...monday, april fifth, two thousand four... Ah, it's been a fantastic weekend. I shall tell it by horoscopes... haha. By the way Marcos, I blame you for all of this sudden interest in astrology. Friday, April 2: Someone new and extremely different will be only too happy to distract you. Yeah, it's true. *smiles* It's crazy how sometimes you just accidently trip into something great. This whole long weekend has been beautiful like that; something so completely unwanted and unexpected. No awkwardness, feeling as if you've known this person forever; though it sounds all so cliche, it definitely causes you to feel like all the others were just batting practice, and you're finally stepping up to the plate in a game of World Series proportions. And having your friends approve is a wonderful thing as well; thanks Keston for the unexpected little visit to tell me how you approve and to give me your little lecture and embarrass the hell out of me. *laughs* Friday night brought with it the joyous celebration of both Lynds' and Erin's birthdays. Molly's has never let us down, and this time, this time we left willingly... quite unlike Ken's birthday. *grins* Saturday, April 3: This is a great time to speak your mind. You'll be able to say exactly what you want to, regardless of where you are or who you're with. Don't hesitate to let it all out. I think there's only been two that I felt I could tell anything and everything to; Jer, and this one. And this one definitely listens better and give me back snarky comments. It's so strange to just let everything out and be able to share everything with someone, not worrying about how they will judge you as a result of it. Maybe this is how it's something so extremely different. I said that I didn't want to be the one to keep him away from the friends and I wasn't, as they drunkenly called repeatedly to get us to join them at the house party. *laughs* I was embraced so openly by all of his friends, Jill slipping her arm through mine and happily introducing me to everyone. Chris starting his politico-conservative rants; Mike giggling and apologizing for him, commenting on my flip-flops and how you know a girl is classy when she paints her toe-nails; talking small town talk; consuming Dorito sandwiches. I don't know whether it was the state I was in, or if this is how I was meant to feel, but as Chris was telling his drawn-out stories and a hand had snaked itself onto my lower back, I was filled with such immense feelings of warmth, starting in my toes and flooding my body. Such powerful feelings of happiness and love swept over me, all the wonderous visions and colors and hugs just adding to my bliss. And breakfast the next morning was definitely key, though I'm glad the phone didn't ring until after eleven. *smiles* Sunday, April 4: It will be easy for you to express yourself now. No matter who you're talking to, they'll automatically understand what you're trying to say. Pick up the phone and have that conversation you've been putting off. I tried to call Meghan last night, just because it's been so blessedly long since I have conversed with my beautiful other half. I've realized that lately Kiki has heard more about everything in my life than Meg; and that just can't be! *laughs* I'm glad that Kiki has become someone that I can talk to, and confide in. Ah baby sister, growing up so magnificently! So, instead, since the internet wasn't working, I launched myself into my bed and stayed there for almost the entire day. *laughs* Waking up early this morning (Ang's crack-of-dawn), to come here, to Weldon, and get some studying in. So, now I'm turning to said studying... and then making my way to Laila's house to go for coffee... and then, who knows what the sunshine-y day will bring. *smiles* May 11, 2004 Elements Loungebar 192 Dundas St. Chris Bray; opening act Irene $5.00 at the door Any takers? |
| ...wednesday, april seventh, two thousand four... Ahhh, yesterday was gorgeous. (Other than the cursed white flakes of coldness drifting down from the sky as I walked to class). I love my boys, and shall miss them to no end. That's the only sad part of International Relations drawing to an end; giggling with the boys every Tuesday. I'll miss the Andrew Adventures; skipping to Saugeen for pumpkin pie, running to the Gallery to check out the latest exhibit, hiding from Andrew's big crazy stalker, editing every essay he's ever had to write, going to PitStop to invest in some Kinder Surprises to play with during class, running into drunken Rob in the process. Last night, though Andrew pussied out, we went to the Spoke after class for some beer and karoke. I haven't seen the Spoke so packed full of people in a looong time, and it makes me really happy; I love that bar! When the boys were filled to the brim we ventured downtown to Tom's and hung out there for a while. When it was getting late enough that I didn't feel the need to be with them anymore, Nathan and I trekked down Richmond and stopped for some beauteous Stobies pizza; best pizza in London. Then we went our separate ways so I could go take care of what I had been waiting all day for. *smiles* We're such Family Guy junkies now. And I'm loving that we talk about everything imaginable. This, is definitely different from all the rest. It feels like it's