| Cockroach Diary |
| Poetry by Mike Monroe |
| Opening Doors I�ve been here too long my feet are starting to take root in the hard floor too many doors mind overload as I try to decide on my course I could just open a door and walk through leaving all inhibition behind me if I take too long to decide I might go nowhere I could weigh my options though all things have both good and bad aspects I stand trying to make my decision when I notice my feet have already started walking Begging for Help she looks at him smiling he never asked her for help with his mouth but his eyes and body do all the talking his closed mind says more than an open mouth could ever hope to say so she pulls on an arm trying to drag him out of his solitude he looks at her with scalded eyes eyes that say go away begging for help simultaneously speaking subconsciously several levels down from the part of his mind that knows what he needs and not just what he wants The Eyes of a Stranger the eyes of a stranger can say more than the eyes of a best friend someone looking at you for the first time without years or decades of time with you memories already in storage he sees you for the first time and you can see his immediate reaction you can see what the world truly thinks of you Higher I see the azure sky an eagle soaring high above like a king it lets out a regal cry I want to learn to fly step off the cliff edge and I can see the blue around me I�m in the sky soaring falling I look up at the soaring eagle as I fall back towards the black ocean crying tears of desperation wondering why I wasn�t given wings A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Lose you know you�re crazy when you can�t tell if you�re crazy people turn into robots you lose all feeling and thought focus on one thing usually death eyes like glazed black holes Steel Resilience the best thing about rock bottom is that there�s no cliff to fall from below the sea and the waves that crash into the shore below the water that drowns you you look up and see where you have to swim to not wanting to end up back in the same place but already knowing what to expect if you do Wandering my feet carry me to no particular place into the forest past the river up through the mountains the secret is enjoying the place I find myself listening to the birds chirping in the woodlands watching the water weave past slippery rocks looking at the world from a mountaintop ask me where I�m going and I�ll just shrug and point out the view you might be missing Forcing the Situation he�s surrounded by doors he�s seen what�s behind them all some locked some unlocked he�s chosen a locked door because he thinks he deserves what�s behind it he picks up a large log asks for some help starts trying to smash down the door it flies open he rushes in the nymphs he�d seen on the other side run away frightened by the noise of the log smashing into the door the room is empty but there are many doors and he finds himself back where he started Lost at Home it�s possible to get lost anywhere even sitting on the couch with your eyes closed search your mind and its infinite chambers and you�ll soon find that there aren�t many places you know Simulation there are many treacherous aspects of life and there are many rewards I�ve discovered that you can never really die in a video game but you never really gain anything either From the Outside in I realized that I�d been spending my life looking outside of myself at the world around me and other people wondering what was going on in their heads things I�d never know then I looked in the mirror this time I wasn�t shaving or combing my hair I was looking into my eyes I read text in my eyes that I�d never seen before words I didn�t know were there I read and then thought for a while I decided to do the most selfish thing anyone can do I decided to start living my life Straight Edge a razorblade slicing unwanted hair from a face slicing through stubble scissors chopping away years of growth clean cut and sober with a brain sharp like a razor |