Mark Paris vs. Gryphon
Blindfold Match for the AGW World Title
from AGW Lethal Lottery (April 10, 1999)

Zoltan: That's right, 64 teams, put together at random, will face off in a huge tournament! And at stake are shots at almost every AGW Title...including the coveted World Heavyweight Title, currently held by the ICON, Gryphon. But will Gryphon be the champ by the end of the show?

Tony: That's what we're about to find out, your Lordship. Because in an unprecedented move, we're actually going to OPEN the show with the first of two match-ups for the World Title! Gryphon is going to defend his title against the man he defeated for the belt at Corporate Pursuit, Mark Paris!

Zoltan: Gryphon ended Paris' record-breaking run with the World Title at Corporate Pursuit, but the match wasn't without controversy. Paris claimed that he was injured in an explosion earlier in the show, and was not at 100% when he met the ICON in the main event. Tonight, neither man will have an excuse...unless you count the blindfold thing..

Tony: That's right...Gryphon demanded that this match be a BLINDFOLD MATCH...for reasons known only to himself.

Zoltan: He's probably just a big Jake Roberts fan. In any case, this crowd is hyped for the show...

(The camera cuts to shots of the ringside crowd, where a huge group of DoM fans have hung a "FEAR OUR MEDIOCRITY" banner over the guardrail. A couple seats down, a man (presumably) is seen wearing a trenchcoat and a big, floppy hat.)

Zoltan: Uh-oh...looks like we've got ourselves a flasher. Better call security..

Tony: Yeah, we wouldn't want some sicko to interrupt the GREATEST OPENING TITLE MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!!

Zoltan: You can't help it, can you? Alright, enough talk...let's get this show on the road!

This contest is a No-countout, No DQ, No time limit Blindfold Match scheduled for one fall.
It is for the AGW World Heavyweight Title.

(The crowd gives a lecherous pop as Corporate Commissioner Jenna Jameson slinks down to ringside.)

Jenna Jameson: And now...the moment you've all been waiting for! The moment when Gryphon's joke of a title reign finally comes to an end! Ladies and gentlemen, the true wrestling ICON, Speed Racer, proudly presents the man who's gonna make it happen! Tonight, he's led to the ring by Rachel Morris....he hails from Cleveland, Ohio, and weighs in tonight at a rock hard 237lbs! Lades and gentlemen, your next World Heavyweight Champion...

"THE HARDCORE REVOLUTIONARY" MARK PARIS!!!!

(The lights dim, blue strobes cover the arena floor, and "The Great American Nightmare" by Rob Zombie and Howard Stern blasts over the speakers. A tidal wave of boos goes through the crowd as Rachel Morris leads Mark Paris down to the ring...by the hand. He's already wearing the blindfold hood, and seems to be having some trouble navigating. Jenna slides out of the ring to join the commentary team.)

Tony: Well, Miss Jameson, would you mind explaining why Paris is already wearing the hood?

Zoltan: Shut up...Miss Jameson, it is truly an honor to be sitting next to a film star of your magnitude. I've seen all your movies...many, many times..

Tony: Oh please...

Jenna: Well, it's great to be here, Zolty. Can I call you Zolty?

Zoltan: Call me whatever you want....

Jenna: And Tony, Mr. Paris has been in intensive training for this match. He's been wearing that hood for the last 24 hours, and has sworn that he won't remove it until he regains the title that was STOLEN from him at Corporate Pursuit!

Tony: Then he's gonna have some problems if he comes up short here. If he wants that title back, he'll have to go through the ICON to get it!

(Dave Penzer steps into the ring.)

Dave Penzer: And his opponent...

(The crowd comes to it's feet as heavy metal music blasts over the speakers...)

Penzer: Hailing from Parts Unknown, and weighing in at 360lbs...here is the AGW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION....

"THE ICON"....GRYPHON!!!!

(Gryphon makes his way down to the ring to a standing ovation. Referee Michael Kwoleck places a hood over his head.)

