| Chapter 28 Gail Baldwin found Monica sitting in bed rereading Alan�s letter for the hundredth time. Amy had long since picked up Monica�s uneaten meal. Gail had gotten word that Monica wasn�t eating and she had come to see if there was anything she could do for her friend. �How are you feeling?� Gail asked as she sat down in the chair beside Monica�s bedside. Monica looked up at Gail and asked, �How do you do it?� �Do what?� Gail asked sitting back a bit in the chair looking at Monica intently. �How do you keep on forgiving? I have done just everything for Alan. I thought our affairs were bad but this addition. It still is eating us alive. How do I get past it?� Monica asked. Gail nodded her head and thought about something for a moment. She then stood up with a purposeful look on her face and walked to the corner of the room to get a wheel chair. As she pushed the chair beside Monica�s bed she said, �Get in.� �Where are we going?� Monica asked as she climbed into the chair. �You�ll see,� Gail said smiling as she pushed the chair out of the room. Gail had taken Monica down a floor to where all the AA, Alanon and Alateen meeting were held. �What�s this?� Monica asked puzzled. Gail stopped the chair near a group of chairs and sat down on one of the benches. �Alan isn�t the only with a problem. You have one. Emily has one. In fact all you have one. Drug addiction and Alcoholism affect the entire family.� Gail said. �So, you think I need to attend meetings as well,� Monica said not sure she wanted to. She never thought of herself as having a problem. It was AJ and Alan that had the problems. Gail smiled and said, �You can do what you want. I can�t make you go but you want answers. You want to know how deal with all of this. Go in there and listen. We�ve all been there. It helps talking about and listening to others to realize that you aren't a lone. They have your answers. All you have to do is be open minded.� Monica looked surprised at Gail and asked, �You say we like you know how I�m feeling.� �I do. Lee is alcoholic remember? I have lied for him. I poured out his drinks to keep him from drinking. I have done it all. It wasn�t until I went to a meeting that I realized that I couldn�t save him. He has to save himself. I also realized what his sickness was doing to me personally and professionally,� Gail told her. Gail sat beside Monica waiting for her to decide on what she wanted to do. She had taken Monica this far. It was up to Monica to do the rest. Monica looked at Gail after a few moments and said, �Let�s go in.� �Good,� Gail said smiling as she got up and they headed into the room together. ******************************************* An hour later, Gail helped Monica back into her bed. Monica felt much better by just sitting there listening to the other woman talk about their own lives. Monica realized that she wasn�t alone. Others were out there dealing with the same problems as she was dealing with at that moment in time. �Here,� Gail said handing Monica two books. �What are they?� Monica asked looking at the books with wonderment. �They will help you deal with this. They give you words live by. Monica, AA does things a Step at a time and so do we. You can�t change things over night. You have take things slowly. If you want to fight for your marriage then fight for yourself first. Deal with things a battle a time but remember you can�t change what Alan did. You can�t save him and you can�t change him. He had to change himself,� Gail told her. �Except things the things that I can�t change,� Monica said quoting the serenity prayer. �And the courage to know the difference,� Gail said patting Monica on the shoulder before leaving the room. *************************** Alan had worked a double shift. He really didn�t care about the hours. He figured anything was better then going home listening to his father complain about how he missed up as a father. Alan was walking to his car when a man asked, �You Dr. Quartermaine?� Alan turned to see a man a few years older then Jason standing there looking at him. �Yes,� Alan said wondering what this man wanted with him. He was tired and really wanted to just go home and get some rest. He wasn�t in the mood to talk to know reporter. The man smiled and said, �I�m Ted Martin. Ah.. this might sound strange but I think we need to talk. It is about Skye Chandler and her father Adam.� Alan was taken back by this and said, �Ok. How about we go get some breakfast. I know a nice quiet diner.� �Ok, I need to call someone and tell them to meet us. You�ll understand why later,� Tad said. �Sure. You want to fallow me or do you mind me driving?� Alan asked. �No, you can drive,� Tad said walking closer to Alan�s car and the two men drove off together. ********************************* Later, in a quit corner of at Kelly�s diner, Alan and Tad sat waiting for Tad�s companions. �Do you mind giving me a clue at what is going on?� Alan asked Tad. Before Tad could reply the door opened and two women and a man that looked a lot like Adam walked into the room. Alan was more surprised to see one of the women then seeing Adam. �Rae?� Alan said getting up and walking to his old lover. �Hi,� Rae said walking up to Alan and hugging him. �What are you doing here?