| ...january twenty-one, two thousand four... ...Remember Me? The Girl That Stole Your Soul?... "If we were never to act on our opinons because those opinions may be wrong, we should leave all our interests uncared for and all our duties unperformed"(John Stuart Mill, On Liberty). So... I've been reading Moral Philosphy for way too long. Mill, Mill has been further enforcing what I already believe... that everyone's interests and opinions are equally important, and no one has a right to enforce their beliefs upon another. Oh Meggie, we are most definitely Smurfettes! *laughs*... I'm excited about tomorrow... Keston and I are hittin' up Starbucks in Einstein's during my 3-4 break between Moral Philosophy with the esteemed Prof Josh and my favorite tutorial... Canadian Government. Keston and I have definitely decided that when we retire we are moving to Chapters... so we can read all day and drink coffee to our heart's content. Books and coffee... two of my most favorite things... Speaking of the need for coffee, two hour Astronomy classes are killer. Without my caffeine jolt, the Gazette and Laila I don't know how I would survive... oh dear. We have our interesting moments... learning about the crazy things the sun does... and then we have our strange moments... like when Prof Gray demonstrates rotation by attempting to do figure skating spins at the front of the classroom, and demonstrates magnetic waves by saying "magnetic waves go like this *wiggle wiggle*... and then we have our just plain boring moments... with the formulas and the math... and all of us non-science kids trying to understand while at the same time trying to not fall into a glorious boredom-induced slumber. By the way... thanks Lai, for oh so graciously pointing out that of all people, I lack mittens and a hat. *laughs* It's the momma-thing from last year... you know... the it is Valentine's Day and I am drunk yes, but your favorite bra is broken, well allow me to sew it for you... you are ill, you need soup... let me make it for you, and in the process break my beloved huge red cup on the hard floor of the boys' washroom *moment of silence for the big red cup*... it seems that my mommy-ness has remained intact this year; baking cookies and delivering them, forgetting to leave any here, making mittens/scarves for the underpriveleged children of London and going without myself... but alas, I am not freezing... not TOO much... so I'm happy going without if it means that the poor lil chill'ns are warm and toasty. Speaking of warm and toasty... I've been thinking about summer today; and dreaming of Muskoka... I've decided I really really miss Ang. I miss our summer road trips and adventures. Jet-skiing, trying not to go deaf with Angela's shrill screams echoing through my ears... boating with Justin... camping... drunken debauchery in small towns other than our own... Oh my Angela, I am sorry I don't come home more often for you... but you have hockey! There's nothing better than sitting in a cold arena, with non-Timmy's coffee/hot chocolate disguised in Timmy's cups, gossiping about our lives and cursing at the players. The boys are nearing playoffs and I'm upset that I might not even get to see another game... argue with Josh after at the bar... shooting down the rumors that Norm had already spread around from the night before at the Palace... it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it... just like making multiple girlfriend jokes to Troy... oh I miss that damn small-town and it's dirty little bar! Alas, I fear to inform you all that I am going to bed... I know you're all incredibly depressed by this fact... but you will survive... *laughs* Love yous... *hugs and kisses* "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -- Mahatma Gandhi |
| ...january twenty-two, two thousand four... ...Running just as fast as we can...holding on to one another's hands... "How much one is able to endure: distress, want, bad weather, sickness, toil, solitude, undamentally one can cope with everything else, born as one is to subterranean life of struggle; one emerges again and again into the light, one experiences again and again one's golden hour of victory -- and then one stands forth as one was born, unbreakable, tensed, ready for new, even harder, remoter things, like a bow that distress only serves to grow tauter" (Nietzche). Oh Nietzche... I've had enough of the crappy weather! Enough snow and cold for me thank you very much! I don't know how I've managed to live in this blessedly cold country for all of my life... and it seems so hard now when I'm actually not in the middle of the snowbelt. Oh heavens! *shiver* Anyway, today was a fairly good day, the dumb girl that comes late to Theory and just talks seemed to talk less and sleep more today... always a bonus. Tutorial was actually humorous, as Tina attempted to convince us that we obey stoplights due to the conditioning we have obtained through games such as: "red light... green light!". I came home only to walk back to campus with Lai, for a Moral Philosophy class which only infuriated me. Damn you Devlin! *shakes fist* Lord Patrick Devlin maintains that there is no such thing as one maintaining a private life and that every aspect of said life is subject to public morality. Meaning it's necessary to hold up society by ensuring that the moral practices of the many are enforced upon each and every person in that society. Devlin makes me miss Mill... Mill and his letting people do as they please as long as they aren't harming anyone by doing so. Anyway, after Philosophy I went to meet Keston for coffee... and to my joyous surprise ended up seeing Sumaya and Marcelo and Fan-Yee and Coco as well... oh joy oh bliss! Then I had my beloved Canadian Government Tutorial... Julia never fails to entertain me... with her hilarious stories about "The Boy Who