T.B.D. (My Darkness)

Written between: 02-28-98 & 04-20-98
Skip Love


Stale, cold, calm, half-lit, bitter-sweet
the emptyness is filling, swelling inside me
hatred, misguided loathing bloody anger
this seems to be my side they never see

unfeeling, loosing, slipping, never had grip anyway
lost sense of self, no pitty for my own soul
love of dark and damp, greedily pick my brain
gain makes me so empty. yet how loss fills the hole

Navy blues aren't blue enough, but gray
worthless, wasted, not wanted or longed for but by few
surrounded; six sided, accompanied ten fold yet alone
my richness has left, fleeting, departing like dew

no one should ever know, ever see, feel, guess
emotion self killing, degrading, disintegrating, still finding God
fading, murmur, whisper the joy, blissful pain
spike booted, soul looted, through my heart you and I still trod

enjoying, crying, laughing while painfully dying
unknowing, unsiding, fast winds I'm riding straight to invertedness
untelling, unsharing, not wishing or caring, vertigo
spiral, where's up? going in, black holing straight to invertedness

unguided, unconsidered, indirection - choosing no fate
black reflective, nonconductive, thoughts run nowhere
tattoed in white, clear, scaley skined, oozing sores
overwhelming, unexpected, loosing fight, no longer care