� Alan asked as they parted. �I�m here to set the record straight,� Rae said as she they walked towards the table. **************************** Emily went directly to the hospital from school. She found her mother sitting in a chair reading one of the books that Gail had given her. �Hi,� Monica said smiling brightly at her daughter as she walked into the room. �Mom?� Emily said shocked to see her mother out of bed with smile on her face. For a moment, Emily thought maybe that she had entered the wrong room. She had stopped in the door way for a moment to look at the number on the door to make sure just in case that she had entered the right room. �Yeah, I�m mother,� Monica said understanding Emily�s confused look on her face. She should be sad for the loosing her child that way. In away she was but this book that meeting helped Monica put her life in prospective. She now saw things a bit differently. �You look happy,� Emily said walking to her mother kissing her on the cheek before taking a seat across from her. �I am or I�m getting there,� Monica said glad to see Emily. She had been thinking about her and wondered if Emily might want to attend a meeting with her. She thought it might help Emily deal with a lot of her pent up anger towards her father. �That�s good,� Emily said unbuttoning her jacket just a bit. �What are you reading?� Emily asked as she noticed the book on her mother�s lap for the first time. Monica looked down at the book and then handed it to her daughter. �Gail gave it to me. It has a lot of good information in it.� Emily looked at the title and her eyes grew a bit cold. �What is it for?� Emily asked handing the book back to her mother. Monica took it as she said, �For us. I went to a meeting and I learned one thing. We aren�t alone.� �Dad is the addict not us,� Emily said with a tight look on her face as she got up and walked towards the window. �No honey. We all have a problem. I was hoping that you would come to a meeting with me. I thought if you listened to what was being said that you would understand things better,� Monica said reaching out for her daughter. �Understand what?� Emily snapped turning around to face her mother completely outraged that her mother would even suggest any of this. �He is the addict. He is out of our lives. So, why go to meeting that deals with it.� Monica nodded and said, �I don�t think he will ever be out of your lives. I think no matter what we will always have to deal with this. I was thinking maybe the meetings would help?� �Well you can go but leave me out of it,� Emily said as she ran out of the room. She left with saying another word to her mother. Monica sat there looking sadly after her daughter. How was she going to help Emily get past all this pain? How was she going to help her realize that deep down she still loved and need her father? ******************************* Lucky was sitting on the hood of his car thinking about his father�s plan. He had told his father he was ok with the idea of being the bait but deep down he was worried. It wasn�t the fact that he didn�t have complete faith in his father but the lack of faith he had in something going wrong. Lucky was hoping to talk to Emily about this but it wasn�t going to happen. She was not in the right frame of mind to deal with anything but her own problems. �I can�t believe her! She acts like we are the ones that did something wrong! We didn�t pop pills and destroy our lives! It was my father that did that! He is the one that has a problem,� Emily started to yell as she climbed out of her car slamming her car door hard behind her and walking towards Lucky. Lucky sat up smiled a sad smile at Emily. He was trying to hide his disappointment in the fact that she wasn�t in the mood to talk to listen to his troubles. �Can we back up a bit?� He asked. �What�s wrong now? �What�s wrong now?� Emily yelled acting as if it was Lucky�s fault that her life was getting worse. �I�ll tell you what is wrong! My mother has lost her mind along with this baby. She wanted me to go to a meeting with her. She thinks it would help me deal with my troubles with my father. What would help is he fall off the face of the earth!� Lucky knew he was asking for it if he said what he was thinking but that never stopped him before. So, he went for it. �You know Em, I don�t know what kind of meeting you are talking about but if your mother things it might help. Why don�t you take the chance? I mean talking might help you deal with this better,� Lucky said smiling sheepishly. �What!� Emily yelled shocked to hear Lucky say this to her. �What do you mean deal with things better? I�m not the one that messed up!� Lucky climbed off his car pulled his keys out of his pocket and said in a demanding voice. �Get in!� �Why should I?� Emily yelled Lucky lost it. He grabbed Emily�s arm pulled her to the car and yanked the door open. �Get in!� Lucky ordered again shoving her into the front seat. Emily was about to get out but Lucky pointed at her and said, �Stay put!� He then walked around to the driver side of the car and climbed in himself. As he started his car and drove away he said, �Emily, when my life was falling a part. You sat and listened to me go off for weeks. When you finally had enough you told me to �Get over it!