could never be told To stand and queue up. For hours on end at the dole He'd grow up to be MRS. LYONS / MRS. JOHNSTONE A credit to me MRS. JOHNSTONE To you? MRS. LYONS Yes. MRS. JOHNSTONE I would still be able to see him everyday, Wouldn't I? MRS. LYONS Of course. MRS. JOHNSTONE An'.... An' you would look after him, Wouldn't y'? MRS. LYONS I'd keep him warm in the Winter And cool when it shines I'd pull out his splinters Without making him cry I'd always be there If his dream became a nightmare MRS. JOHNSTONE & MRS. LYONS My child My child My child MRS. LYONS Mrs. J. we must make this a binding agreement. NARRATOR In the name of Jesus, the thing was done, Now there's no going back, for anyone, It's too late now for feeling torn There's a pack been sealed. There's a deal been born. EASY TERMS MRS. JOHNSTONE Only mine until The time comes round To pay the bill. Then I'm afraid. What can't be paid Must be returned. You never, ever learn That nothing's yours On easy terms Only for a time, I must not learn To call you mine. Familiarize That face those eyes Make future plans That cannot be confirmed On borrowed time, On easy terms. Living on the never never, Constant as the changing weather, Never sure Who's at the door Or the price I'll have to pay Should we meet again I will not recongize your name You can be sure What's gone before Will be concealed. Your friends will never learn That once we were On easy terms. Living on the never never, Constant as the changing weather, Never sure Who's at the door Or the price I'll have to pay... MRS. LYONS They're born, you didn't notify me. MRS. JOHNSTONE Couldn't I keep them for a few more days, They're a pair, they go together. MRS. LYONS My husband is due back tomorrow, Mrs. Johnstone. I must have my baby we made an agreement, A bargain. You swore on the bible. MRS. JOHNSTONE You'd better see which one you wan MRS. LYONS I'll take MRS. JOHNSTONE No. Don't tell me which one. Just take him, Just take him. Living on the never never Constant as the changing weather, Never sure Who's at the door Or the price I'll have to pay Should we meet again... SHOES UPON THE TABLE NARRATOR How swiftly those who've made a pact Can come to overlook the fact Or wish the reckoning be delayed But a debt is a debt, and must be paid. MRS. LYONS You do know what they say about twins, Secretly parted, don't you? MRS. JOHNSTONE What? What? MRS. LYONS They say that if either twin learns that he was One of a pair, they shall both immediately die. It means, Mrs. Johnstone, that these brothers Shall grow up, unaware of the other's existence They shall be raised apart and Never, ever told what was once the truth.. You won't tell anyone about this, Mrs. Johnstone. Because if you do, you will kill them. NARRATOR Shoes upon the table An' a spider's been killed. Someone broke the lookin' glass. A full moon shinin'. An' the salt's been spilled. You're walking on the pavement cracks. Don't know what's gonna come to pass. Now y'know the devil's got your number. Y'know he's gonna find y'. Y'know he's right behind y', He's starin' through your windows He's creeping down the hall. Ain't no point in clutching At your rosary You're always gonna know what was done Even when you shut your eyes you still see That you sold a son And you can't tell anyone But y'know the devil's got your number Y'know he's gonna find y'. Y'know he's right behind y', He's standin' on your step And he's knocking at your door. He's knocking at your door. He's knocking at your door. JULY 18TH EDWARD What's your name? MICKEY Michael Johnstone. But everyone calls me Mickey. What's yours? EDWARD Edward Lyons. MICKEY D' they call y' Eddie? EDWARD No. MICKEY Well, I will. EDWARD Will you? MICKEY Yeh. How old are y' Eddie? EDWARD Seven. MICKEY I'm older than you. I'm nearly eight. EDWARD Well, I'm nearly eight, really. MICKEY What's your birthday? EDWARD July the eighteenth. MICKEY So is mine. EDWARD Is it really? MICKEY Eh, we were born on the same day -- that means we can be blood brothers. Do you wanna be my blood brother, Eddie? EDWARD Yes, please. KIDS GAME SAMMY I got y'. I shot y' And y' bloody know I did. I got y'. I shot y' LINDA I stopped it