MAN LAW
1) When toasting, touch bottles, not tops 2) Crunching beer cans on forehead is lame 3) High-5 stays until a replacement is found 4) Girl breaks up with your best friend she is breaking up with you, unless she is drop-dead gorgeous, then 6-months until you are allowed to date her. If he dumps her, it is a 6-day waiting period. 5) Tuck Rule: Take one beer home if it will fit in your pocket 6) You poke it, you own it 7) It takes a real man to cry, unless that man is crying like a sissy 8) There are no "bad hair" days, only "baseball cap" days 9) There is a 15 minute maximum for a man to prepare himself to go out at night 10) A man shall never ask another man if the shirt that he is wearing makes him look fat 11) A man must pour one ounce of his beer into coals while grilling 12) If a snake catches a man off guard, it is totally acceptable for the man to scream once 13) A man shall never give up on his team until they are officially eliminated 14) Remember that looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, quick glances 15) There are no leftovers when eating steak 16) It is completely acceptable for a man to use his dog as a wingman 17) The wearing of socks with sandals is henceforth forbidden 18) Your house, Your rules 19) When there is a tornado or hurricane coming, grab a beer and run outside and watch it 20) Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday are for Football 21) No man is to wear a beret unless it is required for their services 22) A man has bragging rights if his teams defeats the team of another until the next meeting of the two teams 23) When lifting weights it is ok for a man to wear compression shorts under his gym shorts. However, a man shall never wear compression shorts alone 24) Men don't listen to Sammy Hagar songs 25) It is okay to cry when a song is played, but only if you are drunk, and the song is a country tune by Cash, Haggerd and the like. It is not okay if you are drunk and start crying because the song playing was "your and her's special song" 26) Bros before hoes 27) No man shall eat anything smaller than his pinky, unless it is candy, beans, peas, or popcorn 28) The only exceptable food is carb-heavy, cholestorol heavy protien, when eating with other men 29) No man shall ride in a yellow car, unless it is a taxi 30) A man is allowed to own and operate a garden, but he must refer to it as farming 31) No man should ask another man to help him move unless he has known him for over a year. A case of beer will we required as payment upon the sucessful move. 32) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question 33) Come to a man with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for 34) Anything that needs to be said can wait for commercials 35) Christopher Columbus did not read directions, and neither will you 36) If it itches, it will be scratched 37) Foreign films are best left to foreigners (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway) 38) Standard Shotgun Rules apply at all times 39) No guest is permitted to sit in host's Lay-z-boy 40) No man shall bring his female counterpart to a poker game 41) Anything that can't be fixed, built, or updated without reading the instructions is simply an evil ploy of the devil/woman and should be destroyed immediately. 42) Breaking something expensive at a friend's party will result in a suspension or removal from future parties 43) A man must be able to throw the remote as well as he throws a football. Any incomplete or fumbled throws of the remote are the sole result of a failed catch.
MAN LAW PAGE 2
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