been forever, when it's only been a week; a week today to be exact. I'm addicted to the fish. Sitting in front of the tank, just watching them so contentedly swimming around, giggling at the sinister one sneakily mingling amoung the rocks, drinking some relatively okay instant coffee... one of those simple little moments in where you just find yourself to be so incredibly happy and "at home". *sigh* But now, now it's study time. I'm so proud of myself, this is the earliest I've started anything! I've definitely been affected by some good influence. Today has, so far, been quite enjoyable as well. It's so gorgeous and sunny outside, it makes me happy to walk with Laila to the final Astronomy class, armed with our hot sunglasses and coffee. After class we stopped by the Spoke for some food and ran into Deb and John (oh kids you're so cute!); mmm CLT and Moosehead -- perfect lunchtime combo. We talked about Astrology in class, about how Prof. Grey believes it's complete and utter bullshit. However, I'm beginning to take a little more stock in it. While I don't depend on it by any means, it tends to make me giggle, or nod my head in agreement afterthefact. Today's Horoscope: Talk about a great day. Your worst problem will be deciding whether to entertain your sweetie at your place, or hide out at theirs. *Shrugs* Not bad planets, not bad. But honestly, I really have to go work on some Canadian studying... I'm dreading this exam less as I'm studying more and more. Then maybe I'll go for a walk in the glorious sunshine-y goodness. Love y'all. *kissy kissy* "When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either". -- Leo Burnett |
...sunday, april tenth, two thousand four... Ah heavens, I really haven't posted a lot lately. I guess I could blame many factors as the reason for my seeming absence. Exams: I really even shouldn't be posting now, I should be cuddled in my little bed. However, I slept all the way home to London tonight, so I figure I have a little bit of awake non-study time. My first exam, Canadian Government, is tomorrow afternoon at 2. Tonight I went to Alex's and we had espresso and casually discussed the topics and possible exam questions. Because of this, I actually feel quite prepared. I give all credit for my crazy-compulsive study habits as of late to my recent good influence. *smiles* Studying has never been so fun as when there is cheesecake and the National breaks. Family Guy and fishes doesn't hurt either. Home: First time home since... spring break. I love home somedays. Friday was actually quite beautiful; Meggie rolled into London and we did up breaky at Paragons with Jordy, and our cute little waitress gave us a lot of chocolate Easter lovin'. Chocolate and two of my favorite people? Yeah, that's bound to be beauteous. And by the way Meg, you definitely are Samantha (read: Sex and the City); your breakfast table conversations are anything but appropriate. Thank goodness I warn some people in advance. *laughs* Anyhow, then we travelled home; Meggie's mother further emphasizing why I love that family. Telling us that "it's as easy to marry for money as it is for love; and love you can always have on the side" Though I personally do not subscribe to this view, it's entertaining. This and having Momma Adams telling us about sex, about how sometimes we'd be better off just to cut off men and lock ourselves away with various vibrating accessories. *laughs* Friday night I stayed at home, did some studying, hung out with Kiki and Lance, and Momma and Daddy. Momma was actually being incredibly hilarious, I love it. Often I miss her immense wit and intelligence, she's sarcastic and genius. Saturday, more studying... and we went to Brad and Jen's buck and doe. Driving into Listy, Stick's odometer set on 69m/hr, I felt this surge of warmth overcome my body. Being surrounded by good friends, filled with a little bit of happy, with the promise of a good night ahead... *smile*... it was gorgeous. So gorgeous that while I usually find Trevor incredibly creepy (Paula can vouch for his scary-ness; especially since he's overly flirty/touchy), I willingly posed for happy drunken pictures. Meghan (not MY Meghan) and I conversing about the sometimes hotness of girl-on-girl and that boobs are but mere fat, the boys happily listening to our scandelous chat. Grinding with Paula and Rhonda, the boys in a semi-circle with their jaws dropped as I flashed a fraction of my bra-strap, the drool clearly visible. So happy that I conversed with D; after forever long... ending with our conversation being steam-rolled by Adriemme... right after he had said "So, remember last year when we rode home from the hockey dance together...? (The night that Adriemme was convinced I was trying to take back my boyfriend; hah!)" This was funny for me, and I really wished I could have seen where the conversation was headed, not because I'm interested in him (never again!), but because I'm curious. Curious to see whether he actually regrets cheating on me and ruining a potential "good thing". However, I'm incredibly content with things the way they are. I haven't been this happy in a long time; happiness without guilt. Without the fear of accidentally rubbing my University-ness in his face, as I never wanted him to feel like I was trying to better him. I