December, 19 2001 - Me and Gerry were just talking about paying your bills and how it almost hurts when you do your check book and you watch your balance go steadily down in huge subtractions. All that money you make seemed like alot when you were living in your parents house, but then, all of a sudden, you have bills to pay, and no you feel like you're poor at the end of the month. But don't be fooled, folks, it's a trap. You're not actually poor. If you were poor you would't be able to make those seemingly sinister, huge bills like the car note and the rent; and in my case, student loans. It's a trap that no one made, but that you can still fall into. like quicksand. No body really put it there, but you can still fall in and be trapped. it seems like you're poor at the end of the month, so you might stress about money, an that causes all kinds of problems. just remember, if you were really poor, you wouldn't be able to eat, or live in that comfy apartment that you have, or drive that little car that gets you were you need to go like a reliable friend.(or not, depending on your situation).

December, 17 2001 - We went christmas shopping yesterday at Willowbrook mall. We were ther like all day and our feet be hurtin'. Anyway, while we were there, something crazy happened. It was about 8:00 pm and we were looking for something for my cousin's kids, when, de repente, the entire mall went black. All the lights went out and the entire mall had a blackout! There were little kids screaming for their mommies and stuff and everybody was sayin stuff like "oh my God, what's going on??" and me and sarah held on to each other so we wouldn't get lost. We figured if it lasted any longer, then there would be looting, so we made our way out. On the way out, we passed the food court and saw everyone congregated at the exit doors. We looked outside and saw that it was raining like there was huricane. We figured that must be why the lights went out and we parked too far away that we would get drenched if we tried to leave, so we sat at a table and hung out for a little while. The lights eventually came back on and we just went shopping again. We found out that nobody was looting; the stores had all locked their registers and brought down their gates during the blackout. we thought that was wise. the mall had pretty much emptied by then, so we had free run of the mall and no crowds. It was cool.

December, 14 2001 - I been looking for more punk music to listen to while I'm at work. I like listening to punk at work because it reminds me not to get swallowed up by all the corporate stuff around me all day. It's not all bad. I just like to remember that I'm here because I want to be here - not because I NEED to be here, you know. Like, I apreciate what money I'm making, and I apreciate having a job in such hard times, but I like to remember that no one owns me. I think it's good to remember that if and when the threat of layoffs (or something worse) comes closer to me, I can remember that they don't own me or owe me anything, so I can leave with peace and look for new work with a clear head. I can remember that I'm not defined by my job, so I won't feel like I've lost my identity.

I don't know anyone that actually feels that way, but sometimes it seems like it would be easy for myself to begin to feel that way. I go to work everyday and do the same thing, eventually I believe that I get good at it, which leads to associating myself with that work and so I begin to identify myself with it. As fragile as the joob maket is right now, I can see how I can hurt myself by doing that. Then I hear songs with artist screaming and cursing at me and telling me that I'm a sheep in a racist, greedy society, it helps to pull me back out to reality. It doesn't make me hate the corporate world, it just helps me to appreciate the real world also. Good ol' Punk (ska rocks like that, too, and so does bjork).

December, 12 2001 - We didn't take our rank test for Karate class. We couldn't. We'll just have to wait until Febuary, I guess. It's probably better this way, though. It's not like we had the money to pay for it anyway. We want a house, now. Like we REALLY want a house. We want it to give a yard to our kitties, to be able to barbecue (mostly vegetables) and to be able to make it the way we want it. One day. Maybe not even in Houston. But someday, somewhere, we want to have a cool-ass house. We'll keep trying.

December, 10 2001 - Well, It's finally slowed down a little. now we can see if we can get some shit done. Not that we haven't been doing anything, but...you know what I mean. What do you want for christmas? Myslef, I think I just wanna be able to keep my head up this christmas without going into debt or stressing myself into another ulcer. Also, I would like for my computer to work like it should. I haven't turned it on yet, I've just been building it. I really hope it works okay and that I didn;t break anything. We'll see, I guess.

December, 4 2001 - Squirrel Nut Zippers kinda rock. At least, that's my opinion.