Tony: Looks like we're about to get this underway...

The bell rings. The match begins.
Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris.
Gryphon is getting closer.
Zoltan: Hopefully the match is gonna get better then this....

Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris.
Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a chokeslam.
Gryphon kicks Mark Paris.
Gryphon punches Mark Paris.

Zoltan: Hey Tony, you might actually be able to call this one.

Tony: Yeah, I think I just might be...HEY!

Mark Paris begs off.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris.
Gryphon gets a chokehold on Mark Paris.
Mark Paris is valiantly trying to break the hold.
Mark Paris is inching his way towards the ropes.
Mark Paris breaks the hold after 22 seconds.
Mark Paris backs away from Gryphon.

Tony: And the World Champion comes on strong in the early going. Jenna, your man seems to be in trouble...

Jenna: Looks can be deceiving Tony. The Corporate Champ has the situation under control...

Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris.

Jenna: See? He can't hit what he can't find!

The crowd yells out Mark Paris' location.

Jenna: DAMMIT!

Gryphon is almost there.
Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris.
Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a forearm.
Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a body slam.
Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a back suplex.
Gryphon is going for the pin.
Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, kickout.
Mark Paris tries to back away from Gryphon, but gets caught.
Gryphon hits a Hotshot on Mark Paris.
Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a kick.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris.
The crowd is behind Gryphon all the way.

Jenna: Bunch of ingrates....

Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a fisherman suplex.
Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, kickout.
Gryphon puts Mark Paris in a choke-lift.
Mark Paris tries to fight the pain.
Mark Paris is almost gone.
Michael Kwoleck checks his arm.
He lifts it...it falls.
He lifts it...it falls.
Rachel Morris enters the ring and nails Gryphon.
Gryphon lets go of the hold after 29 seconds.

Tony: Well, I'll admit I wanted to see Gryphon win this thing...but even I didn't think it would be this easy. Paris isn't even trying.

Jenna: Well...well...the, uh...blindfold...is obviously cutting off his oxygen! Yeah, that's it! Hey ref, check the hood!

Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris.
Mark Paris bumps into Gryphon.

Zoltan: And Paris with his first offense of the night! Sort of...

Gryphon hits Mark Paris.
The crowd explodes.
Gryphon chops Mark Paris.
Gryphon kicks Mark Paris.
Mark Paris tries to run away, but gets caught.
Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a back suplex.
Gryphon whips Mark Paris into the turnbuckle.
Gryphon charges in with a forearm.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris with a Tombstone.
Gryphon nails Mark Paris with an elbowdrop.
A large "Gryphon" chant is being started.
Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a knee to the back.
Gryphon executes a backbreaker on Mark Paris.
Gryphon uses a forearm smash on Mark Paris.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris with a clothesline.
Mark Paris falls out of the ring.

Tony: This is getting ridiculous. Paris has mounted no offense whatsoever...

Jenna: I'm telling you, there's something wrong with the hood...

Tony: Don't give me that! Now that I think about it...there's something strange about Paris...

Jenna: I think you're seeing things, fat boy...

Zoltan: Heads up folks...we've got company...

(A wane of boos go through the crowd as Corporate members Joshua Gardner, Ricky Thompson, and Goldberg come down to ringside. Meanwhile, Ash Tre, the Godfather, and Hollywood Fenris form a human barricade at the entrance.

Joshua Gardner throws Mark Paris back into the ring.

Tony: Ok, I want to know what the hell's going on around here?

Jenna: Geez, don't be so paranoid, fatty. The Corporation just offered to provide some security for this match. We don't want anyone interrupting this 4 star classic, do we?

Tony: And why are all of Paris' buddies actually down at ringside now?

Jenna: They're...uh...checking for plastic explosives. You can't be too careful.

Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris.
Mark Paris begs off.
The crowd yells out Mark Paris' location.
Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris.
Gryphon chops Mark Paris.
The crowd erupts.
Gryphon kicks Mark Paris.
Gryphon hits Mark Paris with a hiptoss.
Gryphon has the crowd going wild.
Gryphon gets a bearhug on Mark Paris.
Mark Paris is struggling to reach the ropes.
Ricky Thompson enters the ring and nails Gryphon.

Tony: Aw, come on! I thought these guys were looking for bombs...

Zoltan: You believed that? God, what a moron...

Ricky Thompson slaps Gryphon.
Gryphon tries to shove Ricky Thompson, but he gets out of the way.
Ricky Thompson hits Gryphon with a low blow.
Ricky Thompson takes Gryphon down with a piledriver.
Ricky Thompson puts Mark Paris on top of Gryphon.
Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Ricky Thompson leaves the ring.
Mark Paris backs away from Gryphon.

Tony: I don't get it? Paris is acting like he's scared of Gryphon...

Jenna: He's just picking his shots, chubby.

Gryphon is looking for Mark Paris.
Joshua Gardner enters the ring and lays out Gryphon.
Gryphon tries to hit Joshua Gardner, but he ducks out of the way.
Joshua Gardner pushes Gryphon into Mark Paris.
Mark Paris takes Gryphon down with a DDT.

Zoltan: And Paris with a VERY sloppy DDT for his first offensive move of the night!

Gryphon gets right back up.

Zoltan: Well...I didn't say it was GOOD offense...

Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a faceslam.
Gryphon puts Mark Paris in a chokehold.
Gryphon lets go after 11 seconds.
Gryphon executes a power bomb on Mark Paris.
Bill Goldberg enters the ring and nails Gryphon with a spear.
Bill Goldberg puts Mark Paris on top of Gryphon.
Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, KICKOUT!
Gryphon executes a roundhouse right on Mark Paris.
Gryphon nails Mark Paris with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Gryphon goes for the pin.
Michael Kwoleck counts: One, two, Joshua Gardner makes the save.

Tony: This is getting ridiculous. It's four on one in there!

Zoltan: Five on one...you forgot Rachel.

Tony: No I didn't. Paris is the only one who isn't doing any damage to the Champ.

Gryphon bumps into Mark Paris.
Gryphon hits a headbutt on Mark Paris.
Gryphon takes Mark Paris down with a gorilla press.
Ricky Thompson comes from behind, but Gryphon nails Ricky Thompson.
Gryphon sets Mark Paris up for the Cliff Hanger.
The crowd is behind Gryphon all the way.
Joshua Gardner and Bill Goldberg enter the ring and attack Gryphon.
They throw Gryphon out of the ring.
Joshua Gardner whips Gryphon into the ringpost.
Bill Goldberg hits Gryphon with the ringbell.
Joshua Gardner and Bill Goldberg hit Gryphon with a double clothesline.
Ricky Thompson comes over to make it 3 on 1.

Jenna: Hey, I think they found a bomb!

Tony: Please...this is the most disgusting thing I've ever witnessed. It's truly a dark day in the history of our sport...

Zoltan: You'd say that if Gryphon stubbed his toe. Still, this is getting to be a bit much...

(Gardner, Thompson, and Goldberg continue to to abuse Gryphon at ringside. Finally, using a flurry of punches, Gryph manages to put some distance between himself and the Corporation. Enraged, he tears the hood off. The crowd explodes.)

Jenna: Hey! He can't do that! It's against the rules...

Tony: And he's taking advantage of the No-DQ stipulation! Get 'em, Champ!

(Gryphon lays into Thompson, as Gardner and Goldberg back off. He rolls back into the ring, and stands over the sill unconscious body of Paris. He hesitates...)

Tony: He seems to think something's out of the ordinary, too...

Zoltan: Now that you mention it...something's definitely different about Paris.

Jenna: Argh, what are you two on? Of course that's Paris!

Zoltan: WE never said it wasn't. Why so defensive, Jenna?

Jenna: Um...no reason...

(Gryphon reaches down and pulls the hood off of Paris....)