can be myself now, and I'm loving every minute of it. I'm so ecstatic for Kiki and Lance; they are absolutely adorable. I love that Lance tells me how sweet Kik is and how he's never loved anyone before, but he feels that he loves her. I'm so happy for that girl; she deserves a good boyfriend for once. Someone who actually respects her and cares for her, someone who is considerate of her feelings, someone who she can be herself with. She makes me so proud somedays. *smiles* I love you Kiki. *kissy kissy* My final factor for not posting; I merely haven't been here. I've been out a lot as of late. Birthdays, end of class celebrations, coffee, study dates... among other things. *smiles* My busy-ness adds to my happiness. I am content. Spring has sprung, the winter blues are a thing of the distant past. But alas, bedtime. Nighty night, I love you all... drop me a line sometime, okay? *kissy kissy* |
| ...tuesday, april thirteenth, two thousand four... ...another brick in the wall... I know that I'm not old. However, I'm beginning to feel so incredibly grown up. Today I pre-registered for an LSAT prep course that's coming up. The end of undergrad is going to come fast, especially with law school admissions. I've been looking at all the admission requirements and documentation and everything, and I'm just getting so darn excited. I know that I can do this; it doesn't worry me one bit. Perhaps that's a bad thing? Maybe I'm just overly cocky, maybe it's due to the fact that I have always gotten any job, any admittance, to anything I've ever applied to. Maybe I should fear rejection more than I do. *shrugs* Whatever. ...glory days... I'm definitely content with where I'm at. Today, amidst the studying, I have been reminiscing. This was brought on by the pictures Boat sent me from grade ten. *laughs* We've all changed so incredibly much. An awful picture for sure, but it makes me miss everyone. I talk to Nicole and spy on her by means of her website, and every now and then I talk to Sarah; however, I really haven't seen Dar or Holly in ages. I'm suffering severe Sarah D. and Holly withdrawl for sure. Every now and then something will remind me of the good ole days of being Tim Hos. Ice cap showers, singing and dancing to Tiffany, jumping on the cardboard (box flaps will not save the world!), creating our own pseudo-village, etc. Crazy. Anyway, this pic was taken at one of the eco-stock days. The boys were performing and we were dutifully supporting them. I remember that Bob told me, back when I was applying to university, that I would fall away from all my friends and never look back. I hated him (more than usual) for that comment. And we have fallen away to some extent; however, there is definitely a strong thread that still holds us together, no matter how far apart we drift... we can always go back to our roots. I love all my various spheres of friends. I have highschool friends, I have my Ang and boys, I have my work kids, I have my university buddies, I have various class groups... I ran into so many people in the library today, I love it. My little spheres are always expanding, especially as of late. On Saturday I'm going out with Jordy, Chris, Mike and Jill (among others)... I'm excited. And hopefully Andrew, Tully and Tom will respond to my plea for an IR review session; I'm meeting Tom tomorrow for coffee and note-swapping. And sometime I have to fit in a study session with Alex. I'm almost as much of a study-group whore as Julia! *laughs* Anyway, as I kind of rambled away from the point of this little topic... *laughs* I'm happy with everything in my life right now, there's absolutely nothing I would change. I'm working a lot, and studying a lot... but that's okay; all in good measure, it makes going out that much more fun. I sit here, semi-procrastinating from studying (I've already studied a lot today), staring at this gorgeous creation of a picture frame that Meggie blessed me with on Friday (which my mother fears I will accidently cut myself on), chilling out to some key music... *smiles* All is well in my world. |
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...monday, april nineteeth, two thousand four... ...I always liked that best... It seems like this person I am now is so completely unremoved from the person I once was. I know that I'm the same person, and yet I feel different... better. I've been studying a lot, and realizing exactly how much I love politics. The other night I dreamed of International Relations theories and concepts. I'm a dork, yes. Last night I thanked the boy for being so wonderful. I have been able to tell him anything and everything, a concept so unknown prior to now. I told the boys about being hit by a baseball thrown by occupants of a passing car as I was walking to work at six in the morning. Chris threatened to track them down and hurt them. The boys all leapt at the chance to protect me. It makes me feel safe, though I know I can protect myself. Regarding another certain boy, Jordy said "if he ever touches you again, tell me and I'll beat him up", to which I let him know I could likely beat him up myself. To which he made fun of me for biting as a form of protection. It's effective, what can I say. I am really glad that I've become friends with Alex; that Andrew had gotten his wish