| JOURNAL ENTRY ( PAGE 2&3) EXCUSE THE WRITING I DON'T HAVE A SCANNNER AVAILBLE AT THE MOMENT |
| willpower. Have nothing worth giving. Have nothing no one wants. Only bordom and burdens. "i have blood she said. i have pain-anger-regret-lonliness -thoughts. I have something to take. I can take all from you Please. I need more to survive. I need something stronger and more significant I need SCREAMS OF AMERICA. The Terror and Fear I need to feel. I just need to feel something. No one listens or cares. No one helps my THINKING, MY CRIES. And of course why would they? To busy for a burden . YES SIR. I want to change for the better. Not for the good but for the devoted. More involved. I want to be sick. I am already, why take a long time to change for the positive and be uncomfratble and full of Fear. When you can change for the worst, and be more devoted,comfratble, and to feel so much of what I choose to let seep into my wall. Which would you prefer? Tell me you stupid crazy Freak . I am sorry, but I don't know. I want my blood but I have nothing to release it with. I just want to FEEL FUCKING SOMETHING. THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING. I am only in the way wasting time, makeing poeple sick if they look at me, Desicrating beautiful pages with my meaningless emotions. Can I be something Free something Dead. How pretty my casket would be, my tombstone would be wonderful, my wounds, and last words would make an impact on hmm, the people who depended on my connections,or my mouth. Here I am being selfish. I could write so beautiful when I was fucked up, and now nothing except repetative, meaningless jibberish. I write the same thing over and over, my creative downfall.. Again please excuse the writing i will have the actual journal posted soon The whole extent of feeling can't be reached with such clean lettering. |