"You. Are. Insane. Have I mentioned that yet, by any chance?"
Chris hit Justin on the head. "You just don't recognize greatness at work, my young friend. You youngins and your rap shit don't--"
"Excuse me," Justin said, holding up a finger. "I do believe you're jumping into the role of 'elderly old man' a bit too much. You, it seems, are as much a fan of said 'rap shit' as I am. So. You can kiss my ass, you old fogie."
Joey flipped through some of Chris� CD�s. "You know, some of these aren't too-- Oh no. You didn�t. You brought-- Who let you decide on the music? Oh, yeah. You."
Chris rolled his eyes. "You guys know you love it. Now, what time are they supposed to be back?"
Justin looked at the clock. "Umm, flight should be in at about 1:30, which means we have a half hour til they're supposed to be back here. Are you going to put your shitty music on before or after they get here?"
"I think me and my so called shitty music are offended and will refuse to perform today, actually."
"Good!" Justin said. "If I'd known all I had to do was--"
"What, you think I was serious? Ha. Just goes to show that you can't beat me, you heathen."
Joey sighed. "Dude, we have half an hour to get the rest of this stuff set up and I'm so not in the mood to break up another fight between you guys. So do you think that - maybe - you could not beat each other up for now? Thanks so much."
Chris and Justin froze, and Chris removed his hands from Justin's hair. They moved apart contritely. "Sorry Joey," they said in unison.
"You're forgiven this time, I suppose," Joey sighed, flicking his wrist. "You'll be at it again in a few minutes anyway. But hey! Let's play a game! The first one to talk or touch another person has to sit in the corner for ten minutes. So there. And the rules don't apply to me, because...I made them up! Ready, set, GO."
"I don't like this game," Justin whined.
"I don't wanna play," Chris said at the same time.
"You suck, Joey!" they both said.
Joey soon found himself the middle of a Chris and Justin sandwich. "The good plans always backfire," he muttered.
*****
JC and Lance walked into Justin's house, hearing the music long before they saw any of the guys.
"You've got to be kidding me," Lance moaned.
He jumped backwards into JC when Chris jumped in front of his path, playing air guitar and screeching out vocals that were a pretty good impression of Bob Seger.
"Won't go to hear them play a tango, I'd rather hear some blues or funky old soul...There's only sure way to get me to go, start playing old time rock n' roll..."
"Gee," JC said dryly, "Too bad we missed the beginning."
"Shh," Lance told him, "This is Chris' big part, you know, where he tells us to call him old."
Chris managed to throw in a "Bite me, Bass," before continuing with the music. "Call me a relic, call me what you will, say I'm old-fashioned, say I'm over the hill...Today's music ain't got the same soul, I like that old time rock n' roll--"
"Relic," JC said.
"Old-fashioned," Lance said.
"You're over--"
"I get the point," Chris snapped. "Let me sing my song, you losers."
But Justin jumped into the room and shoved Chris into the wall. "Still like that old time rock n' roll, that kind of music just soothes the soul, I reminisce about the days of old, with that old time rock n' roll--"
"You weren't even born yet, you buttmunch!" Chris shrieked indignantly. "You can sing--"
"NO! Changed my mind!" Justin said.
"You guys, please, don't--" JC's pleas were drowned out by the sounds of a different song.
"No...oh no..." Lance covered his face. "You guys--"
"You have so many relationships in this life, only one or two will last...you go through all the pain and strife, then you turn your back and they're gone so fast--"
"Joey! We know you can sing, okay? We know! You don't have to prove it by singing M--"
Chris cheered. "Come on, get in the spirit!" He cleared his throat. "Oh so hold on the ones who really care, in the end they'll be the only ones there, when you get old and start losing your hair--"
"Hey, Chris, that's you," Lance told him.