as I got them together for a super study session. These boys are so different and yet they are exactly the same. This understands why I'm friends with both of them. Alex takes credit for my current lack of super socialism; giving me credit for straying from being too far right-wing. Different points of view are key. I'm beginning to think that I'll miss being so close. Miss my feet padding over the soft grass as I skip down two houses to watch Air Force One or collect Buckleys handouts, or Keiths, or chocolate. *smiles* So, Andrew and Alex and I went to see Kill Bill Vol.2 on Friday night, after they hijacked me and made me watch the first one. It was great, I love it. Though the second was more "love story" than the first, it was still enjoyable. I've found that I rather like the guts and gore. The plucking out of an eye and squishing it between bare toes. *shivers with excitement* Uma's hot for sure, I see the appeal that Keston has been swooning over. Saturday we went to Molly's; drinking on Dave and Jordy's porch until Jill and Rachel showed up post-work. Nothing like sitting outside on a warm night with a large group of boys. Next time I'm kidnapping Laila to come with me, as this is definitely her cup of tea: Molly's and hot boys. We managed to lose Chris. It was pretty unexpected, we were giggling at him and Rachel holding hands and then she came back to the house without him. Ah heavens. We had a nice little chat about girls. He told me about the gorgeous girl he was chatting up at the library and how she brutally turned him down; I told him girls are the devil. It's all about power, I firmly believe that. Many girls just flirt it up hardcore and are jerks because it makes them feel powerful. I can't deny that I have pursued these methods, however, I can admit that it's wrong to do so. As Fiona sang, "I've been a bad bad girl, I've been careless with a delicate man... It's a sad sad world, when a girl will break a boy just because she can..." Too many girls pursue and use boys for power purposes. Boys do it too, don't get me wrong. *shrugs* I guess I'm just sick of playing games; sick of being played. But I tell you, no more. Games are over. Now the only games I'm playing are checkers and head-to-head solitaire! *giggles* I love you all! Happy Birthday (April 20) Kiki! ... My Bitchy, Beautiful Baby To my little sis from her big sis On her birthday far away: Maybe life will separate us, Yet we'll always be best friends. So may love, until life ends, In joy or sorrow not forsake us, Sunshine on the darkest day. Though there's a frequency I miss, Each breath of peace that fortune sends Recalls a bond time can't betray. I love you Kiki, with every beat of my heart. Through your incredible growth and maturity you aid in my own personal growth. I am proud of this young woman you've become. The ability to stand infront of the class and tell the jackass to fuck off; the ability to speak your mind while maintaining that sweet cheeked little exterior. You are wise beyond your years, though you are not aware of your brilliance. You don't give into others and maintain being your own person which is incredibly hard at your young impressionable age. I know you will be successful, I know you will be happy, I know you can be everything and anything you hope to be. Reach for the moon my sweet baby, even if you miss you will land among the stars... Link of the Day: Of course the news is biased, incredibly so. It's important to be critical of what is shown by British and American influenced news. Too many people take what they see on television as absolute fact. Look at another point of view... "All you need to do is talk to one of the Falloojeh refugees making their way tentatively into Baghdad; look at the tear-stained faces, the eyes glazed over with something like shock. In our neighborhood alone there are at least 4 families from Falloojeh who have come to stay with family and friends in Baghdad. The stories they tell are terrible and grim and it's hard to believe that they've gone through so much." Baghdad Burning: A blog from a rational Iraqi Muslim (Thanks for link Will...) |
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...wednesday, april twenty-one, two thousand four... ...some kind of wonderful... My horoscope for today claims that my hedonism dial is turned all the way up. This could explain why I do not feel like studying any longer. This could explain why I want to run outside and frolic barefoot in the rain. This could explain many things. Laila and I trekked to the library this morning, stopping for some highly anticipated caffeine consumption. I actually got a lot done, and am not overly worried about the upcoming "weekend of hell". Political Theory on Friday should be okay, I know all of the philosophers fairly well; however, this whole quote thing is a little sketch. She's going to give us quotes that we have to say who wrote it, where, and what it implies. Most of the philosophers we studied, we read snippets from three different works. *sigh of exhasperation* Philosophy on Saturday shouldn't be terrible. Especially since we're already given practice questions that we have to go through. I'm getting together to study with Amanda on Saturday, so that should be okay. And then, last but not least, Astronomy on