Monday arrive at hospital early - always as I can not go back to sleep  - sleeping on  2 - 3 hrs - knowing I need to rest - as you are so lost and we must keep focused when in the room with you - Agitation is a word I am beginning to hate - all day we tie, untie - it hurts so much but if we don't out comes anything to do with your "medical world" - but yet all is live saving - and tears flow with every knot - Lee - please slow down - please- so confused - wrong words come out - sometimes you laugh - and sometimes you cry - and cry tears for hours at a time - If only this was a simple as when you were a baby with colic - no food for us today - you smell and want to drink - can not - so no time to leave one in the room as this takes both  - I kiss your cheek and say a good night prayer - you are not happy