February 28, 2002 - FotoFest is comming again. Openings seem to start tomorrow. I love fotofest. I'm glad that there are people in this world who have all the resources at their disposal and the love for photography enough to put it all together. It's one of the things that makes me proud that I'm a Houstonian. It's one of the ONLY things that keeps me wanting to stay. Houston doesn't have an art fair, the way other cities do, but we have lots of other stuff. The Art Crawl that showcases all the galleries and studios around the wharehouse district, the affore-mentioned FotoFest, the Bayou City Art Festival, and then there was always West Fest - before it was exiled from Montrose (damned yuppies). When I was in High School, there was such a tight art community and going to art openings was a blast cuase everyone knew each other, but there were still lots of people to meet. They were almost all local artists. There was so much talent in this city. They weren't all from here, but let's say they were Houstonians.

These days we get alot more exposure to art all over the country and around the world. Still, I miss the small community. Don't we all though. things are still exciting, and there's still alot of talent here. Thing is, for a while, I could see a "houston" aesthetic emerging from all the close contact with each other. But maybe it was just a late-eighties, early-nineties vibe that I was getting. Anyway, things seem to be a little different, but that could be that I feel like I'm out of the loop now. I'll try to get back in it to see how things have gotten.

February 26, 2002 - So I need to start working again. By working, I mean "photography". I have a job, but I need to get to my work. I haven't worked in almost a year. I think I stopped working becasue I became content. I'm happy with Sarah, I'm happy in my job, I'm happy with the apartment and my car... I have no angst! I have nothing to complain about. Do I need to be angry to make art? Do I need to be discontented to produce work? If I am, indeed content, do I even need ot make work? Why do I make it? I don't think I do it to make myslef feel better. I always felt like I did it because I had an idea and I wanted to see it manifested physically. But now that I'm happy, does that mean I have no more ideas? Ideas are only given to those who suffer? So if I want to be productive, do I have to make myself unhappy? What's the point of that?

No, that can't be it. I should be able to produce work even though I'm not starving, afraid, or hated every day. Actually, I gues I am in small amounts. I guess everyone is. I still feel vulnerable sometimes, and I still feel like I need something every now and then. I think that I should be able to persue art while I'm content with my life. Angry art isn't the only option. Maybe stuff made out of anger and fear is not the most productive work, afterall. Maybe there is another way to respond to the world.

February 19, 2002 -

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

February 16, 2002 - Man oh man. It seems like nothing wants to work on my machine. It must be this crazy OS. It doesn't seem to wanna be freindly with any of the devices. Aw man! It's pissing me off!!!! so bad that I went ot the trouble of opening this connections and editting this page just so I could write this and vent my frustrations. I can't believe a thing like this can get me so mad. I haven't been this mad in a loooong time. I guess the thing that made me the maddest was that I couldn't get control of the situation. More than likely, it's probably not the machine, it's just my lack of knowledge about how to operate it at maximum efficiency. But then I still wanted to rip out the video card and crush it in my hands to feel everything fall apart between my fingers. Why do I want to be so violent?! Is that just in me and I don't know it? Have I just been stressd lately? I don't have these feelings towards people, but for some reason I have this intense violent tendency towards inanimate objects. Maybe this is my curse; the thing that I try to get really good at is the thing that I have the least patience with. Maybe one day I'll be able to go through a a crazy system error without cursuiing like an old man.

February 7, 2002 - We finally got broadband! Wooohoooo! It rocks my socks. I love it. I just have to figure out everyhting about it an I'll be aaaaalright. Now I feel like I can be the most productive, but I really don't know what I'd do. Well, now I don't have any excuse not to update my weekly pictures site amd put up some pix from San Francisco. I guess that's a start, right?

February 4, 2002 - It's gonna be different now that Sarah's working almost full time. She's not gonna be home and there's gonna be almost nothing for me to do. I'm probably gonna start cleaning once I get tired of playing video games, but I'd still rather have that time with Sarah. I could also try to get productive with some photography. That's always a good use of time. Still, I know she's gonna be tired from working all that much and then going to school and trying to do everything else she's trying to do. I wish I could make it all better and make it all go away, but it's all stuff she has to do, it doesn't have a whole lot to do with me. I guess all I can do is to keep things running for her so she doesn't have to deal with anything once she gets home. It's gonna be a long semester, I think.