with the bin lid. SAMMY Bin lid -- but You know that if you cross your fingers ALL And if you can count from one You can get up off the ground again It doesn't matter The whole thing's just a game. MICKEY What are we going to play now? LINDA Gangsters. PERKINS My name is Elliot Ness And lady here's my card. I'm looking for one Al Capone. ALL Who? PERKINS Mac, check the back. Sarge, you check the yard! DONNA MARIE But pal, I've told y'Al ain't home! PERKINS Oh, yeh. Bang, bang, bang. So, lady, can I use your telephone? SAMMY He missed. MICKEY, LINDA AND PERKINS But you know that if you cross your fingers And if you count from one to ten You can get up off the ground again. ALL It doesn't matter. The whole thing's just a game. SAMMY Cowboys COWBOY When I say, "Draw!" You'd better grab that gun And maybe say a little prayer Cos I'm the fastest draw That man, you ever saw Call up your woman. Say goodbye to her. DONNA MARIE Shame! COWBOY Cos y' know you're goin' right down there SAMMY Bazooka! MICKEY Indians ALL But you know that if you cross your fingers And if you count from one You can get up off the ground again. It doesn't matter, the whole thing's just a PERKINS Watch out! SAMMY My name's Professor Howe, An' zees bomb I 'old, Eet can destroy ze 'emisphere, I've primed it, I've timed it To explode, Unless you let me out of here ALL No! SAMMY Then I suggest you cover your ears LINDA But you know that if you cross your fingers LINDA AND DONNA MARIE And if you count from one ALL You can get up off the ground again, It doesn't matter, The whole thing's just a game The whole thing's just a game The whole thing's just a game. GYPSIES IN THE WOOD MICKEY Eddie... Y' comin' out? EDDIE My mum says I haven't got to play with you. MICKEY Well, my mum says I haven't got to play with You. But take no notice of mothers. They're soft. Come on, I've got Linda with me. She's a girl, but she's alright. MRS. LYONS Edward, Edward, Edward... NARRATOR There's gypsies in the wood And they've been watchin' you They wanna take your baby away, There's gypsies in the wood, And they've been calling you Can Edward please come out and play Please can he come with us and play? Y' know the devil's got your number Y' know he's gonna find you, Y' know he's right behind y' He's starin' through your windows, He's creepin' down the hall. LONG SUNDAY AFTERNOON / MY FRIEND MICKEY No kids out on the street today. You could be living on the moon. Maybe everybody's packed their bags And moved away Gonna be a long, long, long Sunday afternoon. Just killing time and kicking cans around Try to remember jokes I knew, I tell 'em to myself, But they're not funny since I found It's gonna be a long, long, long Sunday afternoon. My best friend Always had sweets to share, Knew every word in the dictionary He was clean, neat and tidy From Monday to Friday, I wish that I could be like Wear clean clothes, talk properly like Do sumes and history like EDWARD AND MICKEY My friend My friend EDWARD My best friend He could swear like a soldier You would laugh till you died At the stories he told y' He was untidy From Monday to Friday I wish that I could be like Kick a ball and climb a tree like Run around with dirty knees like EDWARD AND MICKEY My friend My friend MICKEY Feels like everybody stayed in bed Or maybe I woke too soon. Am I the last survivor? Is everybody dead? On this long, long, long Sunday afternoon. BRIGHT NEW DAY MRS. JOHNSTONE Oh, bright new day, We're movin' away MICKEY Why ma'am? MRS. JOHNSTONE We're startin' all over again MICKEY Linda...Linda. MRS. JOHNSTONE Oh. Bright new day We're going away SAMMY Where? MRS. JOHNSTONE Where nobody's heard of our name SAMMY Moving away -- from here? MRS. JOHNSTONE Where we can begin again, Feel we can win and then Live just like livin' should be. Got a new situation, A new destination And no reputation following me. MICKEY Linda we're movin'... LINDA So are we! MRS. JOHNSTONE We're getting out We're movin' house, We're starting all over again. MICKEY AND SAMMY Abba dabba do! MRS. JOHNSTONE We're leavin' this mess For our new address "Sixty-five Skelmersdale Lane" SAMMY Is that in the country, mother? DONNA MARIE What's it