Sunday. Astronomy will be tough merely because I have always had so much time to focus on it for prior exams. This time, I really have no opportunity to study. Philosophy is at seven on Saturday night, and Astronomy is at ten Sunday morning. I have to find some time to squish in some astronomical amounts of studing with Laila. It is storming. I want the sunshine back. But no no, I get to travel in this grossness to Jordy's house for super studying tonight. This afternoon I thought I would walk... but now that is definitely out of the question. But alas, back to the grind I go. Hope y'all are having more fun this week than I. *kiss kiss* ...friday, april twenty-three, two thousand four... ...Running with the Devil... Do they think by doing this Americans won't realize that their own people are dying? I would understand that this would be disrespectful if it showed actual bodies of soldiers; however, I feel that the caskets draped in flags promote respect. Respect for the men and women who fought for the country. Or we could just pretend that every soldier is coming back... it seems that not admitting that people are dying is more disrespectful than this picture. But hey, that's just my opinion. Y'all are free to have your own views as well... The weekend of hell has officially begun. I just got back from my Political Theory exam; which, I might say, went very well. Thank god for studying like a maniac. Thank god for Jordy pushing me to do well; I desired study breaks, he refused to allow them. *laughs* Bless his soul. So tonight, hopefully, I can get some Astronomy done with Laila, then tomorrow I have all day to study Philosophy, meeting up with Amanda for coffee and review. I just want to be done. I saw Keston on the way to Jordy's the other night, he was all bouncy and relieved because he had written his last exam. I am now a little over half done. That's a terrible thought. I wish that Aaron wasn't a complete moron. That way I could get my income tax filed and begin the wait for a large return. But no, if he doesn't fix these tax receipts for the third time, then I will get absolutely nothing back. For a landlord, he knows absolutely nothing about landlord-tenant issues. I'll be glad to be out of here. Glad to be free from the narrow literary confines of school; free to read for enjoyment, to join the Jordy-Chris bookclub of champions. *laughs* My list of books to read merely grows by the day. I need a nap. Alas, the sleeping in until two o'clock followed by Paragons breakfast yesterday (delicious by the way) has prohibited my allowance of naps. So instead I trudge home from my exam, attempting to ignore the seductrous smells of the hot-dog lady, to study more. This is my only release, my only break... right here. Y'all are witnessing it. People are fucked. My disenchantment of human kind increases exponentially by the day. Why can't we all just respect each other? Why can't we all listen to Carly Simon and dance around in the sunshine? I can't wait to go home, home to my baseball glove and play catch out in the glorious outdoor bliss. May seventh folks, write it on the calendar, I'm home for one day only. If it rains, I'll be angry. *laughs* But my time here is up. I hope y'all have a more exciting weekend than I. �Qui si convien lasciare ogni sospetto, Ogni vilt� convien che qui sia morta.� -- Dante, The Divine Comedy, 3013 For those of you who do not speak italian: "Here all mistrust must be abandoned, Here all cowardice must perish". |
...sunday, april twenty-five, two thousand four... ...hide your love away... At last, I am finished. I work thirty-eight hours this week. That's pretty good considering they had messed up and given me nothing when I called last week. Hopefully I can get everything organized to move within the time that is not spent working. We're taking back textbooks for cash tomorrow... goodbye textbooks! As much as I would love to burn a few of them, money seems much more satisfactory than watching hundreds of dollars go up in flames. I can drink my textbooks away. *laughs* *rubs hands together* And with workin' money I can afford rent... and books! That's the most exciting news of all. And I'm super cleaning my room pre-move so everything that I wish to throw out will actually be on the curb on garbage day (Wednesday). It's a tad disappointing that I will not be able just to slack off all week and relax, but the money is definitely much needed. Especially considering class starts up again next Tuesday. Even more textbooks. Voting in Afganistan? Without giving details or revealing any Taliban identities, [Afghan President]Karzai reiterated that his government was "in talks with some Taliban leaders." "There are only 100 or 150 (Taliban) who with the aid of others want to destroy this country. The rest are all ordinary people and may God bring them and settle them in their own country," he said. But Dadullah said the Taliban were not talking to Karzai's government. "He (Karzai) wants to create a schism among the Taliban. I myself have 500 fighters among my command alone. We have a strong force," he said. After their ouster, the Taliban declared a jihad, or holy war, on foreign and Afghan government troops and aid organizations. More than 650 people have died in violence since August last year, much of it blamed on the resurgent Taliban. I'm kinda lonely here by myself. I want to get out of the house. However, I do not wish to miss any important phone calls... Maybe I'll pick up Catch-22. |
