i've decided that i hate the japanese language. that's really good, isn't it? especially being an east asian languages & cultures major. but it's true. i like studying it, but i despise the pressure that accompanies the tests. we had our only test yesterday in class, with roughly three-hundred kanji on it, and i bombed it. it doesn't help that there was a huge chunk at the beginning that was stuff i never studied. don't even get me started on what that did to my confidence! but when i asked the sensei, she was like "shoo ga nai..." (that can't be helped) to boot all of the difficult and obscure kanji appeared, and none of the normal ones were there.
what i need is a good nap. i've had a hell of a lot of trouble sleeping in this country since arriving. no, i take that back. i sleep well on weekends, when i go to B&Bs. i sleep poorly in the dorm. if it's not the second-hand smoke seeping under my door, it's the thumping music that katy plays every night. i've called her up enough and asked her to turn it down now so that it's ridiculous. you would think she would have gotten the hint. i've been sleeping with my earplugs in and even my eye mask. last night i moved my mattress to the floor hoping it would help. i can still hear her dreaded music!!
well, life isn't all bad for me. no, it really isn't. i'm enjoying my two religion courses a lot, to the point where i would consider taking religion up for an M.A. course (maybe even at SOAS?). i'm quite fascinated by it, it's teaching me a lot about other people and their beliefs. my iraa class is cool because we have a new lecturer every few weeks, when we move on to the religion of the week. and japanese religions is great too, even though i'm the only one who's done any of the work.
the highlight of my day today will be researching for my japanese religions paper--i'm writing a paper on the mizuko-kuyo--in other words, the spirits of children who have either been stillborn, miscarried, or aborted--and it's relation to japanese buddhism. it sounds strange, but there are certain allowances for abortion in japanese society and particularly buddhism, despite the buddhist doctrine "do not kill." for example, people believe that an aborted child will simply reverse the typical buddhist life cycle and come back as a later child. to assure this, they place a sardine in the fetus' mouth so that buddhahood is an impossibility (since a true buddhist cannot eat the flesh of another animal). there are also lots of ceremonies held at temples for the mizuko-kuyo, and they also have their own patron buddha, jizo. but do such actions really fit into buddhism or are they more just a means of appeasing the western concept of guilt, since they do appear to contradict the basic principles of buddhist thought? stay tuned!
hey, that wasn't half bad! i do know quite a bit about buddhism and the mizuko-kuyo i think. :) so not everything is going poorly. it's just hard when you haven't had much sleep and you feel like you bombed an important test. today i'm going to settle back in my room with my computer (a lot of the research is available online) and a nice cup of my homemade chicken soup as i attempt to study. i'll be relieved when i have a lot less studying to do!
interesting fact...my screenname for america online is the name of one of the largest buddhist nunneries in tokyo, a group which has had affiliation with columbia u. and i picked it because it was the name of my furby! |