Ate Too Much", and laughing about her snowball stealing fights with seven year olds and Andrew's lipchap which is so confused it thinks it's lipstick... complete with the precision point. *laughs* Yeah, so in Government we simulated leadership conventions for the brand-spankin' new Conservative Party... the "delegates" chose "Sexy Belinda" as our TA calls her... but whatever, it was a good time... sometimes class can be fun, let me tell you... though all of us little lefty kids are all confused as to why people want a conservative party in the first place let alone what they would like to see in said party. So what do we do? Say it's in our five year plan and make everything the opposite of the way we'd do things... which led us to fair quite well, if only Sexy Belinda was not quite so Sexy! So yeah, came home to find that I got mail from Amanda! And not only that, but Kara emailed me as well... oh that was super exciting... I love mail. *laughs* And then KiKi came online and I was talking to her for a long time... oh my child... call me any time of the day or night... I promise, anything I am doing I will drop for you... "you are my sunshine... you'll never know deer how much I love you... " Honestly babe, you made my day... you and your random little "indoor" jokes. I'm glad I managed to brighten both your and daddy's day by bringing up the guy in the hideous pioneer hat... nothing flashes lights and sounds sirens that you're from a small town like a hat from a seed-company. And what else did I do today... pull out the tarot cards! I almost forgot about them it's been so long... they always surprise me, in a non-surprise at all kinda way. Basically this time (to make things short) they laid out that lately I have been facing my own limits and have found that life needs to be lived within the confines of one's own capabilities. That recently I have found courage, strength and self-discipline (have I ever!) and now I have to learn to trust in others more... (though, some people I tell you... cannot be trusted). They said that recently I have been ending a difficult situation and have encompassed a new future, causing me to be pleased with what I can achieve... providing me with a strong sense of identity and my unique abilities and worth... which the cards tell me is not inflated but based on a "realistic application of skills". Apparently I have to learn that I don't require any one to provide me with pleasure and satisfaction (was I not saying this just last week?) A dislocated part of my past has returned, nostalgic about a past relationship; though the my love for them is no longer what it was (Curtis! Though I love you, this is you... don't proposition me any longer as your filthy conversations discust me!) It also says that I am now, or will soon experience a great outpour of feeling, that there is potential of a great relationship on the horizon, though it has not manifested itself completely as of yet. The cards claim that though there has been confusion regarding people I can not let go; I must, as I am "ready to embark on a real journey of love"... *shrugs* Does this mean that my constant annoyance and irritation of certain boys and their specific lies and false promises finally end? ...Let's hope so, shall we? Anyway, I'm going to knit some more of Lai's scarf... and perhaps watch "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels"... Love yous! *hugs and kisses* "A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed." -- Buddha |
| ...january twenty-six, two thousand four... "... but he's the only thing on the menu I can eat!..." Oh dear. I know I complain about the weather an awful lot... but right now, I am actually so much happier inside my little igloo than outside of it... which has been incredibly rare as of late. The walk to Astronomy was not so bad... and Astronomy was entertaining even, with the movie ("... Astronomers can't simply go up and kick a star and see what happens...") and with the always-amusing antics of Dr. Gray ("...remember skating? *opens arms to spin* wooosh! *slams into table*"...) However, the lab, which took us two hours to finish... definitely was far from amusing. Damn plotting stars on the damn millimeter graph paper... it's enough to cause blindness and severe mental illness. I was excited to finish... a wave of victory sweeping over our table... but then I was forced out into the bitter world, to walk home... which wasn't too bad until I hit the hill... then I was bombarded by ice pellets... until home. Now, I feel so defeated... (but am kept happy by my frostbite-expert: 10-4)... I am kept from crawling into bed and calling it a day by the acknowledgement of the new Sex and the City... it's so hard to know it's there and restrain from watching it... oh Lynds, the things I do for you! I'm going to clean too... because my room tends to grow messier by the day, though judging by the rooms of others, mine would actually be considered quite tidy I'm sure... *laughs* I think Astronomy tends cause a loss of romanticism of the stars. They've gone from being sparkling little lights to big burning balls of chemicals and gases. Be still my beating heart! I still love the stars... I'm just angry with them at the moment... *sigh*... I would love to be home... memories wash over me of little midnight walks and talks with KiKi... climbing out her bedroom window with a blanket and lying on the grass... just chatting and staring into the big wide-open sky. The country is good for some things... and I do miss that about home... in the city it's a lot less fun to look at stars. Sometimes, the only thing to keep me warm in this world of bitter cold is the recollection of precious memories. Memories of warm and summer... today when I was walking home I was attempting to retain warm thoughts... and I remembered moving Ang into her new house... and the endless painting... the constant annoyance of pastor/DJ Chris... *laughs*... painting the trim in the kitchen with D, the night that he and Curtis came to help... how it was fun at the time until the acknowledgement that the paint was not so much a fan of washing off. Oh, I think those green stains lasted longer than the happiness of that relationship... my endless fun of finger painting the kitchen... how we point out to everyone who comments on the stunning beauty of the flowers that yes, that sure was my kindergarten-ous fun. *sigh* I'm going to warm up now... now that I'm more content in my wee igloo... Love yous... *hugs and kisses* "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent..." -- Eleanor Roosevelt |