...tuesday, april twenty-seven, two thousand four... ...Capsized... Ah packing. My room is in complete and utter disarray. My closet is empty. My fingers dark with newsprint from wrapping my hot drinking glasses in newspaper. The 50ml bottle of Baileys that I found hiding has been consumed in my coffee. I love sitting cross-legged on the floor in my pajamas looking through old newspapers, magazines, yearbooks; attacked by vicious little dustbunnies, newsprint smudged across my cheek. Oh too much reminiscing. Looking through the yearbooks at the blood Holly spattered across the page... how I miss Holly. Our late night rituals, walking through town barefoot... that summer that Brad fell head over heels for her; does she even know he's engaged now? I haven't seen her in almost a year, yet, we're in the same city. I'll have to search for her someday. I miss the days of the original Tim Ho's. Singing oldies, dancing around with Sarah, Chrissy, and Holly. I miss dying Sarah's hair on spare. I miss going to Diana's for breakfast, or Jerky's for lunch with Sarah. I miss the music; Two Black Horses, Tim and Ryan's Little Music Festival... I miss MacDonald's for lunch, cramming into Dar's car or Konrad's Krazy Kristmas van. I miss making fun of the way Dyke walked. I miss the day Jana came up to us in the hall to bitch us out. Nicole's straight faced reply, laughing our heads off as she walked away. So much has changed in the past couple years. Nicole and I no longer at odds over Brent; thank god. I love that girl, and that was a situation that never should have gotten so complicated. I miss the Neck-Break Keg Party the August before school with Dar. My brother showing up, engaging in deep conversation with my ex-boyfriend and boyfriend at the time... hiding from said awkward situation. Losing Dar and finding her passed out with Stew on the grass, them all happy because they were friends again. Eco-stocks, baseball, bonfires. *sigh* I guess we're all growing up and therefore things are bound to change. I'm glad Dar's coming to Funshawe next year, hopefully we'll hang out and catch up. And I'd love Nicole to come visit this summer. And I'd love to go visit the Sarah and the Boat and the Ryan in Toronto. It's odd that we always make these desperate pleas when we hit home about meeting up for coffee or at Mo's... but how it has yet to happen. It seems there's just so darn much to pack into the short time home. For that, I'm sad that I'm not going home this summer. That we won't be able to hang out all the time. That I won't work all night only to turn around and go to the beach all day with Dar and Nic, playing Sock'em Boppers, then turning around and going back to work. I don't know how I functioned that summer. *laughs* This summer is a whole new kind of adventure. New relationships, new work friendships, finding everyone's new houses and visiting. This summer holds so much promise, whether it lives up to the hype is something else. I'll have to get talking to Jill to work out some plans to get to Tillsonburg. Hopefully work schedules don't clash too much that we don't get to see each other. Going from seeing someone nearly every day to not being in the same city is difficult. I am weak, I know. I don't know how this happened. Oh Meg. We're so strong, so independent, such tough bitches... how'd we grow so dependent? *laughs* We've grown so sappy and sentimental. It kinda grosses me out. *smiles* Also searching through the yearbook I saw all these pictures of us with Shaunacey. I miss that girl too. I'll always love her, and hope the absolute best for her. J thinks it's okay that I can't just cut people out of my life, that I have this thread around them that I constantly grip on to. This month has brought me to be more at peace with myself. It's like I hit rock-bottom with my crazy nervous breakdown and now I'm on a steady incline of contentment. I'm a little nervous about Jac and Jon's Stag and Doe... but I know all will go well. I'm so excited for the great threesome bookclub. Books rock my world. And it makes me happy that Chris is as excited as I am. Lately I've gone from the desire to be as well-provided for as Alex, to reminding myself that there's no way I need that. Conversing about childhood reminds me that I have been brought up marvelously by two parents who love me, and no amount of money changes that. And talking with Julie at work about her messed up children, her shitty ex-marriage reminds me even more how fortunate I am. I know that if I have the kind of life provided for me as I grew up, I will be doing good. I know life wasn't always easy for my parents, but they did the best they could for us, and they love us more than anything. Often we get too wrapped up in the importance of our future careers and the income brought about by such; we forget what's really important. Family. Love. Time outside of work. This whole post is extremely random and jumbled and just generally a sappy 'ole mess. *hiccup* I think I should go to bed. Love y'all. Here's to bright tomorrows... *raises mug* Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one. -- Benjamin Franklin Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. -- Abraham Lincoln |
