Could not wait to see you today, want to know if the medication is working for the infection and of course no doctors - leaving in IV until tomorrow - this is good as tomorrow is the 4th and we are going to the parking deck and see the fire works show - then you start to cry - just saying you remember last year - and I do not - but I know and you say why you are crying - it hurts me more than the wreck, as I can see you are getting better, but a broken heart - only you and time can fix - and one day son I promise this to will heal - but you do not agree - you just cry and cry - I ask would it be better if I took the picture home, and you say "No, mom please" - I can always just look at her pictures - and then you ask me to bring you more - I agree - but in my heart I hope you forget - I just do not think at this time you need more pictures - the one is enough - then you notice the picture of you and Hunter - and say I want "that" whole picture - I say OK, not even sure where it came from - Liz I think - but when I go home I will bring back the "whole" picture - You ate a very good supper and of course Mama Fu's - maybe tomorrow I can find you some Hot and Sour Soup - even in this weather - then is is almost time to leave - and you are crying again - I do not and can not say anything at this time - just cry - I know how a broken heart hurts - I never realized just how heart broken you are - but seeing you every day and you bringing this up - I know now that this must be talked about more - the more open something is the better to understand - but  in being a mother - if there were one thing I wish you did not have to go through and that is HEART BREAK - I think that being not able to talk or see her at all does not help - it only  makes it worse - before all this you were better being able to talk to her every now and then - as I knew you talked - Lee we have been through so much and have so much to finish - we all can finish this also - be strong (easier said than done) and maybe this is why you want to go to the farm so bad - this to will be done - we have decided to build a cabin - maybe add on to what we have or just start over - not sure -  this is why after we go to Pathways and I get you and dad settled - I have a lot of work to do at home - I will have no choice but to stay longer and at least be able to get things done at home - I am so thankful for your friends - they are TRUE -  there  is  not a one that has  not called and checked on you - as is is sad for you to notice "family" not being here - you say you understand Jay, Jen and Hunter - but I know just how bad you want to see them, you know momie and papa call everyday, - you hear me talk to meme - today you asked was Liz still in school -  well, hang on as I hope all will be here the 21st - we all laughed as my turning the great "5-0" here on the 18th - but it does not matter - just as long as we are together - so now let's see if you and dad can remember - as this is a date you "three" have forgotten many, many times - and as ususal all got a laugh - especially the time you, Jay and Dad fixed supper June 18th - so proud - I waited until we had all finished eating and said "What is the occuation?" - and all said "we are not stupid, your birthday", yes, but a month early - the LOOK the three of you had - well, from that  - it was fun to me!!!!!  so Lee we will and can overcome this too, with the connection of friends, you will succeed and pass this - because you are a fighter and a winner - things happen as they are meant to be - I can say that now - for a reason, a reason we shall not ask why, just learn and grow from these happenings - keep your chin up, we all love you and will stand with you through it all, be good - sleep tight - we love you - see you tomorrow - early - you smile and hold my hand tight - say your prayers and it will be better - you smile and say I know that is right - love mom