Several weeks ago, the question "What do you think Jesus thinks about you?" was posed to the college group at Bible study. My answer was immediately negative, one of disappointment. It was just too difficult for me to comprehend infinite love. It has been on my mind since then until tonight when I had this daydream while praying. It may be that I was too close to the scented candle. Nevertheless, I believe I have found closure to that question because of this daydream:

Jesus and I were talking in a huge field bordered with tall pines. The field was gold as it reflected light from the sun. I saw Him from a distance, and He walked towards me grinning. We hugged, and He pressed His cheek against mine. Then we walked through the field touching the tops of the tall grass. The touch of it was so light it tickled my palms. I dared a glance towards Jesus as I shot forward, running faster and faster until the grass was a blur. He kept pace with me easily, and I slowly realized that it was my feet touching the tops of the grass, not my hands. We had both grown huge white wings streaked with silver and begin to soar over the field. The wind ruffled my feathers like fingers running through hair as tears streaked down my face. I was seeing the world from the heavens.

We descended and the feathers melted back into skin. Feeling a childlike joy, I dashed to the pine forest ahead of Jesus. I hid behind a tree, but I could feel Him see directly through the tree. Pressing my body against the rough bark I peered around the right side of the tree, but he appeared behind me. I dashed to another tree thinking I could hide from Him. Again, He won. Time after time again I tried to hide, but He found me. Exhausted, I collapsed on the ground. Jesus bent down and carried me to the creek. He gently placed me next to the water and slowly cupped water to my mouth. I rested then as together we watched tiny silver fish glint back and forth in the river. He got up and walked to the center of the creek, holding out His hand for me to follow. The edge of His white robes washed around His knees. As soon as I raised my foot to step in the creek a lilypad appeared for my foot to walk on. Each time I stepped a lilypad appeared so my toes were washed but not submerged in the refreshing waters. I walked on the lilypads while Jesus, wading up to his waist in water, held my hand.

He finally led me out of the creek and through the trees to another clearing, very similar to the first. However, this one was without a forest on the other side so it was just field for eternity. There was one exception to the expanse: a huge oak in the middle. Being the only tree it looked as if it reached higher than the clouds into heaven itself. A rope swing hung from the branches: a plank of dogwood attatched on either side by a rope. He led me to it, and I sat, feet dangling while He pushed me. He never tired and let me enjoy the moments of reaching to the sky. A question hesitated on the back of my mind, but He already knew it:

"What is it?" Jesus asked
"Why can't you take me now?"
"Because it's not your time"
"Why can't it be everyone's time?"
"I have some things to finish before I return"

He didn't seem bothered by my childish questions so I continued:

"Why can't everyone do this with you?"
"They don't believe they can have this relationship with me"

There was a long pause as I thought on this and as I savored these moments on the swing. Finally, I asked, looking at the field around me:

"Why have you given me this? I don't deserve it"

At this, Jesus spun me around to face Him. Looking into the eyes of God, at embodied compassion and love, he replied:

"I am proud of you and have always been"