like there? MRS. JOHNSTONE The air is so pure You get drunk just by breathing, And the washing stays clean on the line. Where there's space for the kids The garden's so big, It would take you a week Just to reach the far side Come on Sammy, Mickey, now you've all gorra help 'em Would you excuse us, we've gorra pack We're movin' away NEIGHBOUR Oh, that's too bad. POSTMAN Oh, isn't it sad POLICEMAN Praise the lord, he has delivered us at last NEIGHBOUR We mustn't scoff! NEIGHBOUR The Johnstones are off ALL Clap your hands Grab your whistle Give it a blast POSTMAN Goodbye to the riff raff The trash and the trouble NEIGHBOUR Goodbye to the scum and the scruff MILKMAN Wherever you're going We hope you go knowing ALL That as far as you're going Won't be far enough! MRS. JOHNSTONE Just pack the bags, We're leavin' the rags, The wobbly wardrobe, Chest of drawers that never close. The two legged chair, the carpet so bare. You wouldn't see it if it wasn't for the holes Now that we're movin' Now that we're improvin' Let's just wash our hands of this lot For it's no longer fitting, for me to be sitting On a sofa, I know for a fact was knocked off POLICEMAN Knocked off. MRS. JOHNSTONE We might get a car, Be all 'lahdie dah', An' go drivin' out to the sands. LINDA We're coming too! MRS. JOHNSTONE At the weekend, A gentleman friend, Might take me dancing To the local bands We'll have a front room And then if it should happen, That His Holiness files in from Rome, He can sit there with me, Eating toast, drinking tea In the sort of surroundings That reimind him of home. MICKEY It's like the country isn't it, ma'am? MRS. JOHNSTONE Ey, we'll be alright out there son. Away from the muck an' the dirt an' the bloody trouble Eh, I could dance. Come here. MICKEY Get off... MRS. JOHNSTONE Oh, bright new day, We're movin' away, We're startin' all over again. Oh, bright new day, We're goin' away, Where' nobody's heard of our name. SAMMY Come on gang. Let's go and play in that field, MRS. JOHNSTONE Mickey, an' what are you laughin' at? MICKEY I'm not laughin'. I'm smilin'. I haven' seen you happy like this for ages. MRS. JOHNSTONE Well, I am happy now, eh? Jesus, where's the others? MICKEY They went into that field, ma'am. MRS. JOHNSTONE Sammy! Sammy! Get off that bleedin' cow before I kill you. That cow's a bull. MRS. JOHNSTONE Now we can begin again, Feel we can win an' then, Live just like livin' should be. Got a new situation, A new destination, An' no reputation following me. ALL We're gettin' out we're movin' house We're goin' away. Gettin' out today. We're movin' movin' movin' movin' movin' house. We're goin' away, oh, bright new day. MARILYN MONROE (FIRST REPRISE) MRS. JOHNSTONE The hosue we got was lovely, The neighbours are a treat, They sometimes fight on a Saturday night, But never in the week. NEIGHBOURS What time do you call this, then? Time I got shot of you, rat bag! "Ow!" MRS. JOHNSTONE Since I pay me bills on time, The milkman insists I call him Joe. MILKMAN Call me Joe. MRS. JOHNSTONE He brings me bread and eggs, Says I've got legs Like Marilyn Monroe. Sometimes he takes me dancing Even takes me dancing I know our Sammy burnt the school down. But it's very easily done. If the teacher lets the silly gets Play with magnesium. Thank God he only got probation. The judge was old and slow Thought it was kind of him, Said I reminded him of Marilyn Monroe. JUDGE And could I take you dancing? I'd love to take you dancing young lady. MRS. JOHNSTONE Our Mickey's just turned fourteen. Y' know he's at that age When you mention girls, or courting, He flies into a rage. MICKEY Shut up talking about me, Mother. MRS. JOHNSTONE He's got a thing for taking blackheads out, And he think I don't know, That he dreams all night of girls who look like Marilyn Monroe. He's even started dancing, secret dancing And as for the rest, they've flown the nest Got married or moved away Our Donna Marie's already got three. DONNA MARIE Hello, ma'am. MRS. JOHNSTONE She's a bit like me. And that other child of mine, I haven't seen for years, although Each day I pray he'll be okay, Unlike poor Marilyn Monroe.
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