Tony: That's funny...I don't remember Paris having red hair...actually, that doesn't look like Paris at all...

Jenna: I don't know what you're talking about...

Tony: That's....THAT'S NOT PARIS! THAT'S KID INFERNO! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Zoltan: I think it's pretty obvious, Tony. And...wait, we've got movement at ringside. Here comes the flasher...cover your eyes, kids! Jenna, I'll protect you...

Jenna: WATCH THE HANDS!

(As Gryphon looks down at the body of Kid Inferno, trying to figure out what's going on, the "flasher" jumps over the guardrail, shedding the coat and hat to reveal...MARK PARIS! Grabbing a chair, Paris slides into the ring and nails Gryph between the shoulder blades. Gryph staggers forward, tries to turn around, and is met with another brutal chairshot by Paris. He falls to his knees, and pair of wicked shots with the chair send him slumping to the ground. Amazingly, he tries to pull himself back to his feet, and Paris rains several more bone-crushing shots down across his back.)

Tony: This is disgusting! This...this...

Jenna: Is totally legal, Tony. That ol' No-DQ stip, remember?

Tony: This was a setup the whole time!

Jenna: Well, duh.

(Paris continues raining chairshots down on Gryphon, until the World Champion has stopped moving. Finally, Paris throws down the chair and stands over the body of Gryphon, as trash rains down from the crowd.)

Mark Paris gives the sign for the Extreme Measure.

Tony: Enough is enough! Gryphon's already out cold!

Mark Paris executes the Extreme Measure on Gryphon.
Gryphon isn't moving.
Michael Kwoleck refuses to check.

Tony: Kwoleck realizes he's totally lost control of this one...he doesn't even know what to do now...

Zoltan: He's shaking his head...I don't think he's gonna let this go!

Jenna: Hey, the match was signed as Paris vs. Gryphon. Paris has Gryphon in the Extreme Measure, now Kwoleck just needs to do his job and RING THE DAMN BELL!!!

(The boos get even louder as Speed Racer runs down to ringside.)

Tony: Great...this just keeps getting worse.

Zoltan: Hey, I'm not happy about it either, but this has to stop. While Kwoleck's wrestling with his conscience, Gryphon's been in the Extreme Measure for well over a minute!

(Speed jumps up on the apron and begins yelling at Kwoleck. The ref shakes his head and starts yelling back.)

Jenna: SOMEBODY'S gonna be looking for a new job Monday morning...

(Speed pulls out a contract and shoves it in Kwoleck's face. The ref tries to protest again, but gets shouted down. Although he's not wearing a mic, his shouts can be heard over the roar of the crowd, ending in "NOW GET IN THERE AND DO YOUR F**KING JOB...OR FIND ANOTHER ONE!!!" Shaking his head, Kwoleck goes over to check Gryphon's arm...)

He lifts it...it falls.
He lifts it...it falls.

Tony: Not like this...I can't believe it's going to end like this...

He lifts it...it falls.
Michael Kwoleck stops the fight after 2 minutes.

The winner is Mark Paris. Time of the match: 0:17:23

Tony: Damn! That was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen...

Jenna: Ah, quit your whining. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new Champion...the Corporate Champion...Mark Paris! What an amazing comeback...

Zoltan: You know, I hate to agree with Tony, but he's right. That was just sick!

Jenna: Blow me.

Zoltan: Can I?

Jenna: Ugh...you boys are gonna have to excuse me. I've got a party to attend.

(Jenna gets up, grabs the World Title, and proceeds into the ring, where Speed Racer and the Corporate Clique are celebrating. She proudly presents the belt to Paris, who along with the other Clique members, take to the turnbuckles to taunt the crowd.)

Tony: This is a dark day in our---

Zoltan: SHUT UP! That's like the third time you've said that. Even though you're right...that sure is a lot of gold in that ring, though...

Tony: Yeah...and almost all of it was stolen some way or another...

Zoltan: You've got a point...