afternoon tea at Chris' flat and we were just talking about creating our new album. "Neil, you've been
very dreamy recently.
"Have you got anything on your mind?" he asked me.
"Is it possible for something to be too obvious?" I asked him back.
"That's a vague question, in what situations are you talking about?" Chris, with his eyebrows raised,
put his cup down.
"You see, I first though he was cute. After that, I knew I was in love with him." I sighed.
"Who's him? Are you just judging him by his looks?"
"I first thought that he was a cute lad. The more I'm with him, though, I've realised that I had fell in
love with him." I reply.
"Who is it that you are in love with?" Chris asks me, puzzled.
"I love Bernard." I tell him confidently.
"Bernard? Bernard Sumner? That blond Mancunian lad that we met a while ago?" he asks again.
"Yeah." I tell him again. "I first thought that we could be friends, which we are, right now, but I'm in
love with him, yet I don't know if he's like me too and even if he was like me, I don't know how he feels
about me,"I explain.
"Do you mean you worrying if he knows you love him?" Chris, nibbling on a biscuit, questioned.
"That too and even if I love him, what if he doesn't love me how I love him?" I sigh again.
"I think that sometimes when you love someone, it's obvious to the others around them because they
can get the idea that they like them," Chris thoughtfully said.
"Can you explain to me that moment you realised you were in love with him?" Chris questioned again.
"You're starting to sound like a bloody psychiatrist," I joke.
"I'm just curious, that's all." he innocently replies.
"We were out having a cup of tea at a coffee house and we were talking like usual. While talking to
him, his face, his voice, everything in him just wrapped me up in a state of bliss. My heart was quite l
literally skipping a beat," before I could finish my sentence, Chris interrupted me.
"You're quoting our song 'Heart', Neil."
"Well, that's exactly how I felt." I continue. "I felt like I could be at ease with him. No, not like how I'm
with when I'm with you or any of my other friends. You know, 'love' is very hard to put in words."
"I understand what you're saying, though. Maybe you should confess your love to him soon. If he
loves you too, he might reveal that as well," as he takes another sip of his tea.
"I feel like a schooboy." I smile and put my teacup on the table, for Chris to clean up later.
"When you're in love, everybody feels like a schoolboy or a schoolgirl." Chris wisely told me.
I had decided to confess to him how I felt about him the day I invited him to my flat. I just asked him
if he would like to come up to my flat and he agreed. Again, with that lovely schoolboy smile of his, I
was in a state of pure bliss.
The night before, I couldn't sleep. I kept on wondering, "Does he love me? If he does indeed love me,
would I have realised it?".
The doorbell rang that evening as I was combing my hair. I rushed over to the door. It was Bernard.
"Neil!"
He greeted me again with that boyish, cute smile of him.
"Come on in, is it chilly outside?" I ask.
"A little."
He replied. "You look a little bit nervous, Neil. Is anything worrying you?" he asks me, looking
somewhat concerned.
"I'm not exactly worried. Anyways, have a seat on the sofa, darling." My heart is fluttering.
"Do you want anything to drink?" I ask him.
"Have you got any hot chocolate or something?" he asks shyly.
"Sure. I'll have some hot chocolate, too. So just wait a second, Bernard," I reply.
After making the hot chocolate, I put the two cups on a tray, setting them on the table.
We were talking about the latest clothes, when I decided to confess.
"Bernard, I have something to tell you, darling." I nervously tell him.
"What is it? "He asks me innocuously.
"I don't know how to say this very well, but I'm in love with you," I tell him sheepishly.
"Neil, honey, I was thinking about saying that on this occasion, too. I love you too, Neil." he blushes at
me.
I was astonished. I never thought that he would be in love with me. What signs were I missing? Sure,
he blushes a lot like a shy lad, but I knew that was part of his attractiveness.
"Do you think it was obvious to the people around us?" Bernard asks me.
"I'm not quite sure. Chris said he didn't quite notice it, but he did mention that some people can tell
when a person is in love with a certain person." I tell him, stroking his soft, blond hair.
He cuddles up to me like a gentle kitten.
"Did you know I was attracted to other men?" he asks, his voice sounding like a schoolboy's. I love it
when he talks in his soft Mancunian accent.
"Maybe I might have noticed it. When I bought the song 'True Faith' and I listened to it, I thought it
was a song about someone coming out of the closet and I also listened to the b-side '1963' and I
thought the song had to do about homosexuality." I reply, being slightly embarrassed.
"Oh, really? It must be obvious, then." he casually replies.
"I guess it was obvious from the start." I agree with him.
Then, I stroke his blond hair again, his lips close to mine and we kissed, for the first time.
His lips were soft like velvet, soft as can be.
"Neil, I love you." he tells me.
"I love you too, my darling Bernard."
We kiss again, our lips touching again, savouring the love that we had just found.