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| 95 8/5/01 Losing It, Lost Day after day I sit here and wait, Till the time she comes home so we can go on a date, All these late nights with her on my mind, With all these miserable days thinking of what she�s doing to spend time, Harder and harder to get through each fucking day, This has been the longest we�ve been apart and I hate to say, There�s nothing in my life that is worth living for, Except for April who means oh so much more, The twitching the sweating getting worse in the week, The anger the depression almost at its peak, Building-up inside with some moments of explosion, Just to get through this all to reach some kind of salvation, Drew so much blood as I�m always feeling down, Getting to the point where I can�t be around, Everything I know has been turned upside-down around me, Things really need to go back to before this all like it should be, Damn my head hurts can�t all this go away, Why can�t I stop doing all these deranged things, The cutting the screaming the fucking voices don�t stop, Too many things could possibly go wrong over there, What if she doesn�t make it back which is one thing I couldn�t bare, I need to make it through this to she April once again, Even though this sharp blade is beginning to descend, Closer and closer to my wrist where I don�t want it to be, Need to make it through this because April loves me, Damn it this sucks and it�s becoming more and more clear, I�m losing it, Fuck it I lost it the thirteenth is no where near. |