� Well sweet heart now I�m saying those exact words to you but I�m going to go a step further. I�m going to take you to someone that will help you,� Lucky said as he pulled out into street. �Who?� Emily asked her arms wrapped around her tightly. She was upset with Lucky for treating her like this and wasn�t really listening to half of what he was saying to her. If she had she might have realized that he was right. She did need to talk to someone. �Kevin!� Lucky said as he turned his car and headed towards Kevin�s lighthouse. �After that first Christmas, I had a lot of trouble dealing with my father and grandfather always going at it. I always felt I was in the middle. Mom, called Kevin and we started talking. He helped out a lot. I can now deal with my father and grandfather without letting it get to me. He has always kept an open appointment for me. I�m going to use it or you are! Emily looked over at Lucky as if he lost his mind. He ignored the look that she was giving hem and kept on driving. He knew she wasn�t too ready to talk to anyone yet but he was hoping that maybe Kevin could get her to open up a bit. Maybe he could help her get past all of this? If not, Lucky didn't think that they would last much longer. He loved and cared a great deal for Emily. He knew his family did a lot to cause this pain but that didn�t mean he wanted to hear her complain about her troubles twenty four hours ever day of his life! Kevin was outside when the teens pulled up. He was fighting with Sigmoid who was refusing to go back inside. The duck was having too much fun playing around in the mud that was once the yard. Lucy was getting new landscaping done but at the moment it was just mud. �Damn it, Sigmoid if you don�t get over here. I�m going to have duck for dinner!� Kevin yelled in frustration. �Yeah, right,� Lucky said laughing as he climbed out of the car. Emily was just sitting there with her arms crossed and a look that said �I�m not moving.� Lucky just ignoring her for the moment and walked towards the doctor. �Hey, Kevin.� �Hi, Lucky,� Kevin said ignoring his own suborn person at this moment and turned his attention to Lucky. He was wondering if Lucky was having any trouble with his family. He knew living with Luke and Mikkos wasn�t easy. He knew that both men could be hard to take over time. �What brings you out here?� Kevin asked. Lucky looked over his shoulder at Emily then turned to Kevin. �I was hoping that I could give Emily my open appointment. She is having a bit of trouble with Alan.� Lucky said smiling a hopeful smile at the doctor. Kevin looked in Emily�s direction. He knew from the look on her face that the girl was indeed upset. He patted Lucky on the back and said, �You solve my trouble and I�ll work on yours.� �Deal,� Lucky said smiling at Sigmoid and said, �Now, how about you come here or I�ll go home and get Foster!� It was like Sigmoid understood what Lucky was saying. The duck quacked and then flew right into his arms. �I have to remember that one,� Kevin laughed. He had forgotten about the time Lucky brought Foster over during one of his sessions. Foster had chased Sigmoid all over the place nearing destroying the inside of the lighthouse. �I�ll go wash him up,� Lucky said. Kevin nodded his head as he walked towards Lucky�s car. �Hi,� Kevin said standing there and looking into the passenger seat at Emily. �Go away,� Emily, said coldly. �That mad huh?� Kevin asked. �Yeah, he thinks I need help as much as my mother does,� Emily snapped. �Help with what?� Kevin asked. Emily looked up at him. She climbed out of the car and started to talk. Kevin just stood there listening to her rant. He did ask a few questions now and then but he mainly listened. Lucky came back an hour later, Emily was sitting on the hood of the car with Kevin�s handy in her hand. She looked like she was crying and Kevin�s arm was around her. �Safe to join in?� Lucky asked as he walked over to his car. The pair looked up and Emily smiled at him. �Yeah, its safe.� Kevin put his arm down and looked at Emily. �I think you had enough for one day. How about seeing me at my office next week?� Kevin asked her. �Sure and thanks,� Emily said smiling. �No problem,� Kevin said patting Lucky on the back with a smile on his face and he walked away. Lucky titled his head and looked at Emily and asked, �You upset with me?� �No, I�m grateful,� Emily said walking over and kissing Lucky on the cheek. �You wouldn�t mind driving me back to the hospital?� Emily asked him. �No, why?� Lucky asked as they climbed into the car. �I need to apologize to my mother for how I acted earlier. We also have things to talk about,� Emily said smiling. She didn�t realize that talking to Kevin could make her feel better so fast. All he actually did was listen to her rant. Oh, he said a few things and got her to see some a few things differently. Like her mother wanting to go to those meetings. Kevin had pointed out that she might want to go to them but if they helped Monica get over the loss of the baby and help her deal with her own issues with her father. Then there was nothing she should say to prevent it. Lucky shrugged his shoulder and drove his car towards the hospital. He was glad to see that talking to Kevin helped Emily. She needed to let this go not just for herself but everyone around her. Chapter 29 Back to Trials of Love |