Roly

Rolypolecat: my first ever fuzzy friend and what a challenge. Roly was handed in to our local shelter by the RSPCA after he had been found wandering on a
busy city dual-carriageway. He was quiet unpeturbed by the experience, but did
not have any manners when it came to hooomans. He has since decided that we are wonderful, soppy, cuddly things that enjoy being suprised by a very hard bite when we least expect it and when we have just told at least ten people that he has grown out of the habit, or hasn't done it for months!!!! (he also knows that he is mommy's bestest boy) but he is very mixed up and consequently his antics prompted me to write his very own poem for him.

Rolypolecats Poem

We's not a schwizofwenic am I
I can't weally help owselves
If da back half wants to war-dance
Whilst da fwont half walks on shelves

I can't help it when youse cuggle us
If ours middle bits goes all floppy
Its not me who bites your face mom,
I's da one who's always soppy

And when the two of me is playing
Frew da tube and wound da bend
I'm the one who always has
Our tail dangling out the uffer end

And when da two of me is playing
We's not the one to scold and smack
I's not da one who takes da flesh off
I just twies to put it back

And whilst we talk da dweadful subject
"See that poop" we hears you say
How comes you blames Wolypolecat?
I neva miss his litter tway

I's finding life confusin' aren't we
Half of me 's a snugglebun
Experts ses it is my horrormones
So dey snipped my bits off dat was fun (not)

So beware yous fuzzy fellows
Don't twy Bonky in Mommy's sight
Don't you roll about in pee pee
And never ever EVER bite

Cos when your mom comes off da 'puter
Den you hear da wing wing bell
Mista vet ses week next Tuesday
Grab your bits and wun like h***!