I have began reading this to Lee as well as every one's  good wishes from the web page - I will finish yesterday as T-Bone grilled steaks, baked potatoes and mushrooms and brought this to the apt of which Lee all but licked his plate clean - friends mean so much to all of us and to Lee it is a holiday when someone comes and sees him -

Today was today - it was one of the hardest days I have had - it took forever for us to see him after surgery - then with all the drugs he was very confused and agitated - thanks to  Teresa  I got through the morning very well - and she would not leave until she saw you - I am better than people think -  I can at times hold my tears until I am alone as that is a deep cry - dad finally understood what you wanted - call Looren - and a drink of water without ice - then all afternoon other words came out of which neither he nor I knew even during our last and  final visit for the night - the charge nurse had a desk just in front of your room and this made me feel very good - you are his patient for the night - and this I hope will help me sleep tonight as our day began @4:00am - and it is almost 10:00 pm now - I hope when we bring you back here out of your medical world you will calm down as it breaks my heart not having a clue to what you are wanting or saying - but walking alone with sunglasses on and tears flowing free with a silent prayer -God just help me to understand and let Lee give me  the words or expressions to help me. . this is selfish but I can not stand the hurt in his eyes and on his face as they are simple words but without my understanding - so tomorrow will be a great day - you are to get out of ICU - room #2 (this has always been your number) so that to made me feel good - when things are good dad did it and when things are bad then it is my fault - but I know in my heart he just can not stand not being able to help you  so he has to blame someone and I am that someone - I am beginning to take deep breathes as I know I must go home - I am trying to get someone to help dad with you chair as this will be the only be the only challenge the two of you will have - Now Lee relax tonight and sleep, I know the pain is tough but the rewards are so great you can not imagine - Lee is on the road home and each and everyday after therapy - 5 steps mom, 5 steps - and yes that is right - then we can go home - Lee my heart and soul are with you tonight - may the pain fade away and you rest - rest Lee relax and go to your happy place - riding slow watching butterflies - ride Lee ride. . . sleep tight - sleep pain free. . . . love mom