2. How about just watching some TV. Anything will do (I recommend JAG with those incredibly good looking men just like...someone else I'm not thinking of.) You could watch Star Trek if it weren't for the Vulcans!
3. Forget the television altogether. Try listening to some music. Just as long as it isn't the LOTR soundtracks or anything by Enya, Howard Shore or anything that is Celtic/Scottish/Irish, etc. Or anything sung by young good looking men or any 80's rock (c'mon, you'd think of that long blond hair and you'd be gone.) Also no love songs! I think you know why. Moving right along...
4. Maybe music isn't such a good idea. How about reading a book? Can't go wrong there. Obviously no Tolkien or fantasy or westerns for the aforementioned reasons. That doesn't leave much. A trashy romance? Uh no...we know what kind of ideas those would inspire.
5. There are plenty of other things to read out there. Try one of the many different magazines such as Dirtbike. It's chock full of pics and stories of fearless, agile young men...fearless....agile...er...how about Better Homes and Gardens? Just articles about perfectly manicured lawns full of willowy trees and waterfalls. *eyes glaze over* Something reminiscent of Rivendell...elves...Legolas...*wakes up* Uhhh where was I?
6. You know what? Forget modern conventional entertainment. Try playing a card game where all you have are a few symbols and the faces of royalty. Hmmm...royalty...Prince of Mirkwood...
7. Maybe a board game! Try a classic like Clue where there's all those crazy people like Miss Scarlet, Professor Plum and Mister Green...like the color of the elven cloaks given to the Fellowship...and Legolas...*slaps forehead* Okay! I know I can come up with something that doesn't remind me of...that elf.
8. Maybe nourishment is needed. Chocolate is always good. I had a teacher who heard that chocolate helps people think but I heard that it produces the same feeling as being in love by way of chemicals in the body (or something like that). Besides, we all know how women react to eating chocolate: tipping back their head, closing their eyes in rapture and a sensously uttered, "Mmmmmm" and of course that reminds me of my reaction to...that elf.
9. Before I eat dessert...*mind drifts, mischievious grin appears* Uhh...I mean dessert like the food, yeah um, anyway, before that maybe some pasta would be good. It would give me some energy to help me focus and recover from the addiction. But there are so many fun types of pasta to decide from. I could eat penne, twists or shells or even angelhair pasta...*wistful voice* angelhair....
10. Maybe not eating would be good. Fasting has been used as something to help people focus on things and reflect. You just have to be very careful that you don't focus on you-know-what-elf. However, I have heard of people hallucinating after fasting also...but wouldn't a hallucination of Legolas be fun?! As close to him as we'd ever get (seeing as how he's a fictional character and all.) Dangit I'm supposed to be forgetting him.
11. Okay...I can do this...and so can you! Getting out of the house would be a great way to distract yourself. Whatever you do, don't go to a forest or river. Try going to the desert (except you'd see mirages) maybe the beach would be a better idea. Stay away from the warm beaches because there may be long blond haired surfers or such. Go to a colder beach, then you could just watch the stormy blue water that reminds me so much of those intense eyes...
12. You know what? Forget everything I've said. Sit at home and stare at a blank wall. Make sure there's no sound or smells or anything to trigger any of the five senses. Don't ever move from that spot. Make sure you aren't thinking of anything either. Hmmm...come to think of it you might want to be in a coma. Actually a vegetative state probably would be best. Just have a friend or relative knock you in the head with a large, blunt object and viola!
This message was brought to you by the Cure for the Legolas Obsession Foundation. Because we care...and because we want him all to ourselves!