| ...january twenty-eight, two thousand four... "...dirty deeds, done dirt cheap..." Okay, so the other night, after Sex and the City, Keston, Fan-Yee, Fan-Ling and I were in deep discussion around the kitchen table. Keston felt the need to lecture us on society's ideals and the pressure society places on women to act a certain way. Nonetheless, Keston darling, I love you, yet your description of your ideal woman was contradictory to nearly everything that discusted you regarding the pressures of society. Anyway, the whole conversation of ideals and what we act versus how society would like us to act... sparked me to seriously consider my opinion on this. First of all, feminism (belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes) carries many negative connotations and the belief of extreme views regarding women. Last year, as many of you may recall, I took women's studies... because I was interested in how they attempted to display history from a woman's perspective. However, I quickly became quite enraged at the appearance of this sweet female teacher and her bitter man-hating opinions. For a class based on the ideals of feminism; a study on the equality of the sexes, it was incredibly one-sided and biased. Therefore, I have come to conclude that I actually am not for the equality of the sexes, but rather, for the equity of the sexes. Equality: the quality or state of being the same in quantity or measure or value or status. Equity: The state, quality, or ideal of being just, impartial, and fair. So, what this means is not that I'm anti-feminism, anti-women's rights... it merely means that I don't think that it's essential for women to be the same as men. Feminism has progressed so far that in fact, things have begun to move backwards. Women who perhaps would like to stay in the home and raise children and care for their families are looked down upon by the women who "recognize their potential" and are successful in the corporate world. Equity is more about women and men having the same opportunities and respect, but not being required to act in any set way; as the definition depicts, it is more about impartiality and fairness than having equal status. Today in the Gazette there was this article; aided in fact by the infamous "Kim" (my WS professor), who conceeded that Belinda Stronach did not have as much as a chance in the upcoming Conservative leadership race and the other (male) candidates. In my opinion, Stronach is not hurt by the fact that she's a woman, especially since as a pretty face she gathers a whole lot of media attention and free advertising. Ms. Stronach is more hurt by the fact that she has little experience in politics, and dropped out of Business School after first year only to be given a high-profile job in Daddy's company. She has all this media attention and no platform; hence, she comes off as a less than desirable candidate. That is why she's really lacking, not because she's penis-less, but because she's experience-less. Stephen Harper and Tony Clement both have an incredible amount of experience behind them, and are extremely well-educated men. The fact that they are men... has nothing to do with the fact that they are better qualified. Anyway! Back to Keston... Keston conceeded that women tend to all act like airheads and do whatever they can to attract male attention. While part of this is true, and some girls obviously act in such a manner, others do not. I would like to think that I don't. Anyone who disagrees is free to tell me so... but I honestly am who I am, and if some boy can't accept that then why would I want to be with them in the first place? Take last night for example, as much as I should have just been nice and smiled and nodded, I told off that frat boy like nobody's business. Yes, I may appear to be sweet and agreeable all of the time, but I am not so much. I am me. This tends to surprise some people... haha Andrew... but the more you get to know me, the more you find how many facets there really are to my personalities... and that I'm not trying to impress anyone. Marcelo, and my Listy kids used to mock me endlessly for my "southern charm" how I am so incredibly affectionate and call everyone by pet names (sugar, precious, darling, the list is endless..); and yet... they all know not to cross me because I would take them on. *laughs* The same thing goes for boys... I can be sweet and nice, it's true, but that's not all I am... I have my own opinons and they may not necessarily mimic your own... so please, just respect me, I'll respect you... and we can all be happy together. Andrew hails me for my seductive qualities and how I can charm the boys into desiring and chasing after me... *laughs* Yes, honey, but that doesn't mean that I care for said boys... it merely means that I am aware of how being a woman can be used to get what I want. Much like men do the exact same thing... I've just learned to play the game. I'm especially not coming to school so I can land a husband (as Keston has argued about some girls). Not that I'm saying I would not potentially end up with anyone I meet during