We get in your room - very excited - connect your Ipod that is has taken me several days to prepare - you lay and listen - can see a very relaxed look on your face - you seem very relaxed - things have to remain at a low key - sounds bother you very much today - you have a headache - they give you tylenol - seem to be ok - you eat almost all your supper - I walk and get you a milkshake - but you say too sweet - laugh a lot today - which makes me feel very good - take you outside - you enjoy watching small children - and love to tell them hi - still sit by yourself - away from us a few feet - ready to go home is all you seem to say - just a few more weeks - they project 4 weeks of therapy - this is good - but then here comes the good bye - I leave in a hurry and stand in the hall - as you are crying and talking to Dad - saying please - get mom - I just can not walk back in because you get so upset when you see me cry - and say over and over - mom I did not hurt you, I promise I did not - knowing what you mean the tears just will not stop - Dad can walk out easier than me - as he believes that you will be ok in about 10 minutes (as the nurses say) but I can not - tonight I kiss your cheek in a hurry and all but run out before you get to crying very hard - because knowing me I would just settle sleeping on the floor and staying with you - than seeing you cry - even though I stood in the hall praying that God would help me not walk back in - and as dad walks out holding my arm - saying it will be ok - come on D - just walk fast - and he holds me as he hurts as much or more than I  do - go by grocery store and find some soup - will take it to you Sunday - oh just to see the look on your face when you eat all by yourself - and knowing this is one of your favorites - I do hope you eat this - as I am ready for the feeding tube to be gone - that i s all you have left connected from your "medical" world - you seem to understand the hard spot in your stomache - that it will be put back on your head - but as I told you I understand no more than you do - medical world is so very advanced - and it is God's choice that you are still here - as one day you will understand that you are a miracle - and that I am glad of - if just to see those pearly whites when we are in your room - makes my day - we know you have a long hard road - as you still do not believe you have been in a wreck - so in time we will face that  - love mom