...tuesday, may fourth, two thousand four... Everything is moved in. However, we are lacking phone/internet right now. Therefore, I'm sitting in the UCC, with the coffee I bought with pennies and nickels (the coffee lady laughed at me), checking email, chatting, etc. We were supposed to have phone/internet today, but alas, Bell screwed up. Moving was fun. *laughs* I was so happy to see my daddy. And Andrew was in such a lovely big-brother mood. He attached his business cards to my bulletin board and informed me that I could call any number, any time. Aw sweet brother. And free lunch is a bonus. I'm getting more and more excited to go home this weekend. Excited, yet nervous. Went out with Amanda on Friday night, spent a whopping $3.50. That's all. Yet, I was feeling the pre-drinking pretty nicely. I have become weak. Some suave black boy was following me around, and grabbed me inappropriately several times. I was not impressed. I was just out to have a good time, not to get molested. I was going home in a huff when I was approached by Simon. Ah dear Simon. He called me "girl" repeatedly. As in, "hey girl, why aren't you at the bar anymore, I had my eye on you..." and so I vented about the other guy, and he was like "well girl, I understand your predicament, and I'll protect you, don't you worry... but damn girl, you can't blame a boy for wanting your fine self..." *laughs* Then another boy handed me flowers. I felt pretty special. Then, I went home to finish packing, to be awaked at seven in the morning to a Keston at my door. The Keston informed me that the Fan-Yee had gotten him to help move, but there was no Fan-Yee in the premises. So we had a chat and a nap until my sweet sweet Daddy/Brother arrived around nine-thirty. Holly is engaged now. Everyone is getting engaged/married. It's scary. I don't like to think that we are becoming that grown up. *laughs* I know it's true... but it's incredibly scary. J thinks all my friends are crazy for getting married so young, quite frankly, so do I. But I am merely happy to see them all happy. I love you guys. It's just hard to think of my little "Anita" getting married. I remember that when Chrissy and Sean got engaged last summer, Hol claimed that she didn't think she could say yes if Andrew asked her. But, she did. And now they are getting married the end of next August, and Chrissy and Sean the August after that. I have weddings for the next three Augusts. Anyway, I did have a whole bunch to say, but now can't remember much of it at all. So I guess that means that this is it. Just be happy you heard from me... as so many people have not. Love yous. *kiss kiss* |
...monday, may tenth, two thousand four... ...coffee shop diaries... Ozzy crooning on the radio, �Mama, I�m coming home��, the windows down, the warm air flowing through the car� gorgeous. I have never before imagined spending an entire Thursday night through Sunday morning weekend with someone, and not wanting to punch them once; I told him I should have been sick of him a long time ago. He says, maybe you�ll be sick of me tomorrow, and wraps his arms around me. This weekend it was Jacquie and Jon�s Stag and Doe, so went home for that. Once again, I was the only one to give Momma anything for Mother�s Day� well, Jenna gave her flowers too, which really makes my siblings look bad. This weekend we were like a real family. A family with teasing and jokes, but without the harsh words and tears. Apparently my daddy is scary. *laughs* My daddy is the least scary person in the world, but I guess he does look real tough. Saturday night, upon arriving back to London, we hit up the Beer Store moments before close and went out with Jill and Mike, Godby and Steph, and Chris. It was a good time, a good time which ended with my back being rubbed and kind words whispered in my ear while the night�s fine poison came charging back through my throat. Sunday morning it was breakfast at Christina�s, not Hooks, as buffets are only fun when it�s the gang of us and Mike had to go home for Momma Brunch. So, instead breakfast was lunch, after which I had a long, much needed nap. Anyone interested in hardcore partying it up in Caledonia?? I have lots more I wish to say, but unfortunately, tomorrow is a long day... I work from seven until three, then have class from seven until ten, then possibly visiting with Laila. I need my sleep. However, we do have telephone and internet now... hoorah! Work makes me so sad somedays. It's hard to believe how much you can see through some people. Seeing the pain in the bloodshot eyes behind the "black triple sugar". Seeing the faint outlines of a bruised lower lip and black eye as she hands her screaming child a sparkly donut to ease the pain. The tear she wipes from her cheek as she turns to the garbage can, not knowing that her movements were being observed. Some people I just want to run up to and give them a great big hug. The homeless man tells the story of his friend beaten to death by the "young punks". How he ran for his life instead of attempting to save him, showing off the large welt on his forehead where the stick connected. He thanks me for listening as "those older ladies all hate me". He turns away to sit and weep over his mug. |
