doing. He was startled to see me on the sofa, wrapped up in a blanket, crying. I didn't have that good
of a day and I was ultimately, depressed. I just started crying for no apparent reason. Well, there
probably was a reason. I just needed someone to reassure me, to tell me that I am loved and
worthwhile. Neil was about the only person who could do so.
"Bernard?" I hear his gentle voice near me. He sets down a coffee cup full of hot tea. "Neil," I
sniffle.
"I can't stand to see you hurt, Bernard. I just had to come see you," he replies, gently stroking my
hair.
I cry even more, bursting into tears. It wasn't that Neil hurt me; I simply felt the urge to cry even more
because he was the only person that I could trust.
"Shhh....it's OK..." Neil softly whispers.
"Bloody hell!" I cry out; tears are still running down my face.
Neil gently kisses my forehead.
It's sweet to know that someone cares for you.
Sometimes, I become insecure.
Insecure, in a sense that I feel that I am not accepted, not loved.
Neil provides that sense of security to me. That sense that I am loved, that I am a worthwhile human
being.
Perhaps it may seem a bit repetitive to other people.
But I don't care what other people say.
His love gives me strength. I know that I can breakdown easily; I am like a fragile piece of crystal.
But I know that when I am emotionally struggling, he will always be there for me.
Watching, coaxing, and gently soothing me.
I don't know how many tears I've cried.
I don't know how long I've cried today, so far.
I feel a little tired, like my energy has gone by crying.
But again, it doesn't matter.
I finally have the strength to sip my tea.
I smile at Neil. Clutching my blanket, I go to the WC to wash up. I head to my room, where I set up two
sleeping areas just for us.
Neil comes out of the WC too, washed up.
We lay down together on the floor.
There are my pillows supporting our heads.
Two velvet blankets and a heavy quilt support us.
We are covered in some more quilts and heavy blankets.
I'm still teary-eyed. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears as I try to go asleep.
And, I actually do.
But now, Neil is next to me, calming me and encouraging me to cry my heart out.
Crying gives you the courage to carry on, at least temporarily.
I kiss his lips.
They were as soft and gentle as his voice.
I cuddle up to him as we fall asleep.
I remember Neil whispering in my ear, "I love you..."