don't be fooled by me.
don't be fooled by the face i wear
for i wear a thousand masks, masks that i'm afraid to take off,
and none of them are me.
pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
i give the impression that i'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game;
that the water's calm and i'm in command, and that i need no one.
but don't believe me. please.
my surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
beneath this lies no complacence.
beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
but i hide this. i don't want anybody to know it.
i panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed.
that's why i frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant, sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.
but such a glance is precisely my salvation.
my only salvation, and i know it.
that is if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.
it's the only thing that will assure me of what i can't assure myself --
that i am worth something.
but i don't tell you this. i don't dare. i'm afraid to.
i'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
i'm afraid that deep down i'm nothing,
that i'm no good and that you will see this and reject me.
so i play my game, my desperate game,
with a facade of assurance without,
a trembling child within.
so begins the parade of masks. and my life becomes a front.
who am i, you may wonder. i am someone you know very well.
for i am every man you meet and i am every woman you meet.
~unknown
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