"Shut up, Bass, you're older than I am," Chris said. "Can you tell me who will still care? Can you tell me who will still care, oh care--"
"You know, you sound just like them?" JC said. "I mean, completely, totally--"
"Bite me! Mmmbop, ba duba dop ba du bop, ba duba dop ba du bop, ba duba dop ba du--"
Lance finally tackled Joey and turned off the tape. "You guys suck."
"Finally," JC sighed.
"Party poopers," Chris humphed.
Lance tickled him. "We know you don't like Mmmbop either, old guy."
Chris giggled and flipped so Lance was under him. "Who's the man now?" he said. "Say it! Say it!"
Lance tried to ward off Chris' fingers. "Okay, okay!" he said, red faced. "You're the man, you bastard."
Chris stood up. "That's what I thought."
Lance sighed and sat next to JC. "Anything interesting happen while we were gone?"
"We partied," Chris said. "Well, we're still partying. Joey got food, it's in the kitchen if you bozos want any."
"Got it," Lance said. "And who was in charge of music, you?"
"Of course!" Chris beamed. "Who else?"
"Chris! You ate all the chips, you little bitch," Joey yelled from the kitchen.
"No I didn't!" Chris said. "Justin did!"
Justin turned his head in shock. "Did not!"
"Yes he did! I saw him with my own eyes!"
"I saw Chris do it!" Justin said.
Joey walked into the room and held up a full bag of chips. "You're both liars. Check your eyesight. Ooooh, too bad, thanks for playing."
Chris turned to Justin. "He played us," he said solemnly.
"He played us bad," Justin agreed, nodding.
"Joey's goin down, Joey's goin down..." JC sang from the couch.
Joey threw the chips at him. "Shut up, Jace," he said, eyeing the other two warily.
JC held up his hands to ward off the bag, laughing. They hit him and he picked them up. "Hey, thanks," he said, opening them with a snicker.
"Ass," Joey said, before he was cut off by two masses of flesh hurtling at him. "Oof."
"Three stooges," Lance said.
"We're the three musketeers," someone shouted from the pileup.
"Keep telling yourself that," JC said. He turned and leaned against Lance. "So what's next?" he asked.
"Uh, the album, Jace," Lance said.
"Well, I mean, you have anymore demons and enemies that need conquering? Cause really, I'd like to have your full undivided attention and all."
Lance smiled. "Well," he said. "You've got it. Benny's gone, Ken's insane, Nikolas is a spy, Lou is being a loser--"
"Okay, okay," JC said, laughing. "You don't have to give me a rundown."
"You asked for it," Lance shrugged. "But to answer your question, yes, you have my undivided attention. Except for Larry, Moe, and Curly down there."
"Excuse me," came an indignant shout. "We prefer-- Hey, wait, what are their names again?"
Lance sighed. "Don't bother."
"Don't bother?" Chris shrieked. "I'll give you don't bother!" He tried to jump up but Justin yanked him back down.
"You wanna go upstairs?" Lance asked.
JC looked at the jumbled mess on the ground. "Um, yeah. Let's. Hey, thanks for the party guys, but, uh, we're gonna go--"
"Party by yourselves. Mmmhmmm, I get it," Justin sniffed from underneath Joey. "Don't make too much noise."
JC threw the bag of chips into the pile. "Look, it's like a scrap of meat."
"Kiss my ass."
"He'll kiss the Bass ass."
"He'll kiss--"
"That's enough of that," Lance said, dragging JC upstairs.
"Whoo! Gettin forceful!"
"Bye bye lovebirds!"
Lance and JC ignored it. "Who knew," JC mused.
"Who knew what?"
"That when we first saw you that all this would happen. That you'd be some angel sent from above to help us with this little thing. And all the stuff that's happened afterwards."
"No one, Josh," Lance said. "But that's what makes it so fun."
JC smiled and snuggled against Lance. "None of that matters, though," he sighed.
Lance grinned. "And why's that?"
"Because it's in the past. All that matters is that you love me, and you're here with me now, forever. And that's enough for me."