this time... just that getting a husband is not the reason I am here. Futhermore, if I do get all of my education finished and decide that I actually want to see my children grow up, I hope not to be chastised for doing so. My mother stayed at home to raise us before she began (municipal) politics... and I'm glad she did. I want to be able to watch my children grow up and raise them rather than having someone else do so... and if that means I have to take time out of career success to do so... it's a measure I'm willing to take. I believe that family is something much more important in life than money and reputation; and having someone else raise your kids and not knowing them... is not an option. Alas, I feel that is enough politics and ranting for today... so I shall end this... I love you all... now where is my conquering hat... *hugs and kisses* "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." -- Unknown |
| ...january thirtieth, two thousand four... "If I could marry Sweetpea I would... wait, I can!" holy shit you are gorgeous; check out the new name... because you are one of the most beautiful creatures that ever came from.... apes. haha. you make me happy to be who i am and you give me courage to stand up for that person. and to face the fearful world in front of me. i want you in a life partner... (despite what my name says) i don't want to marry you, but have the person i marry make me feel like you do. oh my, i think all this senitmentalness is getting to me... i might start tearing up soon. so i'm off to bed. i love you! goodnight! i really think that we are one person in two (fuckin GORGEOUS bodies)... i dont' think i could have spoken my own views better than you phrased them dear! you have such an enormous potential. The above name and message... is by far, the most amazing thing that anyone has ever said to me. Meghan, as Stevie Wonder once sang... you are the sunshine of my life! Though I am blessed with many good friends, you are one in... well... one in the entire history of humankind. You've proven to be an incredibly wonderful friend though immense distance has kept us apart. I am only glad that I have managed to inspire you with as much strength as you have given me... because some mornings I don't think that I could wake up without the kind words that you have to offer and the faith that you instill in me regarding this often brutally honest, harsh world. Thanks... for being you. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAILA! ...News... Okay, so, we've been using the "Boys are Stupid -- Throw Rocks at Them" (and small children if you're Sarah! haha!) line for ages. For years whenever we've been having girl-talk boy issues, we've popped out this line along with our growing supply of hypothetical rocks. Then, last year, we managed to come across T-shirts with the same slogan... now... now, these same shirts are being pulled by the designers due to massive protesting. Oh dear. Out of all the bad T-shirt slogans out there, many obscene and downright discusting... they are being forced to pull this one? Heaven forbid boys take some bashing every once in a while! ...article here... Former CIA Director, James Woolsey, told university students in California that the Cold War was the third world war, and that "This forth world war, I think, will last considerably longer than either World Wars I or II did for us". ...article here... Declassified documents from 1962 uncovered by ABC News reporter James Bamford show the Joints Cheifs of Staff advised JFK to terrorize U.S. citizens in order to justify an invasion of Cuba. "Operation Northwoods" recommends staging a "Communist Cuban terror campaign," and proposes further, "We could blow up a U.S. ship in Guantanamo Bay and blame Cuba." Northwoods maintains, "Casualty lists in U.S. newspapers would cause a helpful wave of indignation." ...article here... ...full documents... After reading newly released Project for the New American Century (PNAC) documents -- written by Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Jeb Bush, and other top Bush government officials in the September of 2000 -- British MP Michael Meacher claims the war on terror is a "political myth" designed to disguise the "US goal of world hegemony". ...article here... Enough mind-stimulating articles for today...*smiles* I have found that sometimes the simple pleasures are what makes life worth living... I was so incredibly happy this morning... with my coffee in one hand and book in another... *sigh* Good coffee and a good book both have the effect to soothe the mind and warm the soul. That, and while on the bus home, I was provided with some comic relief as the uber highlighted, side ponytailed, low-rider sweatpants wearing, bimbo-esque creature trying to exit the bus apparently had a sudden flash of dumbness as all of the arrows and signs pointing to the "push to open door" bar went invisible and she was left to literally bang on the door crying for escape. *laughs* Yes, it may be incredibly evil and mean for me to laugh at another's misfortune... but dear lord was it funny... Anyway, I'm currently reading two books... not counting the ones for class, which may be killing me, since I tend to get so wrapped up that I dislike reading for class even more... *laughs* But today I started Salman Rushdie's Step Across This Line, and about a week ago, I began Warren Kinsella's Kicking Ass in Canadian Politics thanks to the wonderful suggestion of my Canadian Government TA; Anna. Both of which, are fabulous. But alas, I must go, finish my laundry... read some more... and head over to Laila's to begin the celebration of her 19 3/4 birthday... *laughs* Love you all... *hugs and kisses* Have a fabulous weekend! "Friendship is a single soul; dwelling in two bodies". -- Aristotle |
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