To My Friends
August 15, 2002

Hey guys I just wanted to let you know that I love you guys very very much. I don't think you'll ever ever EVER realize how much I do. So I'm just telling you now. I know I said it earlier in another entry but I'm saying it again now in this entry. I don't care if you're so fat I have to roll you wherever we go or so bald that your head could double as a bowling ball or so broken out that you have mini Mt. Everests on your face. I really and truly don't care and guess what? No one else does either. And if they do they aren't worth my time or your time. Actually our time because we'll be doing stuff together. Do you care if I'm fat, broken out or bald or who knows what else? No, I don't think you do so why should anyone else? Who are you being skinny for? WHO? TELL ME WHO? Who are you looking nice for? Tell me of any guy you've met that you would be willing to spend your life with? Look at the guys at our school? Any of them? No, I haven't met any. Maybe you have but I doubt it. If you have tell me. And guess what you guys? I'm saving all the good stuff for the one guy that God will send for me, but you know what the best part about all of this is? When I find the guy that I wanna look nice for HE WON'T GIVE A FLYING BISCUIT! And that's what I'm telling you now. I am and I want to be your good friend-- through and through. Good and bad times. I want to be here when you're sick and you're throwing your guts up all over the floor. And you look your absolute worst and I sit with you by the toliet for 6 hours while you hack up your brains (after of course spraying the stains with Resolve). And when you find a guy that says that to you, you know you've found the one. So sit back and relax, wait and laugh at the others who don't know this information. And pray because God will give him to you, and he won't care what you look like. I love it. Everytime I look at myself and go look at that pudge right there ::points:: see it? It's sticking out 1.568347383 inches from my body. And you see that spot there on my face? You know it's not like I'm going through puberty or anything... I just later look back and go what the heck was I thinking? For I know God listens to prayer, and I know He will answer the prayer I have for the right guy that doesn't look at the stupid outer shell. He will see me for me, and I will see him for him. And even if he looked horrible to the world, God will show me the inside, and he will look beautiful to me. And I know he will see me in a way that makes me more beautiful than anyone he's ever seen. I know so. Anyone who has doubts.. don't. If you love God and pray to Him and profess in Him openly, He will answer your prayer for a guy that fits you so well. He will send you a guy that's a key to your lock. Only one fits.

One more thing to my friends, would you ever disrespect me? Would you ever do anything to hurt me? Would I ever do anything to hurt you? No. I would never lay a hand on you. I wouldn't disrespect your body or you in that kind of way. So why do sometimes people disrespect themselves? Why do you hurt yourselves? Because when the one guy comes for you, he's gonna see what you've done to yourself, and it's not God's way. God makes us beautiful to each other, but when we mess with ourselves we mess up his plan. Do you wanna be fooling with God's plan? I don't. Oh man, I don't. Another thing, when I think of my body, how I look and I start getting down on myself, I think of that Bible verse (again I don't remember the exact phrase. I'm sorry) that says that each of our bodies is a temple. Each time you do something to mess with your body, it's taking a chisel to the temple. You don't wanna desecrate a temple of God's do you? I don't. And each time I hear you're doing something to yourself, it hurts me. It hurts a lot of people. What are you doing by hurting yourself? What are you trying to do? You know that you're gonna get the guy of your dreams eventually because you have faith. So what do you care how you look now? I mean isn't eating good and exercise enough?

Do you wanna be like the supermodels? Why? Do you want to be like the people on TV? The ones you always hear are getting divorced, on crack/pot/weed, are being sent to the hospital for harming themselves and they wear things so revealing that you don't even have to close your eyes to see everything underneath. Do you want to be that person? No but that's who you're working to be. And what standards are you going by? The world's standards? What crappy standards those are! The standards that say well sure let's pass out free condoms (sure less pregnancies but hey, we have condoms, we don't even have to pay now for sex, free sex!) education? no that's not important. Sure we'll lower the honor code punishments just put a little Benjamen into my hand... No, I don't go by those standards. I go by God's, and I hope you do too! So, I tell you STOP IT. Don't follow them! Be yourself.

I got a video from a nearby church. And it interviews college guys about what they thought about how girls dress. These were Christian college guys. The kind that you want to take home, the kind that God will send for us. And they said that when they saw a girl that was showing off what she had, She looked good but just wanted attention. They thought she was the "one night stand" type of girl, and they wouldn't bring her home to their mothers. One guy said that if his sister tried to go out like that that he wouldn't let her. At the parties, they weren't looking for girls who had nice bodies. They were looking for the girls that they wanted to take home for their mothers. Isn't that the kind of girl you want to be? I do. I sooo do. I want to be the kind of girl that a guy can yell, "Look what God has sent for me! Look what she has saved for me! Wow!" And that's all I have to say. The world is simple- GOD. Please talk to me.

Love,
Lemme

P.S. I love you