| How come wrong numbers are never busy? Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over" ? Does that screwdriver belong to Philip? Does killing time damage eternity? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? Why is it that night falls and day breaks? Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume ont the radio? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn-shop? <~~~ Hi Dennis! LOL Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? Do pilots take crash-courses? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? How can there be self-help "groups" ? How do you get off a non-stop flight? How do you write zero in Roman numerals? How do many weeks are there in a light year? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman? If athletes get sthlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them? If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made of? If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do? If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? If white wine goes with fish, do grapes go with sushi? <~~~~ Hi Lees!!!! If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? If you take an oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot? Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? Why is the time of day with slowest traffic called rush hour? If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? What do people in China call their good plates? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work? Why is a bra singular and panties plural? If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your head lights on, what happens? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM? Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment , but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo? What would Geranimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station .... If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me - they were cramming for their finals. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do ... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Clones are people "two" ? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? So what's the speed of dark? After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? If you're sending someone some styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterolize needles for lethal injections? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above are furious. |
| Laughs For Life |