...saturday, may fifteen, two thousand four... ...everything... I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind I can withhold like it's going out of style I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen And you've never met anyone who's as positive as I am sometimes You see everything, you see every part You see all my light and you love my dark You dig everything of which I'm ashamed There's not anything to which you can't relate And you're still here I blame everyone else, not my own partaking My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating I'm the most gorgeous woman that you've ever known And you've never met anyone who's as everything as I am sometimes You see everything, you see every part You see all my light and you love my dark You dig everything of which I'm ashamed There's not anything to which you can't relate And you're still here What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go You see everything, you see every part You see all my light and you love my dark You dig everything of which I'm ashamed There's not anything to which you can't relate And you're still here And you're still here And you're still here... (Alanis Morissette) |
| ...monday, may seventeen, two thousand four... ...summertime... I absolutely love this weather. I love seeing the sunrise over the Thames as I walk to work. I love passing by chirpy little cardinals. I love the adorable little old man who tips his hat as me as the scent of his cigar lingers behind. I love the fragrant lilac tree I pass each day. |
| ...friday, may twenty-one, two thousand four... Technically it's Saturday, but I haven't gone to bed yet, so I'm pretending it's still Friday night. I'm covered in cuts and bruises and burns, but I'm happier than yesterday. It just seems like I've been so overwhelmed with working full-time and class... it just got a hold on me. I watched About Schmidt tonight. I was a little skeptical at first, but it's a beautiful movie. Jack Nicholson has yet to disappoint me. There's no May 2-4 weekend for me... well, technically there is... but I don't get to do anything special for it. Surprise! I have worked this long weekend since I was 14. I do hope that Jordy and Steph and Godby come up tomorrow night though... company is always welcomed. *smiles* It was Jordy's birthday on Tuesday. He claims it was the best birthday to date, even with the fact that he had to go in and work all night. I think he's merely saying this to make me happy. *laughs* But it works. It was everyone's birthday this week... Erica, Jordy, Mike, Steve and Keston. So, happy group birthday. *smiles* I know my posts have been rather sparse and of little content when they do manage to pop-up, and for that, I apologize. Just know that I am alive, and... relatively happy. Busy more than anything, but y'all are always welcome here. And because I am getting perturbed by the lack of planning around here... For MY Birthday: "Hawk Rocks the Park" July 22nd - 24th at Harris Park, London! Alice Cooper, The Edgar Winter Band, Foghat, John Kay and Steppenwolf, David Clayton Thomas and Blood Sweat and Tears, Randy Bachman, April Wine, Honeymoon Suite, Lighthouse, Helix, Goddo and more... Tickets: a whopping forty-five dollars. I have class til 9:30 on my birthday, a night class that I simply cannot miss as we get the question that counts for fifty percent of our exam mark... but after that, we're hitting up the park. Drinking all night, crashing at Jordy's house all day... how convenient that he lives only a short walk away from Harris Park. *sigh* But yes... I have to be up in, oh, four hours to do this whole blasted cycle again. Goodnight folks, hope your respective Victoria Day weekends are fabulous... and unspoiled by this shitty weather. As read on highschool t-shirts: May 2-4 Forever! *laughs* 'Night. |
...tuesday, may twenty-five, two thousand four... The crappy May Two-Four weather satisfied my little working-girl self to no end. Ah the sinister giggles while my beach-seeking roomates were off shivering and drenched in Grand Bend and I was all warm and making money. Even better... last night we went to see fireworks. Jordy's genius idea. I remember fireworks as a kid, my family would pack into the car with blankets galore and head out as the sun slowly hid from view under the horizon. Fireworks are like the drive-in, they will always contain happy memories. I always feel at home lost amidst the bounteous bliss that is this. Anyway, I really must go and finish up the assignment that's due in class tonight. The boy headed out to run some errands, and my Meghan phone call was cut blastedly short... and therefore, my procrastinating ends here. "Before Benjamin Franklin began to think about lightning, the received wisdom had it identified as a supernatural phenomenon. For that reason, gunpowder was often stored in churches, to give it divine protection. Church bells were rung during thunderstorms to ward off the bad spirits. Between 1750 and 1784, lightning struck 386 German churches, killing 103 bell-ringers. In 1767 lightning struck a Venetian church whose vaults were filled with gunpowder. The explosion killed 3,000 people." -- John Ralson Saul, from The Unconscious Civilization, demonstrating the problem with blindly following ideology |