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| I'm the Father | ||||||||
| Up until recently, I though it was pretty much decided that Jamie Lynn Spears's dumbass boyfriend was the father of her child. I thought that was all figured out and there were no problems. Well, apparently not. I was at the grocery store a couple weeks ago and saw a magazine with the following front page article headline "Casey Aldridge Not the Father?". I couldn't believe it. Then about a week ago, I saw a very similar headline. For Odin's sake people. You know what, with all the confusion, I'm going to admit it to everyone. It was me. I knocked up Jamie Lynn Spears. I'm the father. I'm really sorry to all the little brats who watch her bullshit show, "Zoey 101." I realize that someone knocking up your apparent role model probably wasn't the best thing for you. The good new is: I don't have to pay child support. That asshole, Aldridge, probably will. Also, in my defense, it's fairly common for a Spears to get preganant. I mean, just look at Brittany. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't be surprised at all if Bryan Spears got pregnant pretty soon. Back to my main point, get ready American citizens, because I won't rest until I've knocked up every sixteen-year-old celebrity I can find. Back to the Gospel Back to Home |
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| If you just got a boner, congrats on being straight. | ||||||||