Title: The Hunting of the... AW HELL! Or: Sometimes A Man Just Doesn´t Have A Choice

Feedback: Lara_Bee

Disclaimer: : The Magnificent Seven don't belong to me, they are the property of MGM, Trilogy and Mirisch Co. This story is for entertainment only. No profit is being made.

Rating: G, some words maybe

Notes: I´m no native speaker, so you may find some mistakes in it. If so please let me know. Silly little piece that appeared while I was on the phone with a fellow writer, and our imagination somehow got out of control (I wonder why...)

Summary: Some well known visitors are coming to see the boys again.

"This way. This way!"

"No, that way, that way..."

"Watch out... ouch."

"Damn, Ezra!"

"Mr. Tanner, I recommend you use those famous hunting skills of yours to actually catch these... these... fluffy creatures and not entertain them. They devastate my garments."

"Ezra, stop complainin´. Either help or git yerself outta the way."

Chris Larabee stepped out of the saloon, lit cheroot in one hand, shotglass of whiskey in another and watched the spectacle with growing amusement. He sat down on a chair and stretched his long legs out; curious of how Vin intended to get rid of the... well, whatever they were. "They" looked like little white fluffy long-eared pink-nosed... well... bunnies to him. Which wouldn't be that terrible, if it weren't for their number. They appeared out of thin air, and they were MANY!!

Now Vin, JD, Buck and Ezra were trying to either capture or get rid of them, by using whatever weapon or skill they were given. JD for example were sitting cross-legged on the porch, about a dozen of the creatures had gathered themselves around the young man, intently listening to the - jokes??? JD was telling them. As soon as their eyes had become glassy, they were easy preys for Buck.

Ezra was as successful in getting their attention by showing them tricks. Buck sweet-talked them into sitting still until he could get hold on them. Only Vin´s attempts appeared to be ineffective. Every time he approached one of these thingamajigs they merely grinned at him (broadly!) and hopped aside.

"Here you are Ezra," Buck grinned as he handed some of the animals he finally caught over at the indignant looking gambler, " put them into the cage. Oh, and make sure you separate the males from the females."

Ezra looked down at the innocent blinking creatures.

"A true gentleman does not debase himself in revealing... bunny gender."

"AW HELL! Enough is enough!"

Vin grabbed his mare's leg and cocked it at the creatures, which didn't seem to be impressed at all.

"BROTHER VIN!"

Josiah Sanchez had stepped out of the saloon to accompany Chris. His voice rumbled over the street and effectively stopped Vin.

"Vin, this is no way to treat harmless little creatures."

Vin turned around to stare at the preacher in sheer disbelief.

"Harmless? HARMLESS?? Little creatures?!?! Preacher, they're a pest!! They appear ev´rywhere! Even in my wagon! Even in the boardinghouse! Hell, what I've heard they even occupied the outhouse!! HARMLESS?!?! Tell me another one!"

"But Vin," JD cried, "They're cute."

That did it.

"Cute?? CUTE??? I give ´em cute... " The tracker started to point his gun at the remaining animals, which didn't even bother to stop sneering at him. Chris got the slight feeling they did it on purpose. He gulped down his whiskey and thought that now would be the best time to interfere.

"Vin."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Stop it."

Tanner glanced at him furiously, blinked a few times and slammed his gun to the ground, defeated.

"Aw hell." he muttered.

"Vin, you know it's useless."

"Yeah, I know. Jist wish they would stop that. Throw them damn bunnies at us all the time I mean."

"Yup, me too. But when they ever do that, we're out of a job."

Vin nodded. He knew that only too well, but that didn't necessarily mean he had to like it.
Fanfic writers. He sighed inwardly. Whenever there was the slightest opportunity the whole town got covered in plotbunnies. Vin shuddered, imagining some of then times. After the pilot, for example. And then there was the episode with him and Charlotte - after that they hadn´t been able to see the floor, for all the plotbunnies which appeared to rain down on them.
He grimaced as he thought about the episode JD had accidentally shot that young woman, and he himself had to admit he couldn´t read. Damn animals had covered each and every free spot in the town.
And poor Ezra, Vin couldn´t help from grinning, after the episode when they had discovered the ten thousand dollars. Poor guy was standing in bunnies up to his hat then.
He sighed again. Chris was right: they would be out of a job should it ever stop raining bunnies. That would mean they would be forgotten out there in the "real" world, that nobody bothered to write about them anymore. He picked up his gun and joined the others in front of the saloon, grimacing at the grinning bunnies a last time.

The fluffy animals twinkled at each other, as they watched the tracker, the gambler, the scoundrel, the preacher and the kid gather around each other again, sharing a bottle of whiskey at the saloon again, engaging themselves in a new game of card (and losing their money to the gambler again, of course.)

Yup, it had been a successful day for the